Worst Reason to Buy A Useless Product

If you are the kind of cook who owns a melon baller and a lemon zester and who wants to scare little children, you need the Octodog. Yes, this handy little item makes, in five steps, a hot dog into something that looks like an octopus. The inventor clearly feels that this will cause children to eat more hot dogs. Around my house, the boy eats, in my opinion, entirely too many hot dogs as a part of his diet. I may, in fact, buy this gruesome gadget as a means of scaring him off hot dogs for life.

But the inventor, who is obviously not a salesman on the level of a Popiel. provides a reason that is worse than his product. In answering the burning question Why Octodogs? he informs prospective buyers:

The hotdog is among the top ten items found in many lists concerning choking occurrences in young children. Pediatricians recommend slicing a hotdog linearly. The method of slicing a hotdog linearly can reduce the chances of choking during consumption. A sliced hotdog is a safer way to serve hotdogs to children. Octodogs are not only fun, but may be a safer way to serve hotdogs.

The illustration shows a stub of a hotdog with long tendrils hanging off of it. You might not choke on it, but you could choke somebody with it.

Posted by Vanderleun at July 8, 2003 3:29 AM