Sneak Peek at President Obama's Address to the Nation

The President: One hundred and eighty-three days ago the Democratic Party, and my personal body slaves the hack media, brought forth on this continent, a new Won-derful, conceived in Hawaii (so I am told), and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal but some are more equal than others.

Now we are engaged in a great boondoggle of bills, testing whether that nation, or any nation so confused and so eviscerated, can long endure trillions of dollars in debt while the slacktard half of the population pays nothing in taxes for their government cheese.

We are met on top of a 1,018 page health-careless boondoggle bill. We have come to dedicate a vast portion of that bill's gob-stopping debt, as a final resting place for those who previously worked their whole lives that free enterprise might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should fleece them.

But, in a larger sense, we can not fleece -- we can not bamboozle -- we can not steal -- enough with this boondoggle bill to pay for our addiction to free shit from Uncle Sam. The entrepreneurs, living and dead, who struggled to build up their businesses and capital, have not socked away enough for our poor power to tax or extract.

The rich and sorta-rich will note, and long remember how we tax here, but they can never come up with enough cash to pay for what we enacted here.

It is now for you, the vaguely solvent but earning less than $250,000, rather, to be dedicated here to paying for the unfinished make-work which they whom we have fleeced hairless have thus far so nobly advanced.

It is rather for you to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored and bankrupt rich we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave their last full measure of taxation -- that you middle class schmucks here highly resolve that these rich shall not have been taxed into the poorhouse in vain -- that the working class and the middle class of this nation, under Me, shall have a new birth of oppressive taxation -- and that punitive government taxation of the people, by the armed might of the state, for the people who can't get their ass in gear but need an ever expanding bag of goodies from Me, shall not perish from the earth.

Posted by Vanderleun at July 20, 2009 8:50 PM