The horns of our illegal alien dilemma are simple to state. Those who oppose the illegals among us insist that the bulk of them, being Mexican, be deported forthwith from the soil of the United States. Those who support the de facto presence of these 17 million human beings assert that it is not only immoral but simply impossible to deport such a number. Both these propositions seem a bit extreme to me as well as unimaginative. Applying a bit of imagination to this clefstick yields an acceptable compromise.
While it is clear that allowing 17 million residents to break the law is unacceptable if you wish to continue a society based upon the law, it is also clear that sending anybody back into the global chancre that is Mexico against their will is immoral. Sending anybody to Mexico forcibly should be reserved as a punishment in our penal system, and not seen as a part of our immigration policy.
Indeed, most of the illegal and legal people of Mexican descent among us are here because their were both astute enough to see Mexico as it is, and resourceful enough to get the hell out of there. When all is said and done, the primary "cause" of illegal immigration is not that the United States is so great, but that Mexico sucks about as deeply as a country can and still not blow up. For the most part we benefit by receiving the cream of the Mexican gene pool any way we can get them. I present the wide availability of a decent mole sauce as exhibits A, B, and C. But still, the law is the law.
Hence the problem becomes how to send 17 million Mexicans back to Mexico in a moral and humane fashion. (While keeping our strategic reserve of mole sauce high at the same time.)
Please do not tell me "It can't be done." It can of course be done. True, it will not be done overnight by clicking the heels of the ruby shoes of the Deportation Fairy and saying, "For 17 million of you there's no place like home." Nope. They got here in dribs and dabs, and back they shall go the same way. The underutilized Greyhound buses that are still networked throughout the lower 48 states will serve well for this purpose as well as giving a much needed boost to Greyhound's stock.
Getting the illegals back to Mexico will be a simple matter of rounding them up and getting them to the bus on time. The shuttling of the Mexicans to the border and beyond will take some time, but with half the energy the government devotes to scanning your ass at the airport, it can be accomplished in about 18 months tops once the system gets rolling. Do the math. It breaks down to about 31,000 one-way border deliveries a day. Well within the core competency of Greyhound.
Of course, the real problem of this is that, as alluded to above, sending anyone to Mexico against their will is immoral. Unless, of course, they are armed. Then it is not only moral but beneficial to humanity in general. For this I will suggest handing out, to our deportees as they depart, not only a little spending money but some critical "democracy tools" from "The Unwelcome Wagon of the USA" along with a breakfast burrito and a Pepsi.
The problem with Mexico is not that it is an oligarchy masquerading as a democracy (which it is). but that that the democratic/peoples component of the Mexican political equation is essentially unarmed. The Mexican oligarchy has, as oligarchies will, most of the guns and the lion's share of the ammunition in the form of the Mexican armed forces.
So it seems to me that if what we are up to is deporting illegal Mexican aliens back to Mexico, the least we can do is send them off with one of the true gifts of American democracy -- an assault rifle and a case or two of ammunition. Arriba!
This will solve one of the major problems implicit in the forced deportation of Mexicans back to Mexico, i.e. the forced destabilization of Mexico.
It is obvious that the opportunities and money available to illegal aliens in the United States is one of the few safety valves available to the ruling Mexican oligarchy. After all, if we didn't exist the ruling families of Mexico would have to either cut the wretched of Mexico in on the petroleum pie or face civil war. Remember that Mexico is a country in which one of the richest men has more money than 17 million of his fellow citizens put together. As long as we're covering the oligarchy's ass with our porous northern border, the steady state of Mexico's de facto dictatorship can survive. And who needs a dictatorship on our southern border?
We need to stop propping up Mexican fascists by importing their excess angst. We need to initiate a policy for illegal alien deportation that involves the importation of first rate American assault weapons. Once that happens the future for the ruling families of Mexico starts to look a little more sketchy than it has been up to now.
This compromise has two other benefits to America.
First, it gives our home grown armaments industries a much needed shot in the arm. After all, outsourcing the manufacture of your weapons to a foreign country (as has recently been suggested) is not always a cost-effective way of planning for your future as an independent nation.
Second, it gives a lot of repatriated Mexicans a shot (so to speak) at making their country a true democracy at last.
Of course, you may say that a wise and far sighted Mexican oligarchy would simply shoot these repatriated citizens as they crossed the border with assault rifle and bandoliers. Well, perhaps, but I think we could counter that by using the US Army, Navy, and Air Force to provide safe passage, protected corridors, and air cover for all the armed Mexicans until they got back to the city or village of their choice. After that, they'd be on their own. Back in Mexico with a few bucks, a weapon, and more than a few rounds to go around.
An economic bonus to this is that it would enable the US to stop paying for security on the southern border. After the first 50,000 or so pistoleros repatritatos were walked back deep into Mexico courtesy of the 101st Airborne, Mexico would look to seal up the border all by itself. If they got too carried away with the 101st there could be an opening for a whole new political party in Mexico overnight.
Sounds revolutionary to me.
Posted by Vanderleun at May 9, 2008 10:40 AM | TrackBackSomewhere an open border advocate's head just exploded.
Posted by: David McKinnis at May 9, 2008 11:12 AMI forward the modest suggestion that a good lever gun in a pistol caliber would serve better than an assault rifle, at least for the purposes of beginning the Mexican revolution.
Insurgencies never win by seizing the capital by virtue of superior firepower. It always comes down to which side decides to surrender the fight. If you don't believe me, go ask Fidel.
A government exists because the governed acquiesce to being governed. Whether it is because a majority trades soap operas and a social safety net or the same majority is sufficiently cowed by death camps or a police state to accept the government is immaterial. If all the effort (and the substantial capital) that Mexicans spent getting here was applied to rejecting the organs of the Federal state back to home, the place would fall (further, hopefully fatally) apart overnight.
You don't need ten thousand machine guns - which are what assault rifles by definition are - to deal with the folks that need dealing with in Mexico. Make that ten thousand people that have seven or eight shots toward defeating drug lords, corrupt government functionaries, and criminal quasi-feudal landlords, and you make it necessary for a lot of people to agree on at least a broad plan.
Give 'em Marlins, two boxes of ammo apiece, and tell them which rock on the river you'll leave bullets under.
Posted by: TmjUtah at May 9, 2008 11:43 AM>>sending anybody back into the global chancre that is Mexico against their will is immoral.
Huh?! Send them back, or more accurately encourage them to go home, and let them sort it out since they know they have no option.
Posted by: Tregonsee at May 9, 2008 12:55 PMEgad, indeed. The Revolutionary seizes the capitol, the Bandit seizes the capital.
Posted by: Cynyr at May 9, 2008 2:32 PMOnce you have the Capitol you can print all the capital you want.
Posted by: vanderleun at May 9, 2008 3:54 PMIt takes two steps.
1. Close the border. Slow the flow of new illegals to a trickle.
2. Enforce the law against employing illegal aliens.
95% of the illegals come here for work. When employers are no longer willing to hire these worthy people, they will deport themselves bit by bit.
The 5% who are criminals must be deported - period.
Problem solved.
Posted by: Jimmy J. at May 9, 2008 7:38 PMWhile sending them back with arms is a fine idea, there are always those who will simply sell their arms or trade them for the opportunity to sneak back in again.
I have a solution to this problem, which I call "Operation Chutes and Ladders": captured illegal aliens, rather than simply tossed back across the border, could be flown by plane, or if cheaper sent by cruise ship, to the island of Cozumel.
The former illegal aliens, should they try to makde their way to America again, would then have to make their way off of the island to Cancun, make the 2,000 mile journey up to the USA-Mexico border again, and perhaps have to pole vault or tunnel under the new border walls being built. A "swim - hike - jump or dig" triathalon.
It could be a great "reality TV" show--sort of "The Running Man" meets "The Amazing Race". Tom Tancredo could host it.
It would also subsidize our cruise liners and airlines, as they are facing recession.
The vast majority of illegal immigrants came here seeking work. If such work is denied them, most will eventually return of their own free will. Enforcement of the employment laws we already have on the books will solve the biggest part of the problem without violating anyone’s rights.
Posted by: Chazz at May 10, 2008 7:47 AMThe best way to deny work to illegal aliens invaders is to jail their erstwhile employers. It is more efficient since the numbers are smaller than those of the aliens themselves, and it places the cost of the solution on those who benefited the most in the past. And yes, they will take themselves back to Mexico without us having to spend a dollar to get them home. And there will be a revolution in Mexico and we'll need a wall not a fence because they will want to come here in any event. Tough titty.
Posted by: RKV at May 10, 2008 8:37 PMIt takes one step only - Tell them to get one the next bus or face jail time.
Posted by: Christoffel van Vuuren at June 14, 2008 3:05 PM"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated to combat spam and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.