February 6, 2013

The U.S. Postal "Service": How It Works in the 21st Century

[ At last I'm getting Saturdays off!: Postal Service to Cut Saturday Mail Whew! Just in time.]

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1. Somewhere in this great land a concerned and responsible corporation is having their twice weekly colorful and compelling advertising supplement printed on 100% recycled paper.

2. As soon as they are completed millions of these colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements are shipped by truck to the various regional receiving centers of the U. S. Post Office.

3. From those centers, any number of allocated pallets of these colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements are broken out, put on U.S. post office trucks and delivered to local postal carrier destinations inside Seattle.

4. My postal carrier and hundreds of others report for work at local postal carrier centers throughout Seattle, and load up their vans with enough of these colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements to deliver one or more to each and every house on their route.

5. My very polite postal carrier parks her van at the end of my block and loads her sack with these colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements.

6. She comes up my walk, up the porch stairs, and deposits my full share of these colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements into my mailbox with a clang every day between one and three in the afternoon.

7. Hearing the clang I wend my weary way to the front door and open my mailbox and pluck out said colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements.

8. With a sigh I go back in, trudge through my house, out my back door to the alley, and place the colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements into my Recycling bin.

9. Tomorrow the huge, lumbering Seattle Recycling garbage truck will stop and empty my Recycling bin into its maw and haul what is in it off to the Seattle Recycling center.

10. The collected colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements will then be shipped, by truck, to the center for turning recyclable paper into..... recycled paper which will then be used by a concerned and responsible corporation for their twice weekly colorful and compelling advertising supplements printed on 100% recycled paper.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Next year postage will increase because the U.S. Postal "Service" will need more money to keep this thing going.



On the other hand.... why bother?

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"A rural mailman travels up a creek bed toward Morris Fork near Jackson, Ky., in August 1940.; K. Ng rides a Segway on his mail route in July 2002 in San Francisco."

Posted by Vanderleun at February 6, 2013 12:42 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

"Do you know that all great spurts in...progress came just after some unorthodox ideas or exotic impressions had penetrated into a closed system?" -- Anatol Rapoport
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As a matter of fact, I do in fact not know that.

And I ain't talkin' no philosophic obfuscation (wittingly or not).

As far as the exception proves the rule, when the exceptions aren't found but instead leap at the throat of logic, with rapier ready, as has been for years, I rejoice in wisdom.

As have others.


Posted by: NotQuiteunBuckley at July 5, 2011 11:40 PM

You recycle that stuff? We just throw it away. Should I feel guilty or something?

Posted by: Jewel at July 6, 2011 12:10 AM

I’m reminded about the story Reagan used to tell about the Soviet factory that processed iron ingots into pellets which were loaded onto rail cars and shipped to a Soviet foundry where they were melted down and forged into ingots. The ingots were then loaded onto rail cars and shipped to the Soviet factory that processed iron ingots into pellets.

Full employment, don’t you see?

Posted by: gedaliya at July 6, 2011 4:03 AM

Jewel: I do not recycle that shit either. I wipe my ass with it to make sure it doesn't have a prayer in hell of ever seen the light of day again.

As a matter of fact, I do not recycle anything or think green. I believe I did enough for mankind by not propagating.

Posted by: Cilla Mitchell, Galveston Texas at July 6, 2011 4:49 AM

Cilla, If all conservatives had at least five children and raised them right we'd own the world in two generations.

I too scoff at the recycling hysteria and don't do it on principle. I tell the envirotards that it's All going to be recycled in 4.5 billion years anyhow-by the Sun.

Posted by: John Hinds at July 6, 2011 6:14 AM

Cilla, you wipe your ass with that stuff? We just throw ours away.

I had four girls, John. I'm conservative. I pray you are right.

Posted by: Jewel at July 6, 2011 8:37 AM

I was raised in Seattle during the 50s and 60s where my father was a "career" letter carrier. Each election he would rave at the Republicans (they're for the rich) and vote for the Dems who always promissed big benefits and raises. I remember sitting through his lectures about how unfair it was that the police and the firemen made more money than him.

I loved him dearly but even when I was very young I could see through the greed of the regressives and the covetous power they hold over men who are not necessarily stupid, but unwise and uneducated.

The love of money truly is the root of all evil.

Posted by: Denny at July 6, 2011 10:29 AM

I would be fine if they cut deliveries to three days a week. All I ever get is bills and junk mail.

Posted by: Fat Man at July 6, 2011 1:43 PM

I once brought up this issue of all the adverts jammed into my mailbox every day with the carrier and he said that it is the sacred privilege of these companies to do this. The USPS must oblige them.

So I said, "If I want to put flyers advertising packets of laundry lint into each mailbox at the post office every day for the next 30 years, I would have that same privilege?" He said "Yes, you would".

"Is there any way for me to place a stop order to have the USPS stop putting this crap in my mailbox?" Nope.

This is a good example of what happens when a population turns to a craven desire for placid, worry-free comfort above all else. They will hand over their rights and remain oblivious to the trespasses against them.

Posted by: Hannon at July 6, 2011 7:08 PM

Denny, You are a cocksucker. And I mean that in the most offensive way possible.

Posted by: Chris K at July 7, 2011 8:16 AM

You do not have the faintest idea of what my relationship with my father was, how he changed, and what I think of him today.

A venomous presuming snake such as you needs a cage and a handler.

Posted by: Denny at July 7, 2011 3:04 PM

"Why must there always be fightin' and killin'? Why cain't thar be peace in the valley?"

Posted by: vanderleun at July 7, 2011 4:31 PM

Money is no more at the root of all evil than poverty ever was. Love of someone else's money might be.

Posted by: james wilson at July 8, 2011 6:55 AM

I always thought evil was the root of all evil. Maybe I'm wrong...

Posted by: Former Lurker at February 6, 2013 8:20 AM

Sounds like Denny's Dad was just envious of the pay of the police and firemen. So it's really envy.

Come to think of it, most of the Leftist critique of pretty much everything comes down to envy.

Don't see that changing anytime soon.

Posted by: Eric Blair at February 6, 2013 9:16 AM

Well, this is dandy news!

I was never that bothered by the "junk" mail, the colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements, hell, a number of them I even solicited through purchases from the various establishments which sent them.

What I am bothered by is that my First Class Mail and Priority Mail subsidized the mailing of these colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements.

In my view, the colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements should subsidize the mailing of First Class and Priority Mail letters, not the other way around.

With this change, we will receive all the same amount of colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements but over the course of five days not six.

If colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements were mailed at the First Class or Priority Mail rate, there would be fewer duplicates sent, the companies would be less promiscuous in the sending and we'd still, perhaps, have six-day a week delivery.

Gee, if five-day-a-week delivery of colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements and First Class and Priority Mail will make the United States Postal Service more profitable (or simply, profitable) then why stop there, how 'bout three-day-a-week delivery as Fat Man suggested, M-W-F?

If not three days, how 'bout two-days-a-week delivery, T-Th ?

Shoot, if five days are better than six, and three days are better than five, and if two days are better than three, and if one day (W!) would be better than two, than three, than five, than six... well, let me introduce you to the ultimate in USPS service:

RAINBOW-UNICORN-OPTIMUM-PRIME delivery which will occur no days per week and make the USPS fabulously profitable, so profitable it will balance America's budget, eliminate the deficit, and erase the debt. Money for all and your colorful and compelling 100% recyclable advertising supplements for free !

God, I love America.

~+~+~+~+~

Anyone notice how under this administration everything that was good is turning to carp... everything. ...Remember NASA ?

Over at NASA they have already implemented the RAINBOW-UNICORN-OPTIMUM-PRIME delivery method to put astronauts into space.

When we're good, we're really good.

Posted by: Sandy Daze at February 6, 2013 10:34 AM

My uncle used a motorcycle to deliver the mail in Appalachian West Virginia way back when. I expect it was faster than a mule.

Posted by: chuck at February 6, 2013 1:35 PM

Gerard, wasteful and annoying as it is, I believe that the junk mail is not causing the Post office to lose money. As I understand it, the Post Office finds it to be a profitable revenue source.

Posted by: pst314 at February 6, 2013 5:10 PM

Call me lucky. My mailbox is right next to the recycle bin. I don't even take most of the stool in the house.

Posted by: glenn at February 7, 2013 9:44 AM

The only good things that comes in our U.S. Mail are checks from our customers, greeting cards, and oil and gas royalty checks. (My publisher deposits royalty money directly to my bank account.)

The USPS can go to one-day-per-week delivery for all I care. Bring back Mr. ZIP and the Post Office Department!

Posted by: B Lewis at February 7, 2013 10:38 AM

"At last I'm getting Saturday's off!"

Tsk tsk. I'm sure the SAAA (Society for the Abolition of the Aberrant Apostrophe) isn't going to approve. :)

But yes, post offices everywhere (and it's certainly the case in the UK as well) are increasingly a vehicle for the delivery of junk mail and various unwanted items. In the UK, many companies are using alternatives; but government departments use the mail for their unwanted (usually costly) items. In the UK, at least, government departments are pretty well the only organisations still using brown envelopes, too.

[Put a sock in it, Fletcher, lest you get six of the best in the worst possible way.]

Posted by: Fletcher Christian at February 7, 2013 3:53 PM