July 16, 2011

Cruising for a Bruising: The Nation/Nieuw Amsterdam Adventure

speakersnation.jpg
Speakers aboard The Nation's Nieuw Amsterdam Cruise

This morning in my email comes this irresistible invitation from the lizard breeding factory at The Nation:
nationcruise.jpg

Excerpt:

Dear Friend of The Nation,Want to learn how to organize your own flash mob from the the experts at CodePink? Or hear about Van Jones' transformative "Rebuild the Dream" project from the man himself? Or talk face to face with Jeremy Scahill about his reporting from Pakistan, Afghanistan and Somalia? You can....on this year's Nation Cruise.

My immediate reaction was to pray:

Dear Lord,
I know it's not worthy (or even particularly Christian), but please make me a weather god with control of the seas for just one day during The Nation Cruise. That way I can improve the human gene pool with just one tsunami. It's for the greater good, Lord, so I know all those on the Niew Amsterdam will understand.
Thank You.

Once I can whip up a small, local tsunami gigantic rogue wave my plan for the second evening's entertainment would be:

Yes, it's sorta wrong, but it's not that wrong.

Posted by Vanderleun at July 16, 2011 1:08 PM
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Comments:

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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Torpedoes! A four fish salvo.

Posted by: Peccable at July 16, 2011 1:47 PM

It's certainly a more robust and distinguished list of attendees than the latest National Review cruise.
Gee, who would I rather have a beer at the bar with? Van Jones, or Victor Davis Hanson?

Posted by: Velociman at July 16, 2011 2:47 PM

Pedantry alert:

The giant wave that capsized the Poseidon had the characteristics of a rogue wave rather than a tsunami.

Yes, I know, the movie mentioned an undersea earthquake, but earthquakes have nothing to do with rogue waves, and earthquake-generated tsunamis are harmless in the open ocean.

Gerard, I approve of your plan. You may wish to get in touch with DARPA (see the above link).

Posted by: rickl at July 16, 2011 3:52 PM

Fucking pedantic commenters. All right, have it your way!

Posted by: vanderleun at July 16, 2011 4:59 PM

Torpedoes? Too quick and merciful. Rogue wave? Sweet thought, but sadly, unreliable.

That there's a ship just a'beggin' for a severe outbreak of Legionaire's Disease. A rather malicious strain thereof, if you please.

Oh, and someone hack into the ship's inventory system, and make sure they don't sail with enough toilet paper? Might not need torpedoes after that.... I think the shipyard might have to tow it back out to sea and scuttle it after a mess like that.

One can but wish, eh?


Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at July 16, 2011 5:27 PM

I hope you are right about there being a very low turnout. Good attendance could cause a concentration of cranial vacuum in one medium-sized ship sufficient to implode it, potentially creating a voracious black hole.

Posted by: sherlock at July 16, 2011 5:47 PM

Hey, I didn't make the connection earlier, but my Wikipedia link included this:

RMS Queen Mary (1942) – broadsided by a 92-foot (28 m) wave and listed briefly about 52 degrees before slowly righting.

In the movie, a model of the Queen Mary was used to represent the Poseidon.

Posted by: rickl at July 16, 2011 6:23 PM

My thoughts were essentially parallel to Jim's: something virulent, contagious, and highly debilitating running rampant among the "progressives" on the cruise. And having lived in the tropics for years, and suffered everything from cyclospora to giardia to e-coli to amoebic dysentery, I can tell you that hacking into the inventory won't be necessary. No matter how much TP they bring, it won't be enough.

Posted by: waltj at July 16, 2011 6:47 PM

If there was ever a time for the Bermuda Triangle to show her stuff...

Posted by: Patvann at July 16, 2011 10:13 PM

My father was on the Queen Mary on the trip where they were struck by the huge wave, but he said it was just the worst incident among days of horrible seas. The conditions he describes with 20K men on board, most of them seasick, were appalling. Normal meal preparation, sleep, and sanitation were impossible.

On entry into Glasgow (?), the men were finally allowed on deck for some fresh air. He says that the RAF did a flyby with some Mosquito bombers, and as the men rushed to the side of the deck nearer the planes for a better view, the damn ship nearly capsized again! He remembers MP's firing tommy-guns into the air to force the men away from the rail.

Posted by: sherlock at July 17, 2011 5:28 AM

My recent experience with waves is that they are quite powerful, whether you are inside ship or on dry ground. A rogue wave washing over a boat with Medea Benjamin and her skanked ilk on it, would improve the smell.

Posted by: Jewel at July 17, 2011 10:36 AM

What will be released by that much stupid concentrated in one small place?

Posted by: Mikey NTH at July 18, 2011 12:55 PM