February 18, 2013

Modern Love

“I’m no yenta, but I think this is going to work." - Jim Rogers

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments..."

Submitted for your consideration an item most notable for its soothing palliative tone in which the unusual is normalized. As the age's intellectual insanity assumes the proportions of a plague, the experience of reading the herald of these plague years, the New York Times, becomes more and more like reading dispatches from the alternate universe of "hoping these changes stick." That the changes can only stick if the core of the more normative America holds both economically and militarily (even as the 'changy' culture struggles to destroy it) is where the hoping enters in.

Still it is an item imbued with sweetness in the coyly named "Weddings & Celebrations" section of the Times. It really has it all when it comes to the modern nature of love in a time of cultural cholera: Vows - Kate Adamick and Kay Diaz - Weddings and Celebrations - NYTimes.com [Emphasis carefully added]

"The two women were introduced Feb. 4, 2008, via an e-mail message from their mutual friend, Jim Rogers, the New York State deputy attorney general in the social justice division, for which Ms. Diaz, 45, is a senior trial counsel....

On Valentine’s Day the women exchanged photographs. “It’s an absolute bonus she is as beautiful as she is,” Ms. Adamick said. They scheduled their first phone call four days later. Lengthy, nightly conversations ensued....

The next day Ms. Adamick flew back to New York from California. To her surprise, Ms. Diaz was waiting for her at Newark Liberty airport with two dozen roses. The connection was instantaneous. “She dropped the flowers on the ground and kissed me,” Ms. Adamick said. “We were making out in the car like two teenagers,” Ms. Diaz said. By the following morning they were engaged. 'It just came out of my mouth...' "

A little more than a year later, on May 8, the couple were legally married by Jeanne Laughlin, a Connecticut justice of the peace, in a conference room at the Stamford Government Center.

They exchanged yellow pipe-cleaner rings, saving their engraved gold bands for their public ceremony the next day, when Mr. Rogers — who had introduced them — led them through their vows in the three-story atrium of 632 on Hudson, an event space in a 19th-century New York town house.

“All my life I searched for you, but never thought I’d find you,” Ms. Adamick said. “All my life I dreamed of you, but never dreamed you were real.”

Mr. Rogers said, “You may both kiss the bride,” and their 96 friends and family cheered as the couple smiled exuberantly.

"And," as Walter Cronkite would totalled up the whole passel of perfection if he'd attended, "That's the way it is."

Having not been invited, all I can say is that they seem like a nice, attractive couple and that I wish them all the happiness they can garner from the world. Life's tough enough on the denizens of this relentlessly advancing and evolving world, and tougher still without love.

And yet for all that it seems to me that the report of the affair as scribbled by the oddly yet predictably named "Devan Sipher" in the 'paper of [the broken] record' is trying too hard to retain a deadpan affect; a state in which the writing does not "dumb it down" so much as it "blands it out."

The tone may be a spin-off of drawing this duty, but Sipher's report of love amongst our blithely ignored ruins is more revealing of how things stand in the floating world of our hallucinating elite than a dozen "scientific" surveys of contemporary human happiness. "VOWS: Kate Adamick and Kay Diaz" tells us how haute love is done in the high towers of the Stamford Government Center's technoworld.

First we have the electronic introduction by the strangely accredited "New York State deputy attorney general in the social justice division." I mean, who knew that the State of New York was so deeply committed not to mere justice but to "social justice" that it would field a whole division to handle same? I suppose it comes in handy for those litigants or victims who, having lost their battle for plain justice, can appeal for "social justice" which presumably has its own body of separate but equal laws.

The intro was, as noted, an "electronic" introduction in which souls destined for kismet but distant in space can hope to span the great divide of the fly-over states that unfairly keep New York and California apart. One of the advantages of such an introduction is that it allows intellectuals to mainline each other's thoughts before the more mundane and inconsequential elements of looks and mannerisms can interfere with getting on the brainwave -- an essential credential of love today. Having the whole of the mind before the body interferes is essential if small hiccups in perfection are to be overcome:

“Kay had everything on my list,” Ms. Adamick said, “except she was a vegetarian.” When Ms. Diaz disclosed this particular trait, Ms. Adamick wrote her, “I love animals. Medium rare.”

Ah, love, let me not have hamburgers and ribs to the marriage of true minds [and buns] breed impediment. [In fact, lets move all the breeding right out of this, okay?]

This mainlining of each other's thoughts used to work better in pure ascii form when email was in the stone age and no photos could be attached. Now, however, photos can be attached and such attachments are a sign that modern love is ready to be taken to the next level. It must be love "that looks on tempests and is never shaken." In this case, the sweetness of exchanging photos on Valentine's Day is especially endearing.

But love cannot ever be confined to cyber-realms to be real, but must sooner or later "bear it out even to the edge of doom!" Yes, it must descend from such spiritual plains into the world where it shall be "the star to every wandering bark." Love today begins with endlessly nattering phone coversations that become so intense cell-phone batteries are burnt to cinders --

“We’re both ranters,” Ms. Adamick said of their three-hour marathons that ran the gamut from political prognostications to romantic reveries. [I'm giving extra purple-prose points to Devan Sipher for minting the code-phrase "romantic reveries."]
-- and must ultimately come down to Earth even if that Earth is the airport near Newark.

From town car make-out sessions to the final ceremony, our modern love affair does not miss a chance to make history glisten.

First comes the mundane out-of-state legalistic wedding in Connecticut exchanging oh-so-ironic "yellow pipe-cleaner rings," and then the high-toned public ceremony where it counts replete with the "engraved gold bands" in the "event space" in a 19th-century New York town house.

And at the last the little touch of cock-the-snoot sprinkled on the whole thing when the male yenta of the "social justice division" whipped out a little "social justice" of his own with his killer punch-line, “You may both kiss the bride.”

.... and their 96 friends and family cheered as the couple smiled exuberantly.

"Exuberantly..." Oh really? Such a weak and wet adverb to such a strong and determined tale of love in a Brave New Century trying to make all that was old new; a century trying to remain impervious to history with every ounce of hope it can muster.

We have all been here before throughout the Clinton years and into the first three quarters of 2001 before it all went smash. Maybe this time our luck will hold even though all of history tells us we are merely whistling through the graveyard.

Even to my tin ear it is pleasing to hear the ever-rising hymns of hope and change, though we all know that they only serve to drown out the approaching waves of blood that will determine the fates of many millions; New York dwellers such as Kate and Kay chief among those burning like human torches in their wonderful target city.

On the other hand, since nothing is written, perhaps it will be their brave new world that survives after all. I, for one, certainly hope so. I'd like a world in which their love and all love begun this week survives at least to the silver anniversary. I just wish I had more hope than rope for their change.

Failing that, I still stand with the bard who notes that, "Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, / But bears it out even to the edge of doom."

If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Posted by Vanderleun at February 18, 2013 2:04 AM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

That is horrible, it always makes me cringe when carnivores marry vegetarians. It's just not right.

Posted by: Potsie at February 18, 2013 4:52 AM

Well you snarky bastard. Bravo.

This is a pluperfect evisceration of the off-hand self-righteousness on daily display by Our Betters™. It has surely not escaped your attention that this article is coincident with the effort to normalize perversity via fake lesbian wedding announcements in small town newspapers.


This has only been going on forever; 25 years ago I opened my morning newspaper, on the ferry ride to the financial district, to find a front page feel-good story about LesbyLove, featuring a full-color photo of my recent shrink, her new "wife" (the marriage counselor to whom she had referred my girlfriend and me) and their homosexual sperm donor, a member of the same psychology clinic in Berkeley.

As has been pointed out before, that explained a lot.

Posted by: Rob De Witt at February 18, 2013 8:09 AM

I wonder if at some point, those who get things done just get tired of all this and give all of the idiots a sort of separate, but parallel world where they can spend valueless money on worthless crap, compete with each other for meaningless honors, and attempt to impose preposterous narratives on one another through an unending parade of news shows, talking points, and blog posts. Meanwhile, the doers build and repair the infrastructure, pioneer innovations, bear and raise kids with a good shot at becoming perfectly decent human beings, and run the real financial system according to sound principles.

Perhaps Kornbluth's Marching Morons already covers this ground, but today we don't have to worry about the idiots out-reproducing the doers. Sufficient access to birth control, abortion on demand, not-especially socially costly diversions, inflated credentials and titles, food, and a few hundred square feet of living space in a "cool" urban setting will keep them content for a lifetime. In a few generations they will have chatted and partied themselves out of existence. The solution need need not have a eugenic dimension. Those children of idiots who show a strong desire to create (in the real, material sense), who like children, who want to raise them responsibly, and who believe that wealth is to be earned through toil could always be invited to the other side.

Contempt is an important part of the scheme. Not of the doers for the idiots, but for the idiots for the doers. As the last idiot couple pops the last viagra and copulates for the last time to some life desecrating lyrics played on a sound system they could never understand, and as they die of simultaneous orgasms/strokes, they must die with contempt on their wrinkled lips for the doers. They must always be absolutely convinced of their superiority (that sound system would never have been built without us... you didn't build it... we did!). Given their hubris, I don't think that is a hard goal to achieve.

And to be honest, I really don't think that we are that far from being able to put this plan into practice. Not that far at all.

Posted by: el baboso at February 18, 2013 10:23 AM

Is it still okay to be repulsed by members of the same sex, "making out like teenagers?"

No? Too bad, I am.

Posted by: mare at February 18, 2013 12:08 PM

Two rich and over-privileged people I've never met got married.

Forgive my lack of joy-tears.

Posted by: Mumblix Grumph at February 18, 2013 2:02 PM

el baboso writes:

And to be honest, I really don't think that we are that far from being able to put this plan into practice. Not that far at all.

I think we may already be there. As the Wall Street Journal (or was it National Review?) noted some time back, support for abortion rights is steadily weakening, if for no other reason than that the people pushing it are the ones least likely to reproduce themselves.

Think of it as evolution in action.

Hale Adams
Pikesville, People's Democratic Republic of Maryland

Posted by: Hale Adams at February 18, 2013 6:28 PM

mare: No a lot of guys love lesbo porn. Those two aren't bad looking. Not the ones who work at the Meijers nearby.

Posted by: Fat Man at February 18, 2013 7:51 PM

mare: No a lot of guys love lesbo porn. Those two aren't bad looking. Not like the ones who work at the Meijers nearby.

Posted by: Fat Man at February 18, 2013 7:51 PM

These types will not breed themselves out of existence. They are a self-limiting phenomenon. Aren't we glad for that?

Faster please.

Posted by: R Daneel at February 18, 2013 8:24 PM

The only thing truly noteworthy in that article was the existence of a "Social Justice" bureau, staffed by lawyers. WTF&F? New Jackers, you are being taken for a shakedown drive by knaves and scoundrels, you asked for it, and you're paying for the privilege. As Mencken said you deserve it good and hard. Anytime one of you does something unsocial, these ladies (?!) are gonna come after you with guns and handcuffs.

Yeah, but fat man, those girls you're watching are 20 yrs old. Not the same thing.

And finally, remember the old slogan: "The personal is political." How is it that a completely ordinary event of interest only to the families and friends involved, of two nobodies you'll never hear about again, is so publicly and breathlessly celebrated as such a desirable and beautiful event?

On the personal, I wish upon them every happiness. Yet I'm sorry to say, most parents dread this event as they dread a thousand other things that can happen to their cherished offspring. And yet their parents also only want all the best for their children.

On the political, this is just another culture war attack. You must agree that this is a equally desirable outcome for all people. Naah, it's a good outcome for those two, but it has no larger meaning at all. Do what you think is right, let other people do what they want, and history will decide. You can't make people do anything except at the point of a gun, and sometimes not then. All you can be is an example of your moral and civic codes.

Posted by: John A. Fleming at February 18, 2013 9:01 PM

I value men. I appreciate their complementary

( do not misunderstand- complementary - acting as or forming a complement; completing
forming a satisfactory or balanced whole )

Posted by: Grace at February 18, 2013 10:02 PM

I value men. I appreciate their complementary
natures. ( do not misunderstand- complementary - acting as or forming a complement; completing
forming a satisfactory or balanced whole )
Posted by Grace at February 18, 2013 10:02 PM

Exactly, Madame. Despite a life spent in what has been essentially aversion therapy towards the gentler sex, I would not live without them....Even though I've sadly concluded, for the nonce, that I cannot live with them either.

But tomorrow is another day, n'est-ce pas?

Posted by: Rob De Witt at February 18, 2013 11:27 PM

Too bad there is no entry for this kind of thing from the "Gods of the Copybook Headings", though I am certain it would fit in perfectly with their other pronouncements.

Posted by: Cond0011 at February 19, 2013 6:43 AM