Every so often you find something on a site that cries out for an award. This item, just in time for the freaky week of the year, qualifies. From the strange and wonderful Quibbles and Bits
Appliance EnvyLook at this kitchen.
The refrigerator standing smug and tall, glorious in its beauty, selected not just for its function, but for its gleaming white exterior. I hate it, the cold hearted bastard. But they love it.
Beside it is the stove, a hot headed beauty. It stands there with its gaping maw ready to swallow anything they wish to make suffer in its interminably hot interior. They give it the fresh food, right from the cold heart of the refrigerator. Its top brings their soups and burgers to fruition. They love their stove. They worked hard to find the one that appealed to their sensibilities and aesthetics. But I hate it, and its searing heat.
To my left stands their other love. It too opens its gaping maw, but they feed it their dishes, wiped clean of their discards, and in gratitude it returns them clean and shining. They love it, and picked it as well for its gleaming exterior, the third in their triumvirate of technological lust. And I hate it, it and its sloshing water.
They feed me only the refuse of their meals, the scraps that have gone cold, the detritus culled from the gleaming interior of the refrigerator, the moldy husks of meals long forgotten. They do not think of me, except when they cram me so full of debris that I choke. They stuck me here, under the sink, hidden in the cabinet, and stuffed a hose into my mouth so that I am forced to suckle the waste of the dishwasher, that cruel, cruel machine that laughs and gurgles as I choke on its refuse. They corralled me here, and put me on a leash, a switch that prevents me from exacting my revenge.
Some day I shall be free. Some day I shall tear their fingers from their reaching hands. I shall have my day, though it may be far in the future. I shall exact my vengeance with my thrashing teeth, and I shall taste of their warm flesh, one fresh meal before I splatter their blood across the gleaming white faces of the refrigerator, stove, and dishwasher.
I lie in wait. And I am patient.
I am the Garbage Disposal.
Pointer via Bad Money who also saw the Stephen King parallel first.
