January 14, 2010

Game On at Iowahawk: Comments Open for Stop Scott Brown Radio Scripts

In a clear sign of the end of days, Iowahawk has opened comments at: iowahawk: You've Got to Ac-cent-tchu-ate the Negative and is asking for your contributions in stopping the Scott Brown apocalypse express in Massachusettes:

Thankfully, independent concerned citizen groups such as ACORN, SEIU, and Multinational Pharmaceutical Executives for Good Government have stepped into the breach to create issue-oriented, informational media messages to point out Brown's insatiable appetite for toddler blood, his membership in a paramilitary death squad, and his palatial multi-thousand dollar timeshare in Aruba.

It's a good start, but not nearly enough if we are to avoid the galactic dystopian wasteland that awaits if Brown and his hate radio masters pull off this illegal coup. That's why I've opened up the comments for a limited time so you, the concerned Iowahawk reader, can provide your own 30 second Stop Scott Brown radio ad scripts.

Be there or despair.

My small effort reads:

[All VO text taken from: Blue Mass. Group:: Yes it sucks. Yes you have to vote Coakley.]

SOUNDTRACK UP: Onward Christian Soldiers (Instrumental) Fade under VO.

VO: You might not want to vote for Martha Coakley.

CHORUS: "She sucks!"

VO: You might think she deserves what's she's getting after an absentee, self-satisfied campaign.

CHORUS: "She sucks!"

VO: You likely want to send a message to everyone from the attorney general all the way to our well-spoken light-skinned President what's his name.

CHORUS: "She sucks!"

VO: Odds are you didn't vote for her in the primary.

CHORUS: "She sucks!"

VO:And, you might be wondering if it'll make a difference who wins this Tuesday.

CHORUS: "She sucks!"

VO: You got every reason to be pissed, but it needs to be clear: not voting for Coakley is the same as voting for Brown. And voting for Brown is a very, very bad thing.

CHORUS: "She sucks!"

VO: Yes she sucks. Yes you have to vote Coakley. Martha Coakley. She sucks good.

Paid for by the "Yes She Sucks But She Sucks The Way We Like It" Committee.

Posted by Vanderleun at January 14, 2010 9:48 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

(HT: Gerard)

Posted by: Ricky Raccoon at January 15, 2010 7:43 AM

You get one guess why no one (else) is commenting to this post.

Posted by: Ricky Raccoon at January 15, 2010 12:10 PM

Ricky R-
Just so you know, your comment is the only one I LOL'd at...

"I just want to be able to tell my grandkids, "Hey grandkids. Back in the derpreshin, your grampa got to comment on Iowahawk once."
Good day."

Posted by: Dinah Lord at January 15, 2010 7:25 PM

My ad would say, a vote for Coakley is a vote to sell Babe Ruth to the Yankees!

Posted by: Don L at January 16, 2010 6:09 AM