Gay Is Busting Our All O-O-Ver....! @ AMERICAN DIGEST

October 6, 2006

Gay Is Busting Our All O-O-Ver....!

The semi-pro gay outer (Republican Gays Only) David Corn continues to promote his "List of Gays to Be Outed Agenda" with

Copies of The List (see below) have been sent by gay politicos to a variety of social conservative groups that look to the Republican Party to make their religious right dreams come true.

I must admit that it was only recently that I thought of Corn as a man more fit than any other to fly the Rainbow flag from the top of his pole; of a man ready to fight the good fight for gay freedom, gay justice, gay marriage, and the gay American way. This latest obsession of his to make sure

that only gay Republicans are outed against their will, however, leaves me with the suspicion that his flagpole only has the Rainbow at half-mast.

Still, it is perhaps a portent of things to come in America when everybody is going to run the Rainbow flag up their pole and confess, CONFESS, that at last we are all GAY! (Bravo Network shares THROUGH THE ROOF I tell you!)

I just found out that the heterosexual dyke was giving way when I discovered this startling confession:Roger L. Simon: Outing myself

Still... despite the fact that I have been married three times (to women) and have three children (of my own seed, as far as I know), I cannot cover up any longer. This dual life has become intolerable. I am gay!

What can I say? I was completely underwhelmed by this confession, but I guess it just had to be. Why I was speaking to Roger's lovely (not-Gay) wife on the hush-hush just last weekend when she informed me, "I don't know what to do. It's... well.. it's just that Roger doesn't seem himself lately."

"You mean since he shaved his head? Maybe he was just coming out as a bald guy."

"No," she replied wistfully, "It's something else. Something darker from his past that is struggling to emerge."

"His addiction to Bauhaus architecture?"

"No, nothing that evil. Something else. Something that's just hard for me to put my finger on."

I had repressed that conversation until today's startling revelation, but now... well.. both his wife and myself now know for certain.

But I am not going to let that get me down... the sight of a formerly heterosexual man confessing his alignment with the Rainbow side...

No. I am going to take strength from his bold move of self-outing and make my own declaration. A declaration I would not have had the strength to make if not for Simon's example. And in that spirit, I too hereby make my public declaration and out myself:

"Thank you Roger. Now I have the strength to out myself as well. For decades I have been a lesbian trapped in a man's body. I can't help it. I have this deep need to pursue every beautiful woman I see. What can this be other than latent lesbianism? As my two wives will, if they were speaking to me, attest, I have in the past performed lesbian acts on them. I couldn't help it because it was in my genes and also part of their special request.

"Come to think about it, their means of reciprocation now makes me suspect that both wives were gay males trapped in beautiful female bodies.

"Humm, so if I was and am a lesbian and both my wives were really gay males..... then... Bravo Network shares THROUGH THE ROOF I tell you!"

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AN EXPANDING SOCIAL MOVEMENT! The Anchoress is, well, into it: Outting myself-and whoever else wants outing!

Posted by Vanderleun at October 6, 2006 1:06 PM

Juliette, you have my absolute sympathy and may call, email or post on my blog anytime to relieve the stress of dealing with.... well.....this kinda short-haired, blocky and rather testosterone laden lesbian who seems to have an inordinate and unseemly amount of influence over PajamasMedia. Plus he's contaminating the comfortably opaque liberal waters of my hometown with his carefully constructed reality rants!

Is there a residential twelve-step program we could perhaps get Gerard and Roger into? For, say, a decade? Perhaps in "Outer" Siberia?

For the record, over on my blog I've outed myself too. And it's not pretty.

Snort.

Posted by: AskMom at October 7, 2006 12:37 PM

Comments:

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That is wicked, Gagdad, and really funny. How many Steadman's are there anyway/ I happen to be very happily married to a man who has found his niche as a survivor of the feminista movement and came out years ago as male lesbian and so find myself deeply moved by what you have to put up with , Juliette.

Posted by: Gecko at October 7, 2006 12:23 AM

I hear what you're saying about women wanting you to take part in these filthy activities, but you just have to be strong. Naturally she's asked me to, but I can only think of one time that I've actually changed a diaper.

Posted by: Gagdad Bob at October 7, 2006 3:09 PM

I'm not Spartacus. I went out for a loaf of bread, and this great mob of angry men waving weapons of all sorts show up, shouting down with the Republic, and death to slave owners. Then you lot show up, slaughter those idiots in great numbers, and round up every man in sight. All I want to do is take my bread and go home. I have no idea who this Spartacus is, I don't know what he looks like, and I don't want to be him for love or money.

Posted by: Alan Kellogg at October 9, 2006 4:35 PM