March 11, 2016

THE NEW YORK TIMES, WORLD'S NEWSPAPER OF RECORD, CLOSES ITS DOORS FOREVER

burningtimes.jpg

Owners May Have 'Torched' Building for Insurance Money By DON PRENDERGAST AND LAKSHMI GURTZ Moments ago The New York Times building is currently on fire. While the building has been evacuated by the NYFD, several intrepid Times staffers, including this correspondent, have stayed inside to report on an historic event as it unfolds. The cause of the fire is unclear

The brazen torching of the New York Times headquarters by its soi-disant publisher Arthur Ochs Sulzberger Jr, is a sordid attempt to wring a paltry few million more from the corpse of a once great newspaper. His shameless looting of company coffers as the paper spiraled into bankruptcy, gave new meaning to his nickname “Pinch”

Markets Refuse to Slump on News of Times Demise By FRANK LEE CRAVEN 1:06 PM ET Facing the catastrophic collapse of the world's most prestigious news institution, financial markets apparently remain in denial.

In Famed Paper's Decline, No One to Blame

No, the customer is always right. And if Times customers determined they’d sooner let the Old Gray Lady die of money cancer than behave like grownups, it’s cool, and no one’s upset or angry. That’s their prerogative.

Besides, we’re sure you'll all be better off without us. We just hope you’re happy you leprous fuckbags.

GET THE FULL STORY AT The Final Edition

Posted by Vanderleun at March 11, 2016 4:10 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

You have a sick and twisted sense of humor, Vanderloon. But only because I know how crushed with disappointment I'm going to be when I find out it ain't true.

Posted by: Jewel at May 10, 2011 4:41 PM

"Women and Minorities Hardest Hit"

Posted by: Skorpion at May 10, 2011 4:54 PM

Let her RIP.

Posted by: RedCarolina at May 10, 2011 5:00 PM

‘tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.

Posted by: Fat Man at May 10, 2011 7:16 PM

What Jewel said.

Posted by: pdwalker at May 10, 2011 8:45 PM

If only. I check the ticker daily, awaiting that glorious day when NYT becomes a penny stock.

Posted by: GW at May 10, 2011 9:16 PM

When I think of the insults and injuries these bastards have inflicted on my country, it is hard not to fantasize that they would experience some of the same themselves. I really enjoyed the picture, and I suggest that a zoom-in on the front door showing a huge padlock would be even more satisfying. They demonstrate every day that they wish no better fate for the rest of us.

Posted by: sherlock at May 10, 2011 10:05 PM

But...but...what will I line the bird cage with now!!!

Posted by: Diogenes Sarcastica at May 11, 2011 12:57 AM

I'm pretty sure it's Bush's fault.

Posted by: Casca at May 11, 2011 3:21 AM

What, no picture of Palin flying a plane into the building?

Posted by: Peccable at May 11, 2011 5:48 AM

What Peccable said! Also, we want sidebars of the conspiracy theories, with Darth Cheney prominently featured. And bacon.

Posted by: raincityjazz at May 11, 2011 1:06 PM

Foy-yuh can't burn steel!

Posted by: BillT at May 11, 2011 6:01 PM