In the last few days some, but only some, notable Democrat politicians have declined to strap on the Obama Suicide Vest™ above the Pelosi Penis Substitute™ and plunge into the 2010 Electoral Fornication Festival. For Republicans this has caused hope to spring eternal in the middle of this winter of our discontent.
Live in hope. Die in despair....
Top Fox cheerleader Sean Hannity opened his 2010 Conservative Booster Buffet this week with a host of hot hope dishes and the promise of a vast dessert selection come November. According to Hannity, all it's going to take to 'recapture America' is a tsunami of motivated Americans coming out and charging the Democrat controlled polling at full speed. Unarmed.
Not so fast, Speedy. It's not enough for Democrats to decline to run, Republicans have to want to win. I don't know about you but I'm still not getting that pulse-pounding thrill that tells me Republicans are willing to put real skin into the game. After all, Republicans don't seem to be putting any real money into Scott Brown's attempt to gut the Democrats deep inside their Massachusetts citadel this month.
And don't get me started about Michael Steele, the erstwhile leader of the Republicans, and a man whose absence of passion is exceeded only by his continuing descent to the level of a cynical political apparachnick. He's the sort of standard party hack who values this season's invitations to parties more than the historic standards of his party. If Steele is the face of the party the party has no game face.
While Democrats seem determined to drink the Obama Kool Aid in their own private Idaho, they seem just as determined to continue to rig the elections beyond the dreams of avarice in 2010. After all, we should never forget that the lawyer part of the Obamabot had a specialization in voting law; a specialization it's used successfully in every election in which it has been run.
Whenever people like Hannity and others begin to wax wetly about "this is the year of the Republicans," I always think back to my prime axiom when considering the squarest and slowest of those two all-American repositories of all that is vile and crass in our polity:
And you know that they do, don't you?
It's clear to me that the Republicans need to reach deep down into their grassiest of roots and pull a new birth of balls if they are going to prevail in the coming dust-ups. Can they do it? Do they have it in them? I don't see a very deep bench this year. In terms of stars with a national draw I see Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin, and that woman who used to be the governor of Alaska. In politics it is wisely said, "You gotta beat somebody with somebody." Republicans, with very few exceptions, have a lot of nobodies at bat this year and I'm not sure who is in the bull pen.
The blunt fact is that somewhere between Eisenhower and Reagan the Republican Establishment in Washington got comfortable with being losers. It was a smooth gig and let this congressman or that senator gas on from deep within the womb of bland opposition. In the process, they lost the fire in the belly that is the birthright of the demented Democrat. Instead they seem content to mildly oppose instead of actively resist. Today what we witness from the Republican establishment most of the time is a kind of endless re-run of "Waiting for Reagan." They're fiddling with themselves when the country is so on fire for a game-change that Sarah Palin can become the next president without them.
Until then, the best the Republicans can hope for going into this most crucial of all elections in decades is..... "a Bluto moment."
Bluto: What the fuck happened to the Republicans I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest election of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst. "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Reid, he's a dead man! Pelosi, dead! Obama...
Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastard Democrats. Now we could do it with conventional campaigning weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
Bluto: We're just the guys to do it.
D-Day: Let's do it.