Parsing the Wee-Weed-Up Man

Ah, the great orator unleashed at last! A man with a common, perhaps all too common, pattern of speech.

Of course, like most of Obama's bon-mots, it has a distinct flavor of ambiguity to it. To say some one is "wee-weed up" does not tell us the exact state of his or her Washington micturation situation. No, it leaves us in the dark with someone who may well be "wee-weed-up." A dangerous position, you will agree. One in which you would not want to feel a spill going up your leg unless you were Chris Matthews.

And so we have questions of the great and "Linconesque" communicator.

Have the "wee-weed-up" in Washington in fact wee-weed on the President's programs?

If so were they inside the tent wee-weeing out or outside the tent wee-weeing in?

Indeed, if they were "wee-weed-up" does this mean they were full of wee-wee but could not express it, or were they just holding it in waiting for the Obama Health Care Express to pull over to the side of the road?

If, in actual fact, they were able to hold back their wee-wee, at what point did they become wee-wee trained?

During the campaign in one of those dreadful back-of-the-bus toilets?

During those stimulating late night skull sessions guzzling gallon soy lattes and composing the stimulus bill?

Or was it during the first few town halls when advisers deep in the West Wing wee-weed themselves as they realized they had wee-weed off a lot of voters?

And if there was wampent wee-weeing going on, does the TP wee-wee trail lead all the way the Oval office?

What did the president wee-wee and when did he wee-wee it?

While we have no urge to wade deeper into the wee-wee now washing about in the White House, we still feel questions must be asked before the facts are flushed away and guilty hands washed clean. The country cannot afford a Weeweegate.

With so many wee-weeing in so many directions during "August going into September" perhaps West Wing Waincoats are the order of the day. I certainly hope the incontinence of the president's policies has not gone that far. I'd hate to see the dignity of the Oval Office turned in Golden Showers Central with a towel boy at the door.

I don't think it will get that deep. Obama knows better than any other politician of our time, "It is better to be wee-weed off than wee-weed on." He built an entire campaign on that principle.

That still leaves us with the burning question that always comes to mind every time one hears this president speak on-or-off-the-cuff: "Just what the hell did he just say and what the hell did he mean?"

I look for our watchdog media to get on the case and grill Robert Gibbs on the deeper meaning of "Gets all wee-weed up." I know they'd do it for George W. Bush and this president deserves no less.

Until we get that answer, we'll just have to sit here like good little citizens with our legs crossed.

Here's a song by the immortal Abner Jay to help us all rock along the long and wee-weed road. [Click "Play']

Posted by Vanderleun at August 20, 2009 10:23 PM