October 1, 2013

Something Wonderful: Possible Scenarios for Heaven by Leslie Harpold


A record arm that you can pick up and put down in favorite parts of your life to play over, like dropping the needle in the middle of your favorite song back in 1980, when you knew exactly which part of the groove was where the guitar solo to "Train in Vain" ended. Moving it there meant you could dance around your room for just one more minute before shoving off, face first, into the snow on a school day.

Pick the arm up in heaven, and it's the moment right before Billy Mullen kisses you, standing in the Putt Putt parking lot, just before the street lights come on. Leave it playing through the part where you race home, feet barely touching the ground for the nine blocks you run until you collapse on the landing, face flushed. Lift it off again before you hear your mom say "Young lady..."

After savoring it a moment, which might be three hundred heaven years, drop it again that one day you stood in front of the mirror naked and went "you know, I think my boobs are pretty good," and actually believed it.

Just replaying the greatest moments again and again, and always being pleasantly surprised how quickly they add up, how many you have to choose from, not having had the luxury of seeing them like an endless play list when you wandered around on this mortal coil.

You get to drive down the most beautiful road ever as fast or slow as you like in a car with enough leg and head room, a great stereo, and the companion of your choice. Your companion enjoys riding shotgun as much as you love driving.

Someone brushes your hair every single day and never says, "My arms are tired."

The novel you wished would never end doesn't and peonies bloom year round. You are encouraged to watch movies from an oversized bathtub.

Get up around sunrise, because sunrise is always five minutes after you wake up in heaven, and seeing a different and more magnificent one each day, simultaneously thinking "Wow, Earth was beautiful" and also "This is pretty great too."

Spend the whole day reunited with pets and being really good at all the stuff you never got around to learning but always wanted to try like snow boarding and making quilts.

The feeling you get when you wake up in the middle of the night laughing thinking about the silliest thing you saw that day.

Swimming in the nicest pool ever, (100% pee free!) slightly heated, incredibly refreshing and no one ever bumping into you. To keep you aware of how lovely it is, periodically you get out of the pool for a big cookout where the watermelon they serve after the hot dogs is fresh and sweet, and there's no penalty for getting back in the pool too soon. Also spitting watermelon seeds would be considered a beautiful gesture, not something "nice young ladies like you do not do."

Perpetually maintaining a combination of these three feelings: hearing the first five bars of your favorite song in an unexpected place, the feeling you have when you wake up from a power nap, drink a glass of water and blink twice while taking your deepest breath; combined with that super fleeting moment your lips stop touching someone else's. Right when you realize you've been kissed.

It is totally okay to write yourself notes and draw pictures on your arms and legs, as long as they are beautiful. P.S. You also get perfect penmanship.

Prada looking pants that feel like flannel pajama bottoms. You are always a size six.

Fresh blackberries with breakfast every day. Diet coke on tap. Gymnastics are second nature to your body, you flip and tumble with alacrity. When people look at you, they see you and they smile from the heart. At night you sleep on the softest pillow ever, and both sides of the pillowcase are cool.

What is is always good enough.

Posted by Leslie @ June 17, 2003 04:11 AM || Found at Cadenhead's Workbench

Why Leslie Harpold's Sites Disappeared | WorkbenchLeslie's family appears to have decided to let her entire body of work disappear and be forgotten completely. The only things that are left online are articles she wrote for other sites, such as The Morning News.

Posted by gerardvanderleun at October 1, 2013 3:11 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

I followed the jump, and read the post, and involuntarily belly-laughed. Not to worry, God knows. Heaven isn't like any temporal experience of this world. It is joy, the connection to the living God.

Posted by: Casca at October 1, 2013 4:03 PM


Posted by: Leslie at October 1, 2013 6:25 PM

No I don't want a harp or a halo, not me.
Just give me a deck and the free rolling sea.
The wind in the rigging will sing me a song.
And I'll play me old squeezbox as we roll along.

Dress me up in me oilskins and jumper.
No more by the docks I'll be seen.
Just tell me old shipmates.
I'm taking a trip mates.
And I'll see ye all someday on Fiddlers Green.

Posted by: stuart at October 3, 2013 9:17 AM
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