That "Deer-in-the-Headlights" Look
Former comedian Margaret Cho has been gratifying her need for attention between her once a decade TV specials, with what can be, I suppose, called a "blog." It's more like one of those LiveJournal Pages one reads where a young girl's angst over life with a big L turns against her and leads to entires referencing her “incineration of beloved Teddy Bears,” the “evil boyfriend/girlfriend,” her “struggle against bulemia,” her “multiple facial piercings,” and then “puppy strangulation” just before the page goes ominously silent.
Alas, silence is not Ms. Cho's problem -- although it could be her solution. Be warned that visiting her page can be as addictive as watching paint flake off the wall, or people check into a detox clinic after going one toke over the line on the neighborhood crack bong.
Today, Ms. Cho has chosen to share with us her uncut mental video tape on the subject of Columbus. She's obviously done a lot of 'original research:
I have been to that island [Where Columbus landed], and will never return, because there is not a moment where I don't feel the pain and the madness, because the ground is soaked with blood, the air is angry and whips around me like a howling ghost, the rain comes down hard to wash the memory of the dead away, but they cannot leave, because the original owners of the property have yet to receive payment even after the FINAL NOTICE remains long overdue. They rage at me, for they can see I know better, that I know to not go there, not to walk over the silver coins scattered on the ground, the Monopoly money left by the crew of the Chris and the Round World Posse, an injurious insult to the body count that can never be tallied because it is too high. Margaret Cho BLOGWhew! A normal person might assume that Ms. Cho is diving into the Betty Ford before signing a five year contract with Hollywood Squares. But we see it differently.
It is clear to us that Ms. Cho is channeling the late William Burroughs.
Burroughs perfected the writing technique of cutting up newspapers, pasting the strips back in random order, and recording what these prophecies of our modern era told him.
Ms. Cho has taken Burroughs’ technique one step further by eliminating the newspaper and just cutting her mind into strips, hitting the randomize button on her history filter, and spewing the result directly into the web. A brilliant innovation sure to be copied by many in the very near future.
When it is, we hope that many will take the opportunity of reminding Ms. Cho that, while it is okay to emulate dead junkies like William Burroughs, the blatant rip-off of Dennis Miller's rants using leftist lingo tilted far into the fourth dimension while dressed in an Emelda Marcos fright wig is not going to make her the Whoopi Goldberg of the 21st century any time soon.
Of course that's just my opinion. I could be right.
Posted by Vanderleun at October 13, 2003 8:39 AM