February 7, 2004

Satan's Packaging

Filed under "Brilliant observations about the really irritating little things of modern life" --

"What's all this about a food product? We're a drywall concern, Jenkins."

"Exciting new product, sir : thin slabs of lightly-baked dry cracker meal marketed as a base for cheeses and the like, or to the spastic person who would rather appear gluttonous than drool in public."

"Interesting. Naked unglazed cracker meal? They must stale in a manner of minutes after exposure to air."

"Yes sir. Inedible."

"How do you plan to package such a fragile product?"

"Well sir, we think the obvious way to go is a tough, form-fitting ripstop plastic sleeve with a false seam down one side."

"Yes, yes... name the product Cracker Meal Everywhere. No, not enough sex appeal... Crumbs In Your Hair... no, you could never get a pun like that over."

"Saltines sir. The name preserves the surprise, and sets up a false expectation of flavor."

"Excellent. Slaughter those two baby goats and begin production immediately. Hail Satan!"

"Hail Satan!"

From-- Genius at work

Posted by Vanderleun at February 7, 2004 10:22 AM | TrackBack
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