Real Sociopathic Boys

One of my new and favorite blogs is Sippican Cottage from the once great state of Massachusetts (wherein I lived for four years long, long ago.) The brain in the Sippican Cottage jar seldom fails to disappoint, but this morning -- what with all the meditations on returning to school seen here -- I cannot help but recommend to your attention his recent The Borderline Sociopathic Book For Boys. Samples:

(Since the Dangerous Book for Boys has upped the ante by claiming that learning to play chess makes you a ninja, we'll have to stoke the furnace of hyperbole further to get noticed at this point.)

1. Ride a bicycle without a helmet. You heard me. And no spandex spangled with lavender and chrome yellow blotches and French words. You'll wear canvas shoes, too. You will not have anything with you that people with helmets refer to as "hydration." Eventually, you can get a blast of rubber-tasting hot water from a garden hose.

2. Tell your 5th grade teacher, when she starts in with the Vegan lecture again during a spelling lesson, that you're going to kill and eat your supper as soon as you can get your hands on some weapons. Then inform her that if she gives you anything less than a 'B" on any report card because you told her that, your father will have a phalanx of lawyers turn her life into a deposition purgatory. Then don't pass in any homework for the remainder of the term. Let's see who has the stones.

3. We're playing FOOTBALL, without any equipment but the ball. There are no rules, so this chapter is short. Soccer is Irish stepdancing with a ball introduced. We don't want any of that.

4. We're going out with dad on Earth Day, and we're cutting down a tree with a chainsaw.

Not only is there more, much more at the link, but it has given rise to its own blog: The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boys

Clearly an online educational resource we can all support.

Posted by Vanderleun at August 31, 2007 9:10 AM