"It's 3 AM, the phone is ringing..."

Remember "Ready to rule on Day One?" Surveying the scene at the Oval office, Don Surber notes "There is nobody there."

Barack Obama is too busy posing for magazine covers to actually do the job to which he was elected. There is a price to be paid when a president throws a party every other night, weekends in Chicago or Camp David and poses for magazine cover after magazine cover. After 51 days in office, Barack Obama has appointed only 73 people to 1,200 jobs that require Senate confirmation.

That price might be paid at 3 AM

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Ring.... ring.... ring.... ring... ring...

Hello! You've reach the New Lincoln's bedroom at the White House. The lights are on, but there's nobody home. Please listen carefully since our menu options and policies may have changed.

If you are satisfied with Heroic President Barack Obama's performance in and out of New Lincoln's bedroom, please press 1 on your touch-tone phone, or say "yes" when you hear the tone. If you choose not to say "Yes" you will be disconnected.

If your nation, state. city or town is being attacked by nuclear, chemical, or biological weapons, and you would like our Heroic President to hang out and parse this with you, please press 2, or say the word "Help" when you hear the tone in order to hear the latest inspiring speech by our Heroic President Barack Obama.

If you would like Heroic President Obama to pose for your magazine cover, please press 3, or say the phrase "Give us your hump!" at the tone. Your call will be forwarded to the Heroic President's personal fluffer for prompt scheduling.

If you need an immediate military response, please hold and your call will be automatically forwarded to the Heroic President's Office of Global Thermonuclear War.

..... Ring.... Ring.... (click)...

Hello! At the Heroic President's Office of Global Thermonuclear War your call is important to us so please continue to hold. A Vice-President with no power might be with you shortly if he can be located and restored to consciousness.

While you're on hold, we’d like to tell you about important services and policies Heroic President Obama has to offer you. Did you know that we offer a "free gold grill package" to our most frequent voters if their ethnic backgrounds are correct? Ask any Acorn/Obama Corps Commandante for more information. Your wait time is currently calculated to be six hours.

..... Ring.... Ring.... (click)...

Thank you! for calling the Heroic President's office of Global Thermonuclear War.

Please enter your PIN number.

We’re sorry, that is an invalid entry.

Please enter your card number now, followed by the pound key.

Please enter your card number now.

We’re sorry, the political party attached to the entered card number is not valid. Please try again later. Thank you.

Posted by Vanderleun at March 11, 2009 12:09 PM