There's an old hoax concerning Eskimos and their hundreds of words for snow. Like all good hoaxes it sounds right, especially to those who don't know much about the Inuit. But it still is wrong. It is a myth.
I am, however, undaunted by the failure of the Inuit. I am working on compiling hundreds of words for rain. All derived from careful and miserable observation here in Seattle. Especially in light of the severe snow pasting received yesterday which is today followed up by the latest variation of snorain, a variation so unique that it calls out for its own word.
My newest word is "Hailush." This is a fat blob of moisture that contains all the qualities of hail and slush at the moment it strikes you right between the eyes. Think of a "Hailush" storm as thousands of wet melting snowballs about a quarter of an inch in diameter pelting you without mercy. That's "Hailush" -- pronounced "hail - ooosh." (Rhymes with "WTF?!")
The closest relative to Hailush in literature is, of course, "Ooblek" from the Dr. Seuss classic "Bartholomew and the Oobleck."
Oobleck does share some of the properties of Hailush. As we learn in the sacred text of Dr. Seuss, Oobleck
"Won't look like rain.
Won't look like snow.
Won't look like sleet.
That's all we know."
Well, I'm here to tell you that Oobleck, once you drift its properties down close to freezing, looks and feels a lot like Hailush.
Now you might think Hailush, like Oobleck, is a myth. But I'm here to tell you that the only myth currently on display here in Seattle is the Myth of Global Warming. And yes, my little Gore-Aid drinkers, I recognize that one winter doth not make a trend. But until your "settled science" is a bit more settled, would you please stop sending your brainwashed children around to my door collecting signatures and donations to the frigtarded Sierra Club so that we can save the planet? There's been three in the past month.
The next one to ring the bell is going to get a pail full of Hailush!
In an article today about the tribulations of the rich,Beverly Hills pawnshops snap up artwork, Rolexes, we read this teasing morsel:
"Well, I had the last sale yesterday and the buyer was Michael Jackson," said Iranian-born David Delijani, owner of European Fine Antiques.End of information.
"His agent came here about a month ago and he lied to me, he said that he was a business man in construction and asked me to take some pictures here.
"Yesterday he came back to explain the situation and he told me: 'I'm with my celebrity, he's waiting into the car, next door', and in less than five minutes Michael Jackson arrived with two bodyguards, a little boy," Delijani said.
Reminds me of William Burrough's crack in The Yage Letters, "In Uraguay, I travelled light. Just a toothbrush and a little boy."
If this keeps up the Sulzberger family may have to buy it back. If they have any cash left behind the sofa cushions.
I track about 300 blogs a day via Google Reader (If you don't have it, get it.) using a customized interface. Most of the time, items that I think are worthy or interesting are posted in the ReadRight sidebar. Today, my capture buffer overfloweth... hence the following.
"Said Interregnum, which we are of course still in, has been a period of global monotonic decline in official authority. As in the late Roman period, declining official authority, declining personal morality, and increasing public bureaucracy are observed in synchrony. This is not in any way a coincidence. The combination is an infallible symptom of the great terminal disease of the polity - leftism. Leftism is cancer. At least in its present adult, sclerotic and non-fulminating form, it is extremely slow in its progress, but the end is not in doubt."- Unqualified Reservations: Patchwork: a positive vision (part 1)
Morning and mourning afterthoughts are filling up the "Newest" category @ Some Ecards
It would seem that some people just don't know the difference between November and January:
Perhaps George Bush, as a parting gift to an ungrateful nation, could remind them.
HT: Dan Friedman
In the meantime, proof again of the old French maxim: "Never a rose without a thorn."
(With a surprise guest, Bullwinkle the Moose)
Here's yet one more way airlines are diddling with your comfort and your life in order to pinch the very last farthing from your fare:Pilots Say Airlines Are Cutting Fuel Levels Dangerously LowContinued...
Forgotten Readers of the Seattle Times
The "team" responsible for tossing litter onto my lawn every so often grew smaller today. Seattle Times to Cut Approximately 200 Employees via The Stranger "Seattle's Only Newspaper"
A memo just promulgated onto the web by the odious "Stranger" details the reasons for the mass sackings -- 45 from the newsroom. [Full text after the jump] The money shot is right up on top withContinued...
THE BULLSHIT BEHIND BIOFUEL: Smithsonian Magazine -- Who's Fueling Whom? "There are more than 200 million cars and light trucks on American roads, meaning they would require two billion acres' worth of corn a year (if they actually used only 50 gallons a month). The country has only about 800 million acres of potential farmland."