Okay, this Homeopathy Thing's Gone Too Far

Yet another sign that western civilization is coming to a screeching halt is this item plucked out of the news stream from Austria: Top doc backs picking your nose and eating it

Picking your nose and eating it is one of the best ways to stay healthy, according to a top Austrian doctor.

Innsbruck-based lung specialist Prof Dr Friedrich Bischinger said people who pick their noses with their fingers were healthy, happier and probably better in tune with their bodies.

He says society should adopt a new approach to nose-picking and encourage children to take it up.

Dr Bischinger said: "With the finger you can get to places you just can't reach with a handkerchief, keeping your nose far cleaner.

"And eating the dry remains of what you pull out is a great way of strengthening the body's immune system.

Those Austrians. Always so "practical." What the doc neglects to mention is that while you may live longer, picking can damage your chances of being able to reproduce.... as we learn in the Holy Book of Seinfeld:

JERRY: Well every day for the past four days she hasn't returned one call.

GEORGE: Was it a scratch or a pick?

JERRY: It was a scratch.

GEORGE: Hey. It's me.

JERRY: Don't you think I know the difference between a pick and a scratch?

[Buzzer]

JERRY: Yeah?

ELAINE: (OC) It's me.

JERRY: Come on up.

GEORGE: Was there any nostril penetration?

JERRY: There may have been some incidental penetration. But from her angle she was in no position to make the call.

GEORGE: So let's say in her mind she witnessed a pick. Okay, so then what?

JERRY: Is that so unforgivable? Is that like breaking a commandment? Did God say to Moses thou shalt not pick?

GEORGE: I guarantee you that Moses was a picker. You wander throughh the desert for forty years with that dry air. ... You telling me you're not going to have occasion to clean house a little bit.

JERRY: Let me ask you something. If you were going out with somebody and if she did that what would, would you do? Would you continue going out with her?

GEORGE: No. That's disgusting!

...

JERRY: An' what if I did do it? Even though I admit to nothing, and never will. What does that make me?

And I'm not here just defending myself but all those Pickers out there who've been caught.

Each an' every one of them, who has to suffer the shame and humiliation because of people like you.. (Everyone but Jerry is now in the elevator. Jerry's still addressing them)

Are we not human?! If we pick, do we not bleed?! (Elevator doors shut. A few people in the hallway are looking at him, he turns and addresses them)

I am not an animal!
-- The Pick @ Seinfeld Scripts

Posted by Vanderleun at March 12, 2004 1:56 PM | TrackBack