Kids can be so cruel. Especially those kids in the cool kids' clique. Once they decide that somebody who was cool once is cool no more, there's no limit to what they'll do to get that person out of the clique. They'll shun her, they'll rank on her, they'll make fun of her pants suits, they'll even call her the baddest bad name they can think of -- "Racist."
Hillary was a cool kid once, but now she's cool no more. What made her cool -- "She's a chick running for class President! How cool is that?!" -- has been trumped by the coolest Democrat cool of all -- "He's a black guy running for class President! Dude!" You can't get cooler than that. There is no American cool cooler than black cool, especially if it shows up in sharp suits and talks smooth with only a soupcon of ghetto speak.
Obama is now the coolest kid in the Democrat clique. The clique, as cliques will, wants Hillary to butt out and just let him be Class President. They want her out before Democrat High gets together in the Denver gym to nominate their President.
After all, when everybody who's currently playing at Democrat politics was playing at high school politics popularity was always trumping real elections, real nominations. Why actually finish the race? It will only, so the polls say, underscore the real popularity and base that Hillary's won. It will only point up the deepening flaws in the Obama run. How uncool is that?
So Hillary should just realize she's now uncool and, well, "Just fuck off girlfriend!" She needs to get out before the cool kids have to do the really bad thing -- slap her with the Racist paddle, cover her with tar and feathers and ride her out of town on a rail. They're warming up the tar. It's at the melting point now. You can see the Racism paddle being dipped in the pot. Here comes the big smear. It's gonna leave a mark.
Before the weekend, the cool kids were muttering about the big smear hoping she'd get the hint. But over the weekend, the cool kids' columnists were starting to slap on the tar in editorial after editorial around Democrat High. What was merely whispered last week has turned into the full throated wail of "Racist!" The hue and cry will only increase as the days drag on.
What last week was a Democrat "dog-pile on the chick" is about to turn into a full-bore gang-bang on the pool table. Those little interludes are never pretty. And there will be video tape.
I've got no love for Hillary, but I hate to see the once coolest of cool Democrats getting pantsed and molested in public by all the cool clique's columnist kids now that they've been told that the black guy is cooler than the white chick.
And he is cooler than the chick. He's cooler because (and this is very cool indeed, if hard to follow) -- the black guy "isn't really black," and the race "isn't really about race."
I'd thought I'd seen the very best that the Democrats could do in their ability to make a Fantasy Island out of sheer lumps of highly compressed bullshit, but this one trumps them all:
"Black isn't black and the race isn't about race -- except when it allows us to have a 'national conversation about race,' which it turns out we won't be having, since to have that conversation means we'll have to admit that the Democrat candidate is black. Which he isn't. Because we say so. Get it? Or are you just another Racist?"
You've got to admit that is some superfine gold-plated bullshit. You've got to be in awe of its sheer audacity. You've got to be gobstopped at this concept that goes far, far beyond the human mind's capacity to boggle. You've just got to step back, see the whole pile gleaming in the sun and say, "Wow, pure unadulterated Democrat drool in a solid state!"
More to the point, it's working. Amazing as it may seem, many Democrats are actually feasting on this steaming and reeking Jello pie and saying it is "lip-smacking good! Pass the catsup!"
To dredge these ideas up out of the night-soil compost heap of decrepit ideologies, and then sell it to all the Democrats, is the coolest bit of race hustling done to date by any Americans. But the cool kids' clique of the Dems has done it and, no surprise, lots of Democrats are coming back for seconds. and demanding a doggie bag to boot.
The coolest thing of all is that the black guy has served this up to the Dems by seeming not to touch it at all; by not even going into the diner that he now owns. That's because the black guy is more than just cool, he's really smart. He knows how dumb the Democrats, white and black, really are. He knows that the best way to get all the cool kids to say "the race is not about race" is for him say that "the race is about race."
Yes, he's just that cool when it comes to manipulating people who religiously believe in deeply stupid ideas. He didn't sit in those church pews listening to his pastor suck money out of the credulous for 20 years for nothing. Black Liberation Theology's got nothing on Black Empowerment Theology. Where the former raises thousands the latter rakes in millions. Can you say "ka-ching!?"
You see, the black guy has made a careful study of the cool Democrats, especially the white ones. He knows to a certainty that they will do anything and pay anything, absolutely anything, to keep anyone anywhere at any time from thinking they even think about race. Unless....
Unless the cool kids decide that they want the chick to stop running for President so the black guy can look like a full-scale, wall-to-wall winner. Then it's full-speed ahead on discovering the one thing that, less than a year ago, nobody thought they could ever discover about the chick who is the wife of the first sort-of-black president -- that deep down she's a racist. Which, as of this week, she is.
America, meet Hillary Legree: pants-suited slave owner, black baby torturer, sell-them-down-the-river racist. Who... just... won't... quit!
The revelation of Hillary's racism is probably stunning to the chick and her boyfriend Bill. After all, they rose to power by being the coolest kids in the cool kids' clique. They were hip, they were beyond liberal, they were the first to insist that liberals drop that moniker and call themselves "Progressives." Bill even played the saxophone! In shades! How cool was that?
Not, as it turns out, cool enough. Not cool enough because, deep down, even though Hillary was a chick, she was retroactively not black. That "black President" stuff was just an honorarium. And Hillary also forgot "the secret deal."
When the cool kids' clique was just starting, it was too small and too uncool to be the top clique. So, just like marriages have secret unspoken and unwritten deals, the cool kids' clique long ago made a deal with the black kids in the clique. The deal was that once a black kid in the clique became both cool and smooth it was his turn to be President of the cool kids' clique.
The white kids all thought that a cool and smooth black kid was very unlikely so that was cool with them. What they forgot about was the second part of the secret rule. A part so secret that the cool black kids didn't really ever get around to telling it to the cool white kids. There's a lot of that kind of shit that goes on in bad marriages and bad high schools.
The secret part of the secret rule that was never written down, and never even talked about, was that if a black kid came along that was indeed both cool and smooth and that black kid didn't get to be President, all the black kids in the cool kids' clique were going to get together in their own clique and beat up the cool white kids and then burn down the clique's club house with the white kids inside. And if there's one thing that all the cool white kids in the Democrat cool kids' clique are afraid of, it's the black kids in the clique.
So, just like in a lot of high schools around the country, if the cool white kids don't roll over for the cool black kids, the black kids will -- in a manner of speaking -- bust such a cap in the ass of the white kids that there won't be a cool kids' clique. There may not even be a high-school. Which would be, well, very uncool indeed. Not even the white chick wants that. Or does she?
Which brings us to the hot action to expect this week's episode of "Fast Times at Democrat High" which will be titled "Bitch Slapping the Bimbo."
The plot line this week will be to get the white chick's head on straight and attitude adjusted. The narrative will be: "Unless the white chick wants to go down in history as a certified racist, she needs to just step off." (Being branded as a racist doesn't help you if you want to continue to be a Senator from New York, does it?)
Right now all the white chick is doing is screwing up the cool kids' clique and plans for prom night. She's making the rest of the country think that, at the end of the day, this particular cool and smooth Democrat black kid might not be cool enough for class President; that he might just be a slicker version of Al Sharpton in a more expensive suit who can, if he has to, talk like JFK.
That wouldn't be cool because it might just cause the white Principal to get elected President of the whole damn high-school. This would piss off the black kids everywhere to no end. They might threaten to bust a cap in everybody's ass in cities around the country. Can't have that. And even if the black guy won, you'd have people driving their hybrids around the country with bumper stickers that said: "Extorted Not Elected." Uncool.
It's better all around, all the cool kids in the clique say, for the white chick to lie down, close her eyes, and think of Democrats. Yes, it's time to "take one for the team." Why not? She's going to get screwed either way.Posted by Vanderleun at May 12, 2008 6:27 AM