The proper wine is critical, for You know how it is with me baby / It takes a whole lot of medicine / For me to pretend I’m somebody else. --Randy Newman

Consuming a meal without a fine wine is so uncivilized(!). These types of events tend to steam me.

Eat The Rude: Lecter '08.

Yes, indeed, the better menu would be their livers with fava beans. Wine from a box. And as Jack Reacher would say, then we piss on the graves of their ancestors.

Don't eat them! Turn them into biofuel instead.

It may be a little difficult to follow, but bear with me....

Look, I know I shouldn’t be so sanctimonious about the inherent weakness of the human condition when it applies to victims of borderline personality disorder and the conservative right, which is the same thing. Lord knows they have a vast plethora of silly or otherwise stupid raison d'être to ingest whatever is handed to them, no matter how ludicrous and irrational, even those of them too dim to come up with a justification that rings factual next to their fallacious twaddle. Some of them even mull over their respective condition as a illness, like hairy knuckle syndrome or elephantiasis, which, like the religious right, is caused by parasitic worms. Scientists and all other rational people say that we should circumvent these people/worms, and prescribe for those unfortunate enough to surrender to this brain debilitating condition increased roughage, avoidance of moldy political rhetoric, and to not eat or otherwise pay attention to any pinhead who goes on about other disorders as patriotism or other molasses-based (textured) feeds. It must be said, however, that once the victim succumbs to this “compost”, absolute avoidance of GOP Polio is unattainable at this time. After doing everything "right," imbibers, child molesters, and people with just casual acquaintance with GOPeer “thinking” will still have increasing diminished realistic thought capacity

Didya know all those big words before Gerard pissed you off, Carl, or did you have to blow a lot of time on Freedictionary.com to paste this rant together?

Wheel of Fortune is always in reruns somewhere on the dial. Go now, before you hurt yourself, to the entertainment configured for you by your Hollywood Overlords; patriotism is a subject no amount of purchased vowels can make you fit to discuss.

Carl seems to have a lot of time on his hands. Why do I have a feeling that there isn't a Mrs. Gordon?

As for this mighty U.N. panel, I would suggest they eat the same food and under the same conditions that the U.N. imposes on others:

-Moldy wheat or corn
-Rice so old that it resists expansion while boiling
-Force them to stand for hours in a crowd while bags of grain are tossed into their midst to be fought over
-Have a Somali-type technical spraying .50 caliber rounds at them while they eat
-Allow U.N. troops to mingle among them, raping and molesting as they see fit

Give them a break. They are studying hunger, and man, those menus make me ravenous.

carl gordon = cheese mousse

Sounds like Carl was using a thesaurus when he should've been using a dictionary. Actually, the farther in you get, what it really sounds like he could use is a therapist. They can do wonders with medication these days, Carl.

Do I need a raison d'etre to ingest a candy bar from the vending machine? Or should I just go for it?

They had to finish their legumes, or they couldn't have any desert.

Four legs good. Two legs bad.