Charles Johnson: World's First Anal Ostrich

One struggles to find new realms of contempt in which to hold Charles "I'm writing as bad as I can" Johnson, but -- because he's a putz -- he always provides them. Latest realm? A sniveling bit of denial concerning the Sparkman death now revealed not to be an evil assassination but something even dumber: Census worker staged death to conceal suicide.

Johnson deftly conceals his own role in the matter by hiding his ostrich head up his own ass in a classic "Who? Me? Never!" bit of "clarification": Little Green Footballs - Update: Ky. Census Worker Committed Suicide

"Since this news came out, I’ve received several angry emails demanding that I apologize for saying Sparkman had been murdered by a right wing extremist. The problem is, I never wrote anything like that. For the record, this was my post when the story broke, and I don’t apologize for a single word:

There’s not enough information yet to say for sure what was behind this killing, so let’s not jump to conclusions. But the description of the circumstances and the timing (around the time of the Washington DC tea party) raises a strong suspicion that anti-government sentiment may have been the motivation.

[Emphasis added]

Sigh. What is one to do with this sort of copy? It wouldn't get by the newest editorial intern at Weekly World News. In effect it says, "I didn't say he was killed by those that I suggest killed him... those dastardly tea-partiers... and nobody can prove I did. All I said was 'strong suspicion'! All I said was 'I'm just raisin' issues and askin' questions."

People like Johnson fall into the category of true believers, those who are so far down the wrong path that they actually eat their own bullshit and called it "Pate." The blunt truth is that Johnson is so wrong he's "not even wrong." He's merely a piss-ant far down on the elephant of truth's ankle screaming "Take it all, bitch!"

It's a shame that Andrew Sullivan is already married. If he wasn't nuptials between Sullivan and Johnson would be the blogger society event of the season. Then again, it would never work out. In a gay marriage, both guys can't be the bottom.

Posted by Vanderleun at November 25, 2009 7:22 AM