January 10, 2010

The Shocking All White Crime Wave in Brinksville [Updated with alternate ending]

There's no diversity when it comes to threats to home security in Brinksville. These perps and gangstas could snow blind a polar bear. And they're not all that threatening since their MO seems to be "smash a window or a door and FLEE!"

Of course, these are all threats to upscale homes built on the planet Caucasia. I'm waiting for the commercials about "threats that look like America" to apartments, house trailers and rural cabins. Those will be sponsored by Mossberg ["No waiting."].

The first 15 to 30 seconds of these will give you the general idea. The rest is just pitching.


"Just to Be Sure"

"First Date"

"Wrong Door"

"Picture Picture"

"The Ex"

Updated: Of course, there's always the other ending.

Posted by Vanderleun at January 10, 2010 2:49 AM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

And don't forget those well-integrated, multi-cultural throngs of anti-social hoodlums who appear on the streets of Movie New York and Movie LA who roam unimpeded, until the anti-Second amendment advocate arrives on the scene and blows them away with awesome slo-mo firepower. Oh, they fire back, but they always miss our hero.

And I know this one, true thing, Gerard: if I should ever visit Television New York, the police and prosecutors from Law and Order Town will be there, protecting me from all the evil, white, male pharmacy company execs, insurance company execs, and those evil, white, deluded female half-wit Bible thumping Christian home schooling mom fanaticists who plague the tolerant streets of that fair berg, that's what I know.

Posted by: Jewel at January 9, 2010 2:53 AM

Hahahaha, Gerard, you are so correct. I thought I was the only person amused by Ad World's collectivist decision to PC any controversy by starring a white man as evil/stupid/lazy.

But as I scout the horizon I don't see anyone gaining on me. Good luck with that, Progs.

And another thing, why the interest in pump 12 Ga? My semi-autoloader kicks the shit out of pump seven days a week. I'm old enough not to need the macho snik-snik.

Posted by: at January 9, 2010 7:24 AM

I GET it now! Spend gobs and gobs of flooz to protect yourselves from white guys who can't finish the deal. I think a Smith and Wesson would out shoot a brinksman any day or night of the week

Posted by: Jewel at January 9, 2010 8:09 AM

Finally, fucking finally!!
I've been talking about this for many years now...
It's not just the 'magical negro' in movies...it's the black female boss, the smart black shopper, the bad/stupid white male on all the tv commercials.
Go ahead and look back over lo the past 15 years, and wonder why you were so blind.
This is not at all a new phenomenon.

Posted by: Uncle Jefe at January 9, 2010 7:22 PM

I prefer this one:


Posted by: Rich at January 10, 2010 6:55 AM

As do I. Updated. Thanks.

Posted by: vanderleun at January 10, 2010 7:24 AM

I love happy endings...oh wait. I'm not on the sarcasma thread.

Posted by: Jewel at January 10, 2010 10:13 AM

And of course, the guy in the last video couldn't possibly be someone who is looking for help because his car has broken down. Of course not.

Posted by: Fletcher Christian at January 11, 2010 3:06 PM

Fletcher, I'm disappointed in you. That's really not your best work, is it, unfortunate lad.

Posted by: vanderleun at January 11, 2010 9:06 PM

Yup Felcher Christian.

It's could just have been some poor guy with a broken down car looking for help with his saw-back combat knife prising away at the French doors out back.

Happens all the time.

Posted by: monkeyfan at January 12, 2010 11:08 AM

Fletcher, I'm disappointed in you. That's really not your best work, is it, unfortunate lad.

Posted by: Artisecmv at June 1, 2013 3:03 AM