July 19, 2014

First World Problems: Feel the Burn!

My maid is cleaning my bathroom, so I can't take a shower
When I do, the water starts getting cold after an hour
I couldn't order off the breakfast menu, cause I slept in till two
Then I filled up on bread, didn't leave any room for tiramisu
Oh no, there's a pixel out in the corner of my laptop screen
I don't have any bills in my wallet small enough for the vending machine
Some idiot just called me up on the phone, what!? Don't they know how to text? OMG!
I got

[Chorus:]
First world, first world problems
(First world problems)
First world, first world problems
(First world problems)
First world, first world problems

[Verse 2:]
I bought too many groceries for my refrigerator
Forgot my gardener's name, I'll have to ask him later
Tried to fast forward commercials, can't - I'm watching live T.V
I'm pretty sure the cookies in this airport lounge ain't gluten free
My barista didn't even bother to make a design in the foam on the top of my vanilla latte

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
Can't remember which car I drove to the mall
My Sonicare won't recharge, now I gotta brush my teeth like a neanderathal
The thread count on these cotton sheets has got me itching
My house is so big, I can't get WiFi in the kitchen
Uh, I had to buy something I didn't even need just
so I could qualify for free shipping on Amazon

Posted by gerardvanderleun at July 19, 2014 4:10 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Not to worry Al, it's soon to be third world problems.

Posted by: Denny at July 19, 2014 4:20 PM

I'm trying to watch all of his new album, but cannot get enough internet speed.

Posted by: Casey Klahn at July 19, 2014 8:06 PM

I remember when he was really funny. Of course I was younger then and had poor taste.

Posted by: chasmatic at July 19, 2014 11:11 PM

I remember when he first came out on the Dr. Demento show.

Now that was some first world entertainment.

Posted by: Bradoplata at July 20, 2014 2:49 AM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated to combat spam and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.










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