October 18, 2004

Dear Jon Stewart, I Want You To Be Honest Too

I actually caught Jon Stewart's on-air evisceration of 'Crossfire' last week, and I have to admit I enjoyed the discomfort and confusion he brought to the dual tools of that broadcast. At the same time I also noted what a large, self-impressed tool Stewart has become.

I don't know about you but my gorge rises when a TV personality who's made his bones with long ironic sighs and sideglances starts to speak phrase like "We need you to be honest!" And that was only the center cut from Stewart's Tripe Store. I was especially taken by Stewart's reference to himself as one of the guys who is out "mowing his lawn"" while "Crossfire" fails to protect the Republic. Hey, I need Stewart to be honest. The closest people like Stewart come to mowing their lawn is telling their personal assistant to drive to some Southern California crossroads and hire an illegal alien to work the Weedwhacker.

All of which is why I was pleased to note The Daily Show's ratings were tanking . Not because I don't think Stewart is a funny-enough guy (even if his faux-serious pose is becoming a bit much), but because I think Stewart, like most other celebrities, is far too full of himself for his, or our, good.

But why, you might wonder, would The Daily Show tank? Well, one of my favorite curmudgeons, Uncle Mikey's , got it all figured out:

I just couldn't stand the not-so-veiled implication that I must be a real moron to want to vote for Bush any more, regardless of his and Kerry's relative merits. It's not funny. Stewart pretends to be unbiased in his assaults on the candidates, but he can't hide his distaste for W and his crew, and neither can he hide his admiration for John Kerry. Like the mainstream press, he thinks the 200 Swift Boat Vets for Truth are liars and Republican shills, but Richard Clarke and the nine Swift Vets who support Kerry are honest men who speak their consciences. In short, he's delusional and paddling as hard as he can to get the Kerry boat to the other side of the river, and in that he is no different from Dan Rather and Newsweek editor Evan "the media wants Kerry to win" Thomas. Nobody they know thinks any different from them, so when they encounter those who do, they must be crazy, or stupid, or just mean.
Stewart, like Bill Maher and a hundred other celebs, have seen the "Kerry Wavelet " as a kind of "Come out, come out, wherever you are " yodel for the cosseted intellectually insane "stars" of our besotted media age.

It's as if people like Stewart at MSM and elsewhere have had this secret meeting and decided they can do whatever they want to influence the elections and never have to pay any penalty. After all, why should they? If we take the famous Newsweek editor's admission that the "media" was going to to "put a glow" around Kerry/Edwards that would be worth 15 points, it's pretty clear to see why Stewart, Rather, Springsteen, and all the rest of this cozy little club is in panic mode.

Here they've given their boys a 15 point edge and they're still lagging, and lagging seriously. It's like betting on a shaggy nag in a horse race because you can put the fix in and then standing there and seeing your "sure-thing" horse come out the far turn and into the home stretch with only one leg. That while the cowboy on the Pinto is way out in front and opening up the distance with every stride. Not only is that no way to run a fixed-horse race, but it also seems that there's going to be a price to pay for fixing the race to begin with.

As I alluded to in the brief essay yesterday about "Intelligence" most celebrities seem to have a built-in contempt for the very people that hand our celebrities their wealth and fame. This kind of contempt was once called "noblesse oblige" - the obligation of those of high rank to be honorable and generous, but like everything else with a French connotation this concept has been perverted. In the bald hectoring and pot-kettle-black attacks by people like Stewart on his counterparts at CNN all we can see is an exercise in vaingloriousness that is much more often the mark of these talking heads than anything remotely generous or noble.

Now you might say this is because we've stopped expecting them to be noble and generous, but that doesn't seem to be the case. If the Stewart ratings tank is anything to go by, when a celebrity is seen to betray his bias openly, and when that in turn betrays his his own small-mind, the audience will turn away. Not that Stewart has any real worry about putting food on the table. That's what those guest slots at Las Vegas strip mall casinos are for. And if that fails him, I'm sure he'll be able to find work telling his peers in 2010 how to dial up their perfect sleep number.

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Update: I note a strange sort of Blogsphere mind-meld on the Stewart issue today. Check protein wisdom ; Ghost of a Flea ; Jim Treacher ; Hog on Ice , and INDC Journal. Probably only scratches the surface, but I love it when this sort of thing happens.

Plus: Jeff Goldstein pops in this ancient link from, like last month, Twenty-first in a series of real-time empirical observations and calls it "Related." Whatever happened to the word "prescient?"

Posted by Vanderleun at October 18, 2004 2:19 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

I'm a relatively new reader to this site, but I just wanted to say that *THIS* post is the reason why (IMO) this blog kicks so much @$$. So, thank you, and keep up the good work!!

Posted by: fat kid at October 18, 2004 4:30 PM

One encouraging sign is the paybacks celebrities are getting for slamming their audience -- the Dixie Chicks, Linda Ronstadt, now Jon Stewart. Are there others? I hope a lot more.

Posted by: Bill at October 18, 2004 4:43 PM

They turned SNL's Weekend Update into a nightly show. Stewart replaced Craig Kilborn as host. And if I'm not mistaken, Comedy Central is a Viacom company, and we know what you get with them. And anyway, I've always thought Steven Colbert was the whole show.

Posted by: Johnny Walker Red at October 18, 2004 5:19 PM

I think a lot fo these people think they are here by divine right. And, as the Greeks would often say in their myths, get too pretentious and Zeus will toss a thunderbolt your way.

A lot of these people are in for it. Team America is onlt a taste of the derision to come, methinks.

Posted by: James Hudnall at October 18, 2004 8:17 PM

I agree that there will be a vast reckoning and a large bill to be paid for many of these people.

It is really just a question of when.

Posted by: Van der Leun at October 18, 2004 9:07 PM

Did you guys know TDS isn't a news show? I think I might have read that stunning fact once or twice today.

Posted by: Jim Treacher at October 18, 2004 11:43 PM

Sorry for the double-post, but I second that Colbert emotion. I remember wanting HIM to take over (back when Kilborn destroyed his career the first time), and it's always great when he guest-hosts. It kind of sucks that he's reduced to those crappy Mr. Goodwrench ads, but a man's gotta feed his families.

Posted by: Jim Treacher at October 18, 2004 11:47 PM

First of all, I think I'm going to cry. Gerard, you are my hero, and the reason I started blogging. If I had a black turtleneck on and my hair was slicked back, I'd pull the fabric away from my nipples and say, "I feel just like a little girl!"

Second, Colbert is the whole show, and has managed to stay in the center while he eviscerates everyone in every direction. Truly a professional.

Thanks again, G man. You've made my year.

Posted by: Uncle Mikey at October 19, 2004 8:32 AM

The pleasure is to serve. In a manly way, of course.

Now, go take a cold shower, three qualuddes, a cup of ether, five bong hits, two tabs of windowpane and call me in the morning.

Posted by: Van der Leun at October 19, 2004 10:13 AM

"I don't know about you but my gorge rises when a TV personality who's made his bones with long ironic sighs and sideglances starts to speak phrase like "We need you to be honest!""

I guess you have never seen Stewart do stand-up. Or the Daily Show. Sidelong glances are as much a part of the show as monkeys on tricycles.

And why is it bad for anyone to ask the bickering hosts of Crossfire to be honest?

Posted by: Jim at October 19, 2004 9:18 PM

hey Gerard, you're smart, so why don't you dig up Jon Stewart's tax records? they're not private. check out how much money he claimed on his Schedule C before you post such asinine comments about his financial and social status. I grant you that he probably doesn't mow his lawn. given that he lives in New York, there aren't that many lawns to mow. ask Colin Quinn how much money he's not making. Dave Chappelle is the only winner at Comedy Central.

And so what if celebrities want to speak their minds when they have the forum to do so? They were American citizens before they were celebrities, much as you were a no-name loser before anyone started reading your blog (that's a pretty weak analogy, I know, and not in your favor). It's called freedom of speech. What Jon Stewart did on Crossfire is exactly the same as what you do on your blog, and what I am doing here. The difference is that he had the balls to speak his mind to the faces of those he disagrees with. That's a quality seriously lacking in this world of anonymous bloggers these days.

Grow some.

Posted by: Jake at October 20, 2004 3:46 AM

I apologize for the second post too, and also in the ame of Mr. Colbert.

I love him as much as the next guy (take that however you want, I don't give a f--k), but after he almost sucked on Ralph Nader's tool the last time he guest-hosted, I would have to say that he doesn't "eviscerate in every direction."

but he is truly a professional; a professional actor according to his Mr. Goodwrench credentials.

Posted by: Jake at October 20, 2004 3:52 AM

okay, one more post. specifically to Gerard.

dude, you brought up the whole "French" thing again. How small is your dick... I mean, "litany?"

Posted by: Jake at October 20, 2004 3:57 AM

RE: "The closest people like Stewart come to mowing their lawn is telling their personal assistant to drive to some Southern California crossroads and hire an illegal alien to work the Weedwhacker."

Stewart broadcasts from New York. He tends to keep his BS meter fine tuned and trained on himself, I think.

Posted by: Alex W at October 20, 2004 7:40 AM

Man do you have your head wedged. Trust me. Of course, you repugs think Dennis Miller is funny and Lee Greenwood makes good music.

Posted by: Blue D at October 20, 2004 11:19 AM

"The closest people like Stewart come to mowing their lawn is telling their personal assistant to drive to some Southern California crossroads and hire an illegal alien to work the Weedwhacker."

Wow, you can read minds! Your crystal ball is tuned into the personal lives of celebrities!

Who is it really that's "far too full of himself for his, or our, good," hm? (How many people read your blog? How many people watch "The Daily Show?")

Did you notice that "The Daily Show" is on the Comedy Channel, not a news channel, or that it is rated as an entertainment show and not a news show? Whereas Crossfire is on CNN (one of the N's stands for NEWS), and is rated as news?

I guess not. No one who supports Bush is interested in facts, after all. Only their distorted, twisted, anti-American version of reality.

The truly funny thing is: you neo-con lackwits profess this hatred of Hollywood and celebrities, yet your eyes are glued to the TV in hero-worship nearly every waking hour. Hypocrites all!

"People like Stewart at MSM and elsewhere have had this secret meeting and decided they can do whatever they want to influence the elections and never have to pay any penalty" - laugable, pure comedy, and total hypocrisy. First of all, influencing the election is called "democracy," and were you not an anti-freedom dolt you'd understand. Secondly, you're a Bush supporter whose bent out of shape about secret meetings? Again, look up hypocrite, but don't be surprised to find yourself depicted.

Again, Bush supporters are clearly not interested in debate, facts or truth. Most of you would be happy with a Bush-led dictatorship: it is the idea of opposition that offends you. You hate democracy because it gives you a chance to lose, especially if your ideas aren't worthy. Better that the opposition just SHUT UP (as your celebrity hero O'Reilly would say) and quit arguing with people who are so convinced of their own rightness.

What Stewart had to say is of no concern to you. It's of no concern to you, even though while Clinton was President the only thing Republicans could talk about - between bouts of depression that the President got more nookie than they did - was media bias. The bias you whined about was purportedly liberal - now when that bias is in your favor, you have no issue with it.

Stewart implored these self-important NEWS figues to be better than him - but they are not, and they admit as much. Why should we care about fairness when you don't? appears to be their claim.

It is the defense of all you Bush supporters: whay care about Bush lies when Clinton lied too?

You are without worth. Those who think this blog "kicks ass" are simple-minded monkey-men such as yourself.

A vote for Bush is a vote against America.

Posted by: cal godot at October 20, 2004 11:27 AM

Of course you know that because you... ?

It is the case, it really is the case, that in today's world there are multiple means of getting information into your head. You can try cable, wireless internet, all sorts of things. It is no longer necessary to wrap tin-foil around your rabbit ears and attach the wires to your fillings. Trust me on this.

As for Mr.Stewart's income, I think it is safe to say that with a daily show that carries the comedy network plus a best-selling book, his gross income for the next few years will be well into 7 figures.

Even money that his advance for the book was well into the 7 figures alone. This is something I know about. Up close and personal.

Posted by: Van der Leun at October 20, 2004 11:30 AM

"Did you notice that "The Daily Show" is on the Comedy Channel, not a news channel, or that it is rated as an entertainment show and not a news show? Whereas Crossfire is on CNN (one of the N's stands for NEWS), and is rated as news?"

I see that you tend to believe everything you read. Is the argument then that because it is called a "comedy show" it gets a pass? But it is not what something is called but what it is. TDS gets a lot of milage out of the fact that it does deal in news. In fact, a lot of writing and observation about the show is that it is a prime source of 'news' for a certain young demographic. (I assume from your tone that you are, alas, very young and still gullible.) Hence it has it "both ways." Indeed, this was Stewart's cop-out when he pulled the CNN stunt. "Hey, I'm just, just a plain old comedy show, so don't pick on me."

Mon cher Cal, let me tell you something that has escaped your notice: "People on television are 'pretending.' They are always pretending. It is a place that everyone plays 'Let's pretend." News, views, blues, booze, shows, everything is pretend for the camera.

As someone wiser to the game than you are once said, "Once you can fake sincerity, the rest is easy."

That's what's happening here. Stewart has a book out, he's got a show in the tank, he's looking for a bigger paycheck... easy answer is to go out and create some buzz. The "unexpected hostile guest/interviewer catching the other off balance" is the oldest trick in the book. I've used it and it has been used on me.

You really need to understand the world before you just accept what you see on television.

Posted by: Van der Leun at October 20, 2004 11:38 AM

"As for Mr.Stewart's income, I think it is safe to say that with a daily show that carries the comedy network plus a best-selling book, his gross income for the next few years will be well into 7 figures."

But again, you are not interested in any facts. Just what you assume to be true. And your assu,ption reveals so much about your personality your small life, your tiny narrow mind...

"Even money that his advance for the book was well into the 7 figures alone. This is something I know about. Up close and personal."

Anyone can lie, you know? If you know so much, tell us the proportioanl cuts received by Stewart's agent, manager, accountant, and others of his *personal* employment.

Can you provide any evidence or proof of anything you say? You don't even provide a source for the "tanking" ratings - just a link to Drudge.

You know nothing. Just another pitiful Republican celebrity worshipper, eyes glued to the TV like it's a religion or something. One of those guys who likes to complain "nobody cares what celebrities think," without noting that he cares or else he wouldn't be whining about it.

Either you are a hypocrite or entirely without self-awareness. (Or maybe both.) You're definitely "truth-challenged" (my nice word these days for "liar"). Perfect personality traits for a Bush supporter!

Posted by: cal godot at October 20, 2004 11:45 AM

Mr. Stewart brought up some good points about the meida today and it's effect on the election process. He was trying to do everyone a service by calling the hosts of crossfire on their disservive, and your only complaint is that he's wealthy?

He didn't bring up the fact that he was voting democrat on the show, one of the interviewers asked him, and you hold it against him for answering the question straightforward. I'm sure however that had Stewart not said who he was going to vote for, you would have been just as damning in your opinion of him for "trying to maintain the appearance of being neutral".

If you want to vote republican, that's cool; however when your standard of who is a trustworthy person falls along what political party they support, and what income bracket they belong to, all you're doing is cutting yourself off from a large group of people, who like yourself, bring an opinion to the table that is sometimes informed, and sometimes worth debating.

Posted by: colin at October 20, 2004 12:25 PM

This may sound crazy to Republicans, but how about some actual FACTS to back up your inane comments? TDS has been in repeats for the past week or so after their debate coverage, so if this is what you call "tanking" since the CNN appearance, I'd have to say that's not a very accurate assessment. And if anybody thinks Jon is trying to further his career, get press for the new book, etc., maybe you should actually watch the show and see that 1) he's humble (almost frustratingly so, for such a smart, talented man), 2) he hasn't even made mention of the CNN appearance as of yet (so how's that for publicity?) and 3) it IS a comedy show. What's really sad is that the mainstream media is so untrustworthy and out of touch that the youth of America would rather get their "news" from a comedy show than CNN.

Posted by: Julie at October 20, 2004 1:02 PM

The point is that your comrade Stewart is so rich that he's out of touch with what real Americans care about. Namely patriotism terrorism and lowering our taxes. He's rich so he can afford to pay lots of extra taxes. Now Bush is rich too, but he's a humble guy who cares about regular Americans not a smartass like that leftist Stewart.

Posted by: Floyd Jackson at October 20, 2004 1:04 PM

America
First printing: 700,000 copies

USATODAY.com - Stewart's 'America' offers textbook laughs

Cover price: 24.95

Number one on NYT Best Seller List
Number one on Amazon
Number two at Barnes and Noble

All of which tend to say that they'll blow right through 700,000 copies.

So let's just say net sales of 700,000 copies hardcover.

700,000
x
24.95
x 15%
----------
2,619,750 Gross Royalties

A sale this large would mean, should the publisher wish to auction the paperback rights, that the paperback rights would go for something in the region of $4,000,000 of which Stewart and company (agents co-authors) would receive 50%

Total gross proceeds from America would then be somewhere around
$4, 619, 750

before English language rights, film, tv , translation and other rights.

A hit of this magnitude also brings the sales of his previous books back up so you can look for several hundred thousand of money to Stewart coming in that door.

As I said, he's got "Millions" of reasons to push his little concerned grass-mowing American routine and keep the gravy train rolling.

As for what he makes as host of The Daily Show, I'd be surprised if his agent let him walk on the set for less than $500,000 per annum.

Posted by: Van der Leun at October 20, 2004 1:45 PM

" 1) he's humble (almost frustratingly so, for such a smart, talented man), 2) he hasn't even made mention of the CNN appearance as of yet (so how's that for publicity?) and 3) it IS a comedy show. "

Like I said before, "Once you can fake sincerity, the rest is easy." Please, my son, hear this now or hear it later. There is no such thing as a "humble" television or film personality. If they were humble they'd be in shoe repair. Just because you buy the act doesn't make it less of an act.

2) He's a smart man. He *knows* he doesn't have to mention the CNN thing because everyone else is doing it for him. D'oh.

3) It *is* a comedy show and it *is not* a comedy show. That's their scam. They want to have it both ways and, evidently, with credulous viewers like you they are succeeding.

Posted by: Van der Leun at October 20, 2004 1:49 PM

Even though you said "people" like Jon Stewart, meaning celebrities, Stewart actaully lives in NY. So I don't think his assistant will be "driving Southern California" anytime soon for a weedwhacker. So please be more accurate in your smear attempts...

What he was trying to say in his appearance on the show, and what the audience and "hosts" failed to get, was that HIS show is comedy and theirs is supposed to be a news program. While The Daily Show reports on news events and makes fun of those involved, Crossfire has the opportunity to tell the American public that our politicians are not telling the entire truth. Instead of parroting what the politicos say, Stewart is pleading with them to actually use their show to call out these people and get them to be truthful with us.

It didn't seem that hard to understand, but the hosts of Crossfire would rather dog a person "reporting" news on a satirical new show than admiting their faults and doing their jobs (sounds like a certain president I'm sure we all know).

Posted by: Michael at October 20, 2004 2:32 PM

Bill Clinton?

Posted by: Van der Leun at October 20, 2004 2:40 PM

On Jon Stewart's yearly salary: "E! Online News - This Just In...Jon Stewart a Dad!
In May, Stewart agreed to a four-year contract extension at Comedy Central that will keep him anchoring the mock newscast through 2008.

"A lot of people like to get out when their show's still going well," Stewart said in a statement. "This gives me the opportunity to beat this thing into the ground."

For his efforts, Stewart will reportedly receive a raise upping his current $1.5 million salary, which will buy plenty of Pampers."

Posted by: Van der Leun at October 20, 2004 3:10 PM

Green with envy?

Posted by: princehal at October 25, 2004 11:27 AM