March 6, 2004

I Am the Very Model of A Modern Kerry Democrat

Kerry :
I am the very model of a modern Kerry-Democrat,
I'm an information animal, a medal-dripping technocrat,
I know the Kennedys of Camelot, and hide my votes historical,
While my Deaniac supporters consult the Usenet Oracle;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters matrimonial,
I understand rich heiresses, and lust for figures patrimonial,
About Republican recessions I'm steaming up my views,
With many bogus facts about the bad news in the better news.

ALL :
With many bogus facts about the bad news in the better news.
With many bogus facts about the bad news in the better news.
With many bogus facts about the bad news in the better news.

Kerry :
I'm very good at counting up my votes without an abacus;
My forehead knows the use of chemicals botoxculous:
In short, in matters bureaucrat , Eurocrat, and plutocrat,
I am the very model of a modern Kerry-Democrat.

ALL :
In short, in matters bureaucrat , Eurocrat, and plutocrat
He is the very model of a modern Kerry-Democrat.

Kerry :
I know our mythic history, Kings Roosevelt and Kennedy;
I answer softball questions, I humm the Clinton threnody,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of all the Bushes,
With enough votes in November I can ram them up their tushes;

I know a place in France where the women wear no pants,
But if I am elected all CEOS will look askance!
I promise you Iíll can them, be a Democratic zealot,
And whistle all the songs from that infernal nonsense Camelot.

ALL :
And whistle all the songs from that infernal nonsense Camelot.
And whistle all the songs from that infernal nonsense Camelot.
And whistle all the songs from that infernal nonsense Camelot.

Kerry :
Then I will pass a tax bill rich in Senatorial babble,
That will only take more money from the richer of this rabble:
In short, in matters bureaucrat , Eurocrat, and plutocrat,
I am the very model of a modern Kerry-Democrat.

ALL :
In short, in matters bureaucrat , Eurocrat, and plutocrat,
He is the very model of a modern Kerry-Democrat.

Kerry :
When I know what is meant by "blatherin" and "spewin",
When I can tell at sight Mass Distraction from Destruction,
When at affairs for fundraising and payoffs I'm aristocrat,
And when my summer White House will be built in Montserrat,
When I have dubbed as my VP the GynoClinton Senator,
And with her help have shown the Bush clan to the door--
In short, when Iím elected as a Democratic President,
You'll say a better Kerry-Democrat has never been a White House resident.

ALL :
You'll say a better Kerry-Democrat has never been a White House resident.
You'll say a better Kerry-Democrat has never been a White House resident.
You'll say a better Kerry-Democrat has never been a White House resident.

Kerry :
For my military knowledge, though I'm gunshy and NoelCowardly,
Iíll be glad to let the UN rule our Armies most rearwardly;
In short, in matters bureaucrat , Eurocrat, and plutocrat,
I am the very model of a modern Kerry-Democrat.

ALL :
In short, in matters bureaucrat , Eurocrat, and plutocrat,
He is the very model of a modern Kerry-Democrat.

Posted by Vanderleun at March 6, 2004 10:11 AM | TrackBack
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