October 26, 2003

Let Moore Be More Moore

moore.jfif
The Once and Future Face
of the Democratic Party

It seems that every fortnight, Michael Moore, like some early precursor of Jabba the Hut or Latter-Day ambulatory version of Larry Flynt, manages to slurp up another rich greasy gobbet of publicity. He does this by running his time-tested con for enriching himself, the large lie masquerading as “Moore Truth.”

Leftists and liberals and Democrats throughout the country suck down these lies because they are, by now, addicted to The World According to Michael Moore. Like heroin addicts, they constantly need Moore to feel ‘normal.’ Even more, they need Michael to up the dose by providing ever more outrageous lies for them to skin-pop or mainline. It’s the only way they can get off. And while it is always unsettling and degrading to see a junky getting nasty and oozing while searching for his angry fix, it seems to be a fixed part of our popular culture that we will be exposed to this with distressing frequency as the run-up to the 2004 elections (to be heralded by the release of Moore’s next and even more degrading film).

Moore’s fans are addicted and as anyone who has known a junkie has learned: “Once the needle goes in, it never comes out.” Moore too is addicted. Addicted to his own fame and to the wealth that it brings him as he pushes ever more potent levels of his junk on his fans. This is not surprising since the pusher and the junk are forever locked in “the algebra of need.”

But what is surprising is the vitriol poured on Moore by those who see through his con. Let Moore eruct on the political meaning of Chinese Checkers and a thousand blogs and commentators erupt to condemn him. They rail and bluster. They enumerate his lies (and they are legion), and they catalog his sins against rationality -- numberless. They even criticize his films and provide worth to that which is worthless.

This is the wrong stance to take. This is a deep and abiding political error. This is something that must be resisted at all points and at all times.

The only way to use Moore is to “Let Moore be More Moore.”

Let him run loose across the screens and pages of the society. Let him hang from the ceiling of our culture and drip green over all below. Let his films be shown against the walls of buildings in the inner cities. Let every magazine cover in the known universe put his picture on its cover under the banner headlines: THIS IS THE FACE OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY or MICHAEL MOORE: WHAT HE IS YOU WILL BECOME or MOORE MEANS MORE FOR YOU.

There should be a nationwide agreement that Michael Moore’s face and body should decorate billboards on all major highways to a level of density that it is impossible to escape his visage and his fashion sense, all with the slogan: MOORE IS THE VERY MODEL OF THE MODERN MAJOR DEMOCRAT or A VOTE FOR A DEMOCRAT IS A VOTE FOR THIS MAN.

Recordings of Moore’s reedy and whining pronouncements should be played at the beginning and end of every NPR or PBS broadcast right after their self-serving moments of silence for men killed in Iraq.

McDonalds needs to sign Moore to a Superbowl ad whose tag-line reads, “I never met a dictator or a cheeseburger I didn’t like.”

The NRA should quit grumbling and get with the program. Large Michael Moore shooting ranges should be endowed in all the states. Large targets and free Ammo Fridays.

MTV needs to shelve its current roster and put the films and film clips of Michael Moore into heavy rotation for the next 13 months.

In short, there needs to be an unremitting campaign to associate Michael Moore’s face, body and voice with the Democratic Party.

What we want is for every voter in every booth in every polling station next November, to gaze at the ballot and see Michael Moore’s face and form wavering in front of it saying: “Do you want some Moore?”

Posted by Vanderleun at October 26, 2003 4:13 PM
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