If elected I promise to give every American man, woman, and child one million dollars tax free. Plus free parking -- everywhere all the time.
National speed limit: 110MPH.
Economic policy? You break it, you've bought it.
Foreign Policy: You screw with us, even a little, and you are just one flat and glowing squirrel on the vast highway of life. 24 hours, start to finish. That goes for your whole country and your little dog too! I'll make Ivan the Terrible seem like Ivan the Adorable.
When I'm done with all this -- it will take, tops, three weeks -- I'll resign. But I get to keep Air Force One.
Did I mention I'm drafting Sarah Palin as my VP. I am. So relax, you'll be in good, strong hands at last.
Click here for the latest news report on the essential Gerard Van der Leun 2008 Election Coverage
I don't get an American vote but seeings as that doesn't seem to stop the dems registering people...you have my vote.
Posted by: thud at October 10, 2008 4:39 PMDAMN, Ol' Thud beat me to it...
Well, tell you what, ol' buddy, I DO get an American vote, so one of my votes'll count for you, how 'bout that?
What the hell, TWO of my votes'll count for you. Heah come Acorn now, down the block...
Van der Leun/Palin 08!, for as long as it takes!
Posted by: rob at October 10, 2008 4:55 PMI'll vote for you!
Posted by: Alexandra at October 10, 2008 5:10 PMMake it 2 million and you've got my vote.
Now you need a snappy slogan:
Vanderleun. He'll Sing Your Tune.
Gerard. No Retard.
G.V. - Everything For Free.
Shoot the moon with Vanderleun.
Posted by: Cathy at October 10, 2008 5:18 PMBut Cathy, doesn't it rhyme with "loin?"
Posted by: Andy at October 10, 2008 5:34 PMVote Vanderleun!
Chances are good he's not Irish!
Posted by: Hannon at October 10, 2008 5:35 PMDang, Andy.
I was afraid of that.
Hmmmm. Gotta start over.
Posted by: Cathy at October 10, 2008 5:41 PMNo, here in America it rhymes with tune.
No Dutch Transnationalism here.
Posted by: vanderleun at October 10, 2008 7:59 PMAs we see by the video, Gerard has the crucially important "elderly lady with tramp stamp" voting block all.....um....wrapped up.
Those other guys might as well just phone in their concession speeches now.
Posted by: askmom at October 10, 2008 7:59 PM110 MPH Speed Limit. That's like...like no limit at all; I'm in.
Posted by: rexrs at October 10, 2008 8:18 PM..Not Fahn dair Loin after all?
Gee, I was hoping we could go after the Irish vote anyway:
Van der Leun and feelin' foin,
Faith and begorrah and a hot-cha-cha
Sigh.
Oh, well..
Moon, June, Croon, Spoon,
Not no Bama, Vanderleun!
And Palin!
Posted by: rob at October 10, 2008 9:44 PMGet yerself into the third debate and I'll actually watch it.
Posted by: Brett_McS at October 10, 2008 9:59 PMInvisible candidate, invisible voters?
Nah, couldn't be.
Could it?
Posted by: sgi at October 10, 2008 10:06 PMWhat, no whiskey barrel? Something ain't right here...
Posted by: chuck at October 11, 2008 12:40 AMIf you're going to do it right, you outta get to keep Air Force One AND Palin.
Posted by: james wilson at October 11, 2008 7:20 AMCan I be Veep? Its the sweetest job. Nothing to do. I can spend my time drinking myself into insensibility.
Posted by: Fat Man at October 11, 2008 10:20 AMYOU GOT MY 72 VOTES!
(YEAH: I REGISTERED W/ACORN...)
Posted by: reliapundit at October 11, 2008 6:38 PMAnd when your gecko is broken, you have Reptile Dysfunction.
Posted by: Sam Wah at October 17, 2008 10:05 PM"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated to combat spam and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.
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