August 12, 2003

The Arnold Perplex Solved

That Swiss Army Knife of commentators,Michael J. Totten is working his way through "the Arnold Perplex" (tm) today in: Annoying Arnold

Totten writes:

Arnold is apparently a liberal Republican, one of those guys who could go either way but chose the GOP for whatever reason. Fine then, he's probably like my dad with bigger muscles.
That's not only a start, it is also a hint. Just, exactly, what is Arnold? In a way, I suppose we'll find out a little of that over the next two months. But, in an effort to get ahead of the curve, my theory evolved as follows.

Once the Totten effect clarified my thinking, I knew in a flash that the solution to 'the Arnold Perplex' was simple: Arnold is a "biliberal."(tm)

"What in the name of all that is politically correct is a "biliberal?" you might ask. And you'd be right to do so. The simplest way of determining the essence of "biliberality" is to contemplate another, more established American "bi," the American bisexual.

The American bisexual is a kind of human who has been around for a lot longer than his or her new running mate, the American biliberal. When we ask the Googlic Oracle (tm) about this, it sends us the answer thus:

"What is a bisexual? A "bisexual" is a person who has a sexual and/or romantic interest in people of both genders. However, a bisexual woman or man does not necessarily have lovers of both genders at the same time. "

From that it is a simple matter to transpose a few terms and create a concise definition of our term:

"What is a biliberal? A "biliberal" is a person who has a political and/or philosophic interest in policies of both parties. However, a biliberal Democrat or Republican does not necessarily hold policies of both parties at the same time."

If you reflect on the above, and compare it to the little that is known about Arnold's political views at this time, you will see that it maps perfectly.

Whether or not Arnold's political tendencies arise from his more personal sexual tendencies is beyond the scope of a page rooted in family values such as this.

I leave that to be revealed by those Divas of Dirt (tm), Bonnie Fuller and Matt Drudge.

Posted by Vanderleun at August 12, 2003 10:14 AM
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