May 23, 2007

Translations

"Why right to vote, without an ID, is worth fighting for" by State Sen. Mario Gallegos, D., Houston (Houston Chronicle) Translation: People can vote Democrat more than once!


"Iran denies placing obstacles to UN nuclear inspections" (AFP) Translation: "Iran Continues to Defy U.N." (AP)

"Wolfowitz and Gal Pal Split Up" (Page Six) Translation: Hell hath no fury like a woman assigned to the Drive-Up teller window.

"Bin Laden wanted Iraq as a new base" (CNN) Translation: Will settle for Democratic base.

"Female Shark Reproduced Without Male DNA, Scientists Say" (NYT) Translation: Rosie O'Donnell lifestyle choice validated.

"I should begin by saying that I have great respect for Ryan Sager." (Andrew Sullivan) Translation: He's not as pure as I am so screw him.

"Democrats Find Ethics Overhaul Elusive in House" (NYT) Translation: Murtha not only looks like a pig, he behaves like one too. To no Democrat's surprise. To nobody's surprise, least of all Murtha.

"The military said seven soldiers and two Marines were killed in separate attacks yesterday, bringing the U.S. death toll for the month to at least 80. Last month, 104 U.S. troops were killed in Iraq." (Seattle Times) Translation: The War in Iraq is still being conducted at such a low level of ferocity that one month's KIA is still below one hour's KIA on D-Day.

"The CIA has received secret presidential approval to mount a covert "black" operation to destabilize the Iranian government, current and former officials in the intelligence community tell the Blotter on ABCNews.com." (The Blot) Translation: We'll report anything if it makes it hotter for George Bush and easier on Iran. Whether or not it is good for the country doesn't bother us. Why? Because we're assholes and there are no consequences for our behavior.

"Navy stages show of force off Iran coast" (AP) Translation: We're the Navy and we don't do "covert black operations." One false move and we blow you up. PS: We're not the British Navy, so make our day.

"Gay flamingos pick up chick: The couple, together for six years, can feed chicks by producing milk in their throats." (AFP) Translation: No, I didn't want to know that either.

Posted by Vanderleun at May 23, 2007 6:18 AM | TrackBack
Bookmark and Share

Comments:

HOME

"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Gay flamingos???? Hate to burst that bubble, but one of them had to copulate with a bird of the opposite sex in order to hatch a chick, duh. Also, it's not unusual for flamingos to raise chicks cooperatively, as they live in large colonies. As for producing milk "in their throats," all flamingos secrete a substance from their upper digestive tract that is called "crop milk," to feed their chicks.

The convoluted lengths some people will go to just to validate their lifestyles. Sheesh!

[hey, we only now what we read in the papers at the link!]

Posted by: JB at May 23, 2007 9:53 AM

"Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged." Translation: Thank you for clearing up a confusion in my mind.

Posted by: freaktown at May 23, 2007 10:17 AM

To further simplify the translations: Pigs, pigs, pigs in one form or fashion---one and all!

Posted by: Webutante at May 23, 2007 8:06 PM

JB,

The egg was abandoned by the parents. The two gay flamingoes adopted the egg and brooded it until it hatched.

I do hope voting instructions don't become so simple even you can understand them.

Posted by: Alan Kellogg at May 25, 2007 3:55 PM

Heh! Funny stuff! The gay flamingo thing was...bizarre to say the least.

Who follows gay flamingos around for 6 years anyway?

Probably cut from the same cloth as the people who measure polar bear testes.

For that matter, who pays the grants to follow gay flamingos for several years?


Posted by: Ben USN (Ret) at May 26, 2007 4:39 AM
Post a comment:

"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated to combat spam and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.










Remember personal info?