February 2, 2011

Camels? WTF? Camels?

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Supporters of President Hosni Mubarak, riding camels and horses, fight with anti-Mubarak protesters in Cairo Wednesday. Several thousand Mubarak supporters, including some riding horses and camels and wielding whips, clashed with anti-government protesters as Egypt's upheaval took a dangerous new turn.

"Yo, Hassam, somebody's gotta remind the Bedouin of the deal. We were supposed to have a deal with the Bedouin. It was supposed to be, "Hey, you want to ride around on that flatulence factory and whip people on the ground, okay, but you do it out in the desert, and keep it in the family. Okay? Got it?

"What you don't do is ride those stinky, honking, off-brand, SUV-sized version of cranky horses into the friggin' city, and start whaling on everybody's ass. It just looks bad, not to say smells bad. It's not stylin' and it definitely ain't lowriding. You feel me?

"I mean, here I am -- an educated, mild-mannered Egypster trying to get my democracy on in the square with my homies. We're rolling around with some signs and some chants and a few dummies of that Mubarak geezer hanging around as lamp post decorations, and then he sends in his Bedouins, puts camels in the mix, and gets all medieval on my ass?

"Dude, that is not how things go down in the Twitterverse. I'm supposed to #hashtag my way to freedom and "friend" my way to democracy. Didn't that B. Hussain O. guy in the belly of the Great Satan just say, “It is my belief that an orderly transition must be meaningful, it must be peaceful and it must begin now.” Didn't these camel jockey's get the memo? I mean whips, razors, and friggin' machetes? I don't know what either side has in mind, but I'm beginning to think it won't look like the 21st century when it's over.

"And camels. Camels? I bet they don't have any Bedouin riding camels into DC and whipping people. If they did, they'd be shot off the hump in a nano-second.

"Camels. Makes me want to swap this SmartPhone for a shotgun. Makes me sorry I forgot to shop when I had a chance."

Posted by Vanderleun at February 2, 2011 5:41 PM
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Split my sides when I saw this real-time on TV earlier, but your take on it did my bladder.

This farce has now gone beyond parody. The end of the world to the Twitter of whirling dervishes, the Three Horses of the Apocalypse and a farting camel. Even Nostradamus missed this chapter.

Posted by: Frank P at February 2, 2011 6:31 PM

Seriously FUNNY!!

Posted by: Fausta at February 2, 2011 7:05 PM

Actually very funny, Gerard.

Have you ever ridden a camel? I did. Once and only once. In a little village outside Jerusalem. My daughter talked me into it for copious laughs at my expense. She was not disappointed, though I wasn't a bit amused and couldn't wait to get down off the beast while all the Beduoin-type men stood around laughing, drinking strong Turkish coffee and smoking homemade cigarettes.

These creatures are like not shaggy horses. They're much worse, more like big ill-tempered moose that spit. They smell like they've been around for a thousand years.

When I see those camels running through Cairo today, I gotta wonder where all this revolution stuff is gonna end for Egypt...and I have to say, I have my doubts, I have my doubts. And I hope I' wrong....

Posted by: Webutante at February 2, 2011 7:55 PM

Egypster?
snicker

Posted by: David McKinnis at February 2, 2011 9:31 PM

Oh, all sorts of Heh in this!

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at February 3, 2011 3:45 AM

Read the price of gas is pretty high there too. Looks like a good option to me.

Posted by: Cilla Mitchell, Galveston Texas at February 3, 2011 4:19 AM

Calling Harrison Ford. If he's not too old to be dodging Russkie bullets in a warehouse then he's good enough for a remake of the Cairo market scene.

Posted by: Fearless Ferenc at February 3, 2011 6:44 AM

I bet the guy on top of that camel would make an awfully good target for a brick.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at February 3, 2011 6:44 AM

Remember, these are really 6th century savages outfitted with 21st century technology.

Posted by: Hangtown Bob at February 3, 2011 6:48 AM

"And camels. Camels? I bet they don't have any Bedouin riding camels into DC and whipping people. If they did, they'd be shot off the hump in a nano-second."

Gerard said "hump."

Posted by: MOTUS at February 3, 2011 8:24 AM

Jihad is hump of Islam...and Islam wants to hump us very much.

Posted by: Rich Fader at February 3, 2011 10:13 AM