I have it on good authority that the Republican leadership has just signed off on what wags are calling "The Obama Doomsday Device.
According to my source in the most secret regions of the blogosphere (Aka The Dark Web), should McCain be forced to bow out for health reasons, the Obama roll-up will continue.
In the unlikely event that John McCain is unable to run, the party will name Sarah Palin as their candidate. As soon as this is accomplished, the behind the scenes negotiations of the last week will be revealed, and Palin will name Hillary Clinton as her running mate. Once the ticket is revealed, the Republican Party will vote it up or down via a "Palin-Clinton Yes/No/Present Poll" on Instapundit.
After this formality, several large tanker trucks of Goofy Grape Kool-Aid will be delivered to the Obama Campaign Headquarters as a gift from the newly named Republiclinton Party.
Also funded by the Republiclintons will be the deployment of over 38,500 grief counselors that have been in storage in a Colorado Salt Mine since their triumphant post-Katrina tour of New Orleans. The bulk of these counselors will be sent to Daily Kos inmates and MSNBC headquarters in order to head off the wave of ritual suicides. One especially hunky grief counselor, Midshipman Ole Swenson, will be dispatched to the Atlantic Monthly to comfort Andrew Sullivan.
When contacted for confirmation, the Obama, McCain, and Clinton campaigns declined to comment. However, three waitresses at three separate Denny's confirmed that they heard McCain, Palin, and Clinton chatting about this on their cell phones while ordering Grand Slams all around this AM. Which is good enough for us.
Posted by Vanderleun at September 6, 2008 5:41 PM | TrackBackI'm going to have to start charging you for these bits.
Posted by: Alan Kellogg at September 6, 2008 8:19 PMIndeed.
Dame Sarah, having pulled Excalibur from the stone,
could hardly be expected to simply retire upon such an 'unlikely event'.
In fact, one might keep those grief counselors on alert
in case of an unlikely mishap to the putative VP Hillary.
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