Famous for Nothing

"Christof Wallner, 23, from Austria, the first buyer of the new iPad in Germany, poses after purchasing the tablet in front of the Apple store in Munich, March 16, 2012. Apple's new iPad went on a sale in Germany on Friday and more than 500 people waited on the line to purchase the new device in front of the shop prior to its opening." -- Waiting to score the newest iPad from Apple

To update Andy Warhol, "In the future everyone will be famous for 15 nanoseconds for doing nothing." And indeed they are.

Above we see an all too typical moment where the largest company in history in terms of perceived market value is celebrated by having a skinny chestless European male of dubious sexuality emerge from a doorway holding a mass-market object above his head in a gesture of triumph. Such photos were previously spread throughout the world as the result of some sort of measurable genuine achievement. Now it would seem you are awarded global recognition for just showing up very, very early with about $500 in your pocket. Color me massively unimpressed.

What I am marginally impressed by is that although this is happening in Munich, today's photo editors seem to be blissfully unaware of the subtext seen in the upraised saluting hands on the right. Oh well, so it goes. You can't expect a people whose grand-parents and great grandparents ended up burned to ash by Brits and Americans and gang-raped by Russians to retain my interest in history.

We've been seeing these "nerds line-up early for tech goodies and nerd myths" stories for decades now. I think the first "newsworthy" stories centered around early line-squatters for "Star Wars," but they surely have lost their allure by this point. And they are not, by any stretch of the imagination, "news." Indeed, the only time they seem to become news is when people are beaten and/or killed during the line-up and subsequent swarming. That of course usually has to do with toys or shoes. If all you want to do is note that a nerd swiped his card and entered his PIN and got a box first, please pass the coke spoon and hold the Sominex.

If Nike's newest sneaker is causing dropping bodies at the mall, that's news. As for the newest nerd-swarm over a techtoy, wake me when they start setting themselves on fire as the doors open.

Posted by gerardvanderleun at March 16, 2012 8:08 AM