Make it Go Faster 2

Many in the no-longer-so-loyal opposition to the Obama juggernaut of taking the wrecking ball to the Republic fret about how to slow or stop it. Here's the news: You can't.

There are now so many programs and initiatives in play on so many levels that just keeping up with a fraction of them will have you pointing and clicking 25 hours a day. Frantic and "tryin' to make it in due time / Before the heaven doors close" the current administration of crooks, thugs, liars, leftists, and wreckers are pushing every half-assed social theory into law and policy with no let-up in sight and no quarter given. Add to this a media in love with the easeful death this experimental movement brings, and slobbering over whatever turgid appendage our panty-waist president deigns to offer them daily, and you've got a perfect slow motion storm of legal, moral, and cultural disasters.

Take a hint from Keanu Reeves in Speed above. If you can't stop it, you've got to wreck it.... and to wreck it you've got to "make it go faster." They say their plans for the future of the United States are "better?" Okay, take them at their word. Only faster. Let's see how this stuff plays out in real life. As soon as possible. If they're right, all will be well. If they're not, let's have the disaster now and in double portions.

How to do this? Well, the Swiftian commenter "Joe California Now Joe Florida" has some suggestions. Presenting himself as a retired California civil servant in a discussion following an article called, chillingly, "California Has No Idea How Bad Soaring Oil Is Going To Hurt" , Joe has a plan. Check it out. It's a classic example of how to "Make It Go Faster."

After all, as we used to say in the socialist paradise of Berkeley in the 1960s, "If you're going to have a revolution, you've got to do revolting things." In times like these it's not enough to say "No!" You've got to say, "Go fuck yourselves. Here, let me help."

Joe California Now Joe Florida on Nov 19, 8:24 AM said:

Clearly California needs a plan. As a retired California public employee, let me give some suggestions as I sit on my patio in Florida thinking things over in the calm peaceful morning:

-- Encourage more illegal immigration. Immigrants are a great natural resource, and America became rich and powerful thanks to immigrants. Its true, you haters.

-- Increase taxes. After all, where else are you going to get the money? By cutting spending? Politically, there is nothing left which can be cut.

-- Increase all state employee salaries to six figures. Hear me out on this. First, this will result in top talent applying for these jobs. Second, by increasing salaries across the board, there will be a natural increase in the collectible income tax from these increased salaries. Its like printing money for the state! Third, a higher paid state work force will be a more productive work force. California will get twice the value for each additional dollar it pays to its public servants. I know my former state coworkers. They'll give you more than fair value for each additional buck.

-- Mandate private employer paid health care, pensions, etc. Imagine the talent pool of employees which California would create by making California the Mecca for mandated employer-provided benefits. Where would you rather work, in a state where employers do not have to provide benefits, or where employers are mandated to pay in full for a whole spectrum of employee benefits?

-- Eliminate the death penalty and life terms. These sentences only result in costly appeals. No one wins with these sentences, not the state and not the accused. Let's get the emotionalism out of this equation. The "victim" is entitled to see the accused punished, not persecuted.

-- Ban private schools. The reason why public schools are failing is because too many of the better students have flocked to private schools. As a result, the poorer performing students are deprived of the positive effects from social interaction with academic high achievers. By forcing all students into one system, the entire student body as a whole will be raised up by the inclusion of the high achievers.

-- California Has No Idea How Bad Soaring Oil Is Going To Hurt

These simple measures should pretty much put paid to California at last and not a moment too soon. So I'm with Joe in all of this. Especially since I don't live in California and could turn a pretty penny running a "Welcome to Nevada" T-Shirt stand on the border for all those heading out. For those heading back in? Well, if they're going to Sacramento I could do a land-office business in nooses, pitchforks, incendiary devices, and sharpened pikes for severed heads. Either way, I clean up. Posted by Vanderleun at November 20, 2009 6:57 AM