Jesus Laughed: Greatest Used Car Salesman Lie Evah! @ AMERICAN DIGEST

March 30, 2009

Jesus Laughed: Greatest Used Car Salesman Lie Evah!

A universal expression of rueful remose is the phrase, "Jesus wept." I think we need to shelve that expression for the duration and swap it out for, "Jesus laughed." As in, "You want to amuse God? Tell him your plans."

Jesus laughed this morning as I read that the US government has gone into the used car repair business when Obama sez:

If you buy a car from Chrysler or General Motors, you will be able to get your car serviced and repaired, just like always. Your warrantee will be safe.

In fact, it will be safer than it's ever been. Because starting today, the United States government will stand behind your warrantee.

It is for statements like this that the world "risible" was created. And for attitudes such as that that the word "hubris" was so prized by the Greeks. The government as grease monkey. The government as the entity that is going to fix your car. Or, rather, the government as the entity that will be working with, and overseeing, car repair shops from sea to shining sea. Oh yes, this will end well.

I submit that this is not so much about cars as about pose; the pose of a new Messiah. And this new Messiah doesn't know squat about fixing cars, his ambition instead is to reduplicate an ancient miracle. Please to consult Matthew 14:

24But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.
25And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.
26And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.
27But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.

Be not afraid, it is I, thy President, and I shall walk, not just upon water, but upon the thick oil of charm. As in

"Oozing charm from every pore, he oiled his way across the floor." — Alan J. Lerner, My Fair Lady

Now that we see the hubris of the man extend itself into the crankcase of your care, we can only wait for the first model out of the new, improved Government Motors: "The 2010 Nemesis."

For when the government is in control of warrentees and car repairs, the catch phrase at the Indianapolis 500 will be: "Gentlemen, just try to start your engines!"

Posted by Vanderleun at March 30, 2009 8:48 AM

Just fell off the couch.

We NEVER watch CNN.

They were covering the flood in Fargo on Fox. When they started to talk about stranded pets - I dove for the remote in my husband's hands and flipped on CNN for the first time in months.

Hell just froze over.

Lou Dobbs likened Obama to a car salesman.

Then played the clip of The One's conference as he made his pitch.

Dobbs then interviewed some economist from Harvard that said BO was unraveling capitalism.

CNN? Have I entered an alternate universe?

Posted by: Cathy at March 30, 2009 5:19 PM

Automotive Excellence in the Age of Obama:

The Won will select their senior management.

Geithner, or if he's busy, Raul Castro, will structure their business plan.

EARTH! FIRST! will dictate the enviro-whacko goals that constrain their engineering.

Dissed and pissed-off gradulates of public high schools, shanghied by "card-check" into union membership, will build their cars.

The bastard children of AIG and the World Bank will hold whatever remmants of their paper the U.S. taxpayer is lucky enough to duck.

Yeah, that'll work.

Posted by: askmom at March 30, 2009 6:49 PM

"And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will overthrow with the breath of his mouth and destroy by the splendor of his coming." (2nd Thess 2:8)

It doesn't say what the Lord's breath involves, but laughter seems entirely plausible.

The one object of idolatrous devotion so common in American culture that the dark one would set a high priority on getting hold of it has got to be the car. For most, I suspect, average time behind-the-wheel surpasses rightly-directed worship by an order of magnitude, possibly two (if they even worship at all anymore).

Posted by: Ultraguy at March 31, 2009 4:00 AM

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The Obamessiah is merely fulfilling the prophecy of the forerunner, the Goracle, who spaketh that the internal combustion engine is the greatest enemy of man.

Posted by: Gagdad Bob at March 30, 2009 9:32 AM

Apropos of Jesus' laughter, there's Psalm 2:4--

"He who sits in the heavens laughs;
the Lord has them in derision.
Then he will speak to them in his wrath,
and terrify them in his fury . . . "

Posted by: Connecticut Yankee at March 30, 2009 11:24 AM

So, the car warranties are to be guaranteed by the department of....Transportation? Commerce? Treasury?
And authorized by which spending bill? Or perhaps we do not need those details anymore.
They used to make a car like that. It was called the Yugo.

Posted by: james wilson at March 30, 2009 6:58 PM

Man... even the Europeans are telling BO that his path is wrong. They must own significant US debt, too.

If the Chinese and Saudis won't buy US debt, the Chosen One will have to print the money he needs. That will drive us to rapid inflation. At least then we'll all be millionaires and BO can claim success.

Posted by: MAS1916 at March 30, 2009 7:03 PM

I sure hope He doesn't put a gummint guarantee on colonoscopies.

I don't want any gummint obieseers hanging around by butt. It will be crowded enough.

Posted by: Lance de Bpyle at March 30, 2009 8:57 PM