Kids Today

Is that a pistol down my pants or.... BLAM!

Where to begin with this newsquib? It exceeds the mind's capacity for bogglement.

So much for packing a, um, rod

A 15-year-old Brooklyn boy shot himself in the penis Sunday after fumbling with a gun that had slid from his waistband, authorities said yesterday.

Khamir Grant was then arrested for reckless endangerment and criminal possession of a weapon ... law-enforcement sources said.

Grant told cops that he was walking home from Amersfort Park at East 39th Street and Avenue J in East Flatbush around 1:30 a.m., when the gun began to fall into his pants, sources said.

When Grant grabbed for it, he accidentally pulled the trigger, firing a bullet right through his penis.

Grant staggered home and told his mom what had happened, sources said.

They took a livery car to Kings County Hospital, where Grant was released after treatment and then arrested by police.

There's so much now normalized wrongness here that the only thing it underscores is "the banality of evil" in everyday life. But let's review anyway.

The idiot in question is only 15 years old. This is a person still (ostensibly) in high school and, if what transpires is any indication, unlikely to graduate from same.

He is out walking about on city streets at 1:30 in the morning. There's nobody around to question why he is doing that, nor is there likely to be.

He is not a complete idiot, however, because he's packing a gun. An illegal gun to be sure, since New York is not known for giving pistols and carry permits to 15 year olds, but he probably feels the need of one. He's mostly an idiot, however, because he is wearing pants so loose that a packed gun can slip down into the commodious crotch area. Safety on? Perish the thought if thought should be found.

At this point his 15-year-old brain becomes alarmed because having a loaded pistol just flopping around inside your pants is not a comfortable, relaxing situation. And because his brain is 15-years-old and, at 1:30 AM perhaps under the influence of unknown substances, that brain says, "Quick, grab the gun!"

Then there's the "idio-second" when the brain transmits the thought, "Ah... no... not by the trigger!" A thought that arrives an idio-second too late. Result, bullet through penis. Works every time you place a loaded gun against a penis and pull the trigger. Even for 15 year olds.

Young teen then "staggered home" (You think?) where mom awaits. (We note the absence of dad and pass on.)

Livery cab ride to hospital ensues because no real NY cab would be caught dead cruising in a neighborhood when 15 year olds have guns drifting around in their pants.

Free emergency room "health care" ensues, and we assume that the mom in question was smart enough to leave the kid's gun at home. Wouldn't want it falling out his pants again and shooting the surgeons.

Arrest ensues so that the idiot in question can either avoid his court date -- or be set free with a warning not to shoot himself in the penis again.

Likely outcome? The kid won't shoot his penis ever again. He'll shoot someone else or wind up shot dead himself before he's 19. It's how we live now.

HT: Kevin @ Exurban League

Posted by Vanderleun at September 8, 2009 1:13 PM