"The Blasphemous Book of Jau Jau:" Lo, a Most Masterful Tale of Our Time Hath Been Told

Hear, oh thee who wanders parched for the sweet waters of truth in our heat-blasted landscape of lies, there is moisture to allay thy suffering. Take upon thyself thy pilgrimage of clicks even though thy mouse finger be blistered by thy ceaseless quest. Hie thee to the new holy scripture of The Blasphemous Book of Jau Jau -- Written by God's scribe Jewel, She of the Tasty Infidelicacies. Read some here and be entranced, read the rest of the prophecy and be enlightened.

6. And the people waxed cold, and grew slothful, and became like spoiled children, who demanded to be pampered and fed, and entertained, as did Rome of ancient times, and so their judges and rulers, who came from within their midst, were very like them, to the detriment of all.

7. Now it came to pass, that in the Two Hundred and Thirty-Second year of the Republic, the people, tired of the Wars Against Allah and his prophet, may he thirst evermore in the presence of the Living Water, and may he famish evermore in the presence of the Bread of Life, did raise up from their midst a ruler who was untried in battle.

8. And so he had no understanding of war and neither had he understanding of warriors. He was a ruler who had never ruled, nor did he understand business, but was corrupt within and without, who sent violent thugs to enforce his bidding, for he was but was a fool who spouted nonsense that tickled the ears of the slow-witted people, and they, being easily duped and dazzled, did make him King and Ruler of all.

9. The Fool King had no sooner come into power, that he began to meddle in affairs that did not concern him, and because the people feared him, they did not prevent him from stealing that which was not his, nor did they try to stop him when he flouted the laws and did that which was utterly despicable.

10. The Senate came together and voted to restrain the Fool King, who wanted to let free some violent Sons of Allah and the prophet, who breathes evermore through his bung hole in the dung heap of the damned, who were waging a war against all humanity in a most despicable manner, for they would hide in the midst of people unawares, and when the soldiers came to hunt them would kill both innocent and guilty alike, and these same evil warriors would turn themselves into weapons of fire and death, and kill many more innocent.

11. And so the former ruler, seeing how dangerous these vile creatures were, vowed to end their reign of terror, and captured many of them. And they were sent across the wide sea to an island, where they were kept in a prison that was built for them.

12. But the Fool King, who despised the former ruler, decided that he could do anything he wanted, and assembled the Congress and the Senate and gathered the Soothsayers and Manipulators of Perception, and told them he would let the Sons of Allah and the prophet, who is covered in honey and devoured forever by the beasts of Hell, into the republic.

13. And so, came to an end of the Law in the Republic, and the people will be punished accordingly, for having elected for themselves a Fool as King who had no wisdom. And that is how the Eternal gave them up to do that which they thought was right in their own eyes, and this is how He punishes those who reject Wisdom and Law and Truth, and embrace folly.

The GOSPEL ACCORDING TO JEWEL doth continue HERE.

Posted by Vanderleun at June 30, 2010 7:39 PM