November 13, 2005

Why Women Should Not Be In Charge of the Remote

bombingwife.jpg
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

Failed homicide bomber Iraqi Sajida Mubarek Atrous al-Rishawi: "My husband wore an (explosives-packed) belt and put one on me. He taught me how to use it," al-Rishawi said, wearing a white head scarf, a black gown and a disabled bomb belt tied around her waist.

"My husband detonated (his bomb) and I tried to explode my belt but it wouldn't," she said. "People fled running and I left running with them."

Backwards and in high heels I presume.

Posted by Vanderleun at November 13, 2005 11:57 AM
Bookmark and Share

Comments:

HOME

"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

No one recorded Sajida saying this:

We've been living out of a suitcase here in Amman for the last 3 years, and now Ali, Mr Bigshot Al-Qaeda Secret Terrorist, decides it's time for us to become suicide bombers. So Mr Knowitall makes us explosive belts and shows me how to use one--like I'm too stupid to know how to push a button--me, who's been working everything from the microwave to the laundromat every since we got married. Then we get all dressed up and go to this nice hotel where people are giving a wedding party--did I tell you this was the first time Mr Big Spender has taken me out to a party in fifteen years? We get there, and sneak into the ballroom by the side door--not the front door, because Mr I've-Got-A-Secret doesn't know any NICE people who might send us an invitation--no, only bums and shitheels like my no account brother. I haven't had any punch, no little hors d'oeuvres, or even hugged the young bride, and Mr I-Want-To-Get-Jiggy-With-72-Virgins says "Push the button! Push the button!" So I fiddle with my detonator and say "Oops! Poor little stupid me, I can't get it to work. Maybe you should just go ahead and explode without me." And Mr Bigshot International Terrorist Mastermind does exactly that. Do you think I could get a spot on Oprah after being on Jordanian TV?

Posted by: Mike Anderson at November 13, 2005 1:29 PM

Who wants to bet this little husband removal scheme isn't picked up by other Arab females tired of that worthless jihadist that keeps hanging around the house demanding to be treated like a hero and refusing to take out the garbage?

As for me...it's going to be "yes dear"...for the whole of next week.

Posted by: NC3 at November 13, 2005 5:14 PM

And they say the Islam denigrates and subjugates its women--who knew? Gloria Steinam would be proud of the ol' gal--veritable Rosa Parks, don't ya think?

Sounds like the Islamic feminists need a bit more practice, though--or maybe it's their first glass ceiling. Problem is, the training sessions are killer...

And do the ladies get 72 studs when they push the button? Enquiring minds want to know...

Great having you back posting, Gerard.

Posted by: Dr Bob at November 13, 2005 10:22 PM