"Can't we all just get along?"
Cheney's heart device replaced and he's ready for another "Summer of Love."
While still emerging from anesthesia, the Vice-President issued the following statement:
Continued...
I've been at this since 1987. Here's my list so far. What do you know?
1. THE NET IS THE ENTIRE KNOWN CYBERSPACE UNIVERSE, AND LIKE THE REAL UNIVERSE IS CONSTANTLY EXPANDING.
2. THE SIZE OF THE NET IS UNKNOWN.
3. THE NET IS JUST LIKE THE SOCIETY IT CONNECTS, ONLY LESS SO.
4. NOBODY OWNS THE NET.
5. THE NET HAS NO CENTER.
6. IF YOU INSIST THAT THE NET *MUST* HAVE A CENTER, LOOK IN CALIFORNIA.
7. INFORMATION ON ANY SUBJECT YOU CAN THINK OF, AND MILLIONS MORE YOU NEVER THOUGHT TO THINK OF, IS ON THE NET
8. ON THE NET ALL LAWS ARE LOCAL.
9. THE NET IS NOT FAIR.
10. THERE ARE NO FINAL LIMITS TO THE NET, ONLY REST STOPS.
11. THE NET IS A POSTOCRACY NOT A DEMOCRACY.
12. THE PRIMARY NEED THAT DRIVES THE NET IS THE NEED FOR AFFILIATION.
13. THE SECONDARY NEED THAT DRIVES THE NET IS THE NEED FOR ATTENTION.
14. "THE NET SEES CENSORSHIP AS SYSTEM DAMAGE AND ROUTES AROUND IT." -- JOHN GILMORE
15. YOU CAN'T KNOW THE WHOLE NET OVERNIGHT, OR EVEN OVER A DECADE.
16. THE SOCIETY OF THE NET IS TRIBAL.
17. "THE NET HAS NO MIND. IT BORROWS YOURS." -- THE UNKNOWN POSTER
18. ON THE NET YOU MEET PEOPLE FROM THE INSIDE OUT.
19. VIRTUAL APPEARANCES ARE ALWAYS DECEIVING.
20. THE ONLY BEHAVIOR YOU CAN CONTROL ONLINE IS YOUR OWN.
21. NO FEAR.
22. IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOME SOCIAL SKILLS, GET SOME.
23. READ BEFORE YOU RESPOND.
24. DON'T TICK OFF SYSTEM ADMINISTRATORS; THEY WILL GET THEIR REVENGE.
25. YOU CAN'T BREAK THE NET.
26. IT'S ALWAYS RUSH HOUR SOME WHERE ON THE NET.
27. YES, YOU CAN CONTACT CELEBRITIES ON THE NET BUT DON'T EXPECT AN ANSWER.
28. IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, KNOW WHERE THEY ARE AND WHAT THEY'RE DOING ON THE NET.
29. ALL NETWORKS GO DOWN.
30. HAVE A STRONG PASSWORD AND A WEAK PASSWORD AND KNOW WHERE TO USE THEM.
31. DON'T WRITE YOUR PASSWORD DOWN ANYWHERE.
32. CHANGE YOUR PASSWORDS FREQUENTLY.
33. A PASSWORD SHOULD BE STORED IN ONLY TWO PLACES: YOUR HEAD AND THE HOST COMPUTER.
34. WORDS ARE NOT SECURE PASSWORDS, NOR ARE WORDS SPELLED BACKWARDS.
35. ANYTHING YOU SAY, WRITE OR DO ON THE NET MAY BE TAKEN DOWN AND USED AGAINST YOU.
36. NEVER POST THE PRIVATE INFORMATION OF OTHERS, SUCH AS YOUR EX-SPOUSE'S AGE, PHONE NUMBER AND REVISED SEXUAL PREFERENCE.
37. ON THE NET NOTHING IS EVERY REALLY PRIVATE.
38. DON'T LEAVE YOUR COMPUTER UNATTENDED IN AN ACCESSIBLE PLACE IF YOU ARE LOGGED ON.
39. IN CYBERSPACE, *YOU* CANNOT FORCE *ME* TO DO ANYTHING.
40. ON THE NET, CRITICISM CAN ALTER BEHAVIOR WHILE FLAMES CAN HARDEN IT.
41. DOWNLOADED AND PREPAID SOFTWARE IS SELDOM RETURNABLE.
42. POWER ON THE NET IS NOT TAKEN, BUT GRANTED.
43. YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OWN GROUP OF FANS ON THE NET, BUT DON'T BE SURPRISED IF THEY NUMBER LESS THAN ONE.
44. YOU OWN YOUR OWN WORDS, AND WILL, SOONER OR LATER, BE ASKED TO OWN UP TO THEM.
45. IF YOU ARE INVITED TO A FLAME WAR WEAR ASBESTOS UNDERWEAR.
46. BE VERY CAREFUL ABOUT BUYING ANYTHING ON THE NET.
47. IN CYBERSPACE, NOBODY KNOWS YOU'RE A DOG.
48. CHARACTER IS CENTRAL AND ALWAYS VISIBLE.
49. IF YOU THINK YOU ARE IN A VIRTUAL COMMUNITY, YOU PROBABLY ARE.
50. REC.HUMOR.FUNNY ISN'T. ALT.SEX.SHEEP ISN'T ABOUT CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE OVINE KIND.
51. CREDIBILITY, OVER TIME, ALWAYS INCREASES YOUR NET WORTH.
52. NOT EVERYONE ON THE NET IS YOUR FRIEND, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T TALK TO THEM.
53. TAKE A BREAK FROM BEING ONLINE EVERY HOUR.
54. CONTROL YOUR WHAT YOU SAVE. ONE HUNDRED MEGABYTES CAN TAKE TEN MINUTES TO DOWNLOAD AND A DAY TO PRINT.
55. OTHER PEOPLE ON THE NET CAN BE YOUR BEST SEARCH TOOL.
56. CONCENTRATE ON TOOL USE RATHER THAN THE TOOLS THEMSELVES.
57. NEVER STORE REALLY SENSITIVE MATERIAL ON A COMPUTER NETWORK.
58. CLEAN UP YOUR HOME DIRECTORY REGULARLY.
59. RTDOM! -- READ THE DAMN ONLINE MANUAL!
60. RUN VIRUS CHECKING PROGRAMS ON ALL DOWNLOADED SOFTWARE.
61. THE ONLY CONSTANT AND DEPENDABLE AREA OF AGREEMENT ON THE NET IS BETWEEN THE COMPUTERS. AND EVEN *THEY* DON'T ALWAYS AGREE.
62. BE YOUR OWN CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS.
63. ASK. PEOPLE KNOW.
64. ANSWER IF YOU KNOW.
65. UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE THE DOCTRINE OF FAIR USE.
66. HOSING IS NEVER CONVENIENT
67. IF DOWNLOADING A FILE IS GOING TO GIVE YOU ENOUGH SPARE TIME TO WEAVE AN IRANIAN PRAYER RUG FORGET IT.
68. GIVE HELP TO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM GIVE HELP TO YOU.
69. YOU ARE YOUR POSTINGS.
70. OVER TIME, PEOPLE ALWAYS REVEAL MORE THAN THEY INTEND TO REVEAL ON THE NET.
71. YOUR WORDS CAN'T HIDE YOU FOREVER. IN FACT, THEY CAN'T HIDE YOU AT ALL.
72. "YOU OWN YOUR OWN WORDS."
73. EVERYONE TRAVELING IN CYBERSPACE HAS BAGGAGE.
74. TRANSMITTERS CHOOSE WHAT TO TRANSMIT. RECEIVERS CHOOSE WHAT TO RECEIVE.
75. BEWARE OF MAILING LISTS.
76. CHOOSE YOUR FOUR-LETTER WORDS CAREFULLY.
77. IF YOU MUST CURSE, BE COLORFUL.
78. OUTSIDE OF CHAT, YOU CAN'T INTERRUPT.
79. DON'T LURK. CONTRIBUTE.
80. "ON THE NET EVERYTHING IS FORGOTTEN (AND HENCE REPEATED) ABOUT 100 RESPONSES DOWN THE THREAD." -- CLIFF FIGALLO
81. STRIP THE HEADERS WHEN MAILING OR POSTING.
82. THE BEST TEACHING IS ALWAYS IN STORY.
83. "IF THE FIRST TWO SCREENS OF A MESSAGE CONSIST OF QUOTED MATERIAL, SKIP IT." -- RITA ROUVALIS
84. OUT THE NET POLICE.
85. RECOGNIZE THAT *YOU* ARE THE NET POLICE.
86. USE THE TWO LITTLE MAGIC WORDS WHEN ASKING AND WHEN RECEIVING AN ANSWER.
87. TOOLS NOT RULES.
88. USERS RESIST READING MANUALS NO MATTER HOW ATTRACTIVE OR SIMPLE THEY ARE.
89. LEARN HOW TO LOOK.
90. SAVE EARLY. SAFE OFTEN.
91. TEST YOUR SKILLS IN THE TESTING PLACES.
92. DELETE DUMB SOFTWARE.
93. OPT FOR SPEED OVER EASE OF USE.
94. MAKE ALL PARTS OF YOUR CONNECTION AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.
95. LEARN PUBLIC KEY ENCRYPTION.
96. ASCII ENDURES.
97. DO YOUR BACK UPS.
98. IF SOMETHING IS NOT GETTING THROUGH OR NOT HAPPENING, THE FIRST THING YOU SHOULD DO IS CHECK YOUR SPELLING.
99. JUSTIFY YOUR THOUGHTS, NOT YOUR LINES.
100. LEARN A LITTLE UNIX.
101. TURN OFF THE %!@$#!! SMARTQUOTES!
102. DIGITIZED TOOLS RESIST CONTAINMENT.
103. RULES REDUCE PARTICIPATION.
104. THE MORE OPEN A SYSTEM OR DISCUSSION GROUP ,I.E. THE MORE RULELESS IT IS, THE MORE INHERENTLY UNRULY SOME OF THE PARTICIPANTS ARE LIKELY TO BE. THE MORE CLOSED A SYSTEM, I.E. THE MORE RULE BOUND (WITH REAL ENFORCEMENT) THE LESS LIKELY UNRULY BEHAVIOR, BUT ALSO THE SMALLER THE NUMBER OF CONTINUING PARTICIPANTS.
105. THE FASTEST TYPERS ARE THE BIGGEST TALKERS.
106. SAY IT IN SEVEN, GO TO HEAVEN. SAY IT IN EIGHT AND IT WON'T BE GREAT.
107. THE BEST POSTINGS ARE LIVELY, LOOSE AND CONVERSATIONAL.
108. GET LOOSE.
109. WHEN IT DOUBT, OPT FOR FLAIR.
110. FIRE AND FORGET.
111. VENT BUT DON'T DISTRIBUTE.
112. NEVER USE THE ROYAL WE.
113. PEOPLE WHO WRITE IN THE THIRD PERSON ON THE NET ARE WIDELY AND CORRECTLY ASSUMED TO HAVE PERSONALITY DISORDERS.
114. ESCHEW OBFUSCATION.
115. BETTER LINES THAT ARE FIVE WORDS TOO SHORT THAN LINES THAT ARE ONE LETTER TOO LONG.
116. SINGLE SPACE.
117. HAVE A POINT AND GET TO IT.
118. DON'T BOTHER TO POST YOUR AGREEMENT IF ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS "I AGREE".
119. DON'T SAY I DISAGREE UNLESS YOU SAY WHY.
120. ALWAYS LOG OFF PROPERLY.
121. AVOID HAVING A DIFFICULT HANDLE.
122. TRY TO SPELL CORRECTLY, BUT DON'T FLAME SPELLING ERRORS.
123. KNOW WHEN TO POST AND KNOW WHEN TO EMAIL
124. OMIT NEEDLESS QUOTES.
125. HAVE A POINT OF VIEW.
126. USE AN EMOTICON, GO TO YOUR ROOM.
127. USE
128. AOA: AVOID OBSCURE ACRONYMS.
129. NO MORE THAN A THIRD OF A SCREEN SHOULD BE QUOTED MATERIAL, EVER.
130. QUOTE AS YOU WOULD BE QUOTED FROM.
131. JUST BECAUSE EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO AN OPINION DOESN'T MEAN IT SHOULD BE YOUR OPINION.
132. LOCAL COLOR DOESN'T TRANSLATE GLOBALLY.
133. PLEASE TO SPEAK AND WRITE IN ENGLISH PLAIN.
134. IF YOUR POST MIGHT RUIN SOMEONE'S FUN, PUT THE WORD "SPOILER" IN THE SUBJECT LINE.
135. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A BAD WORD, ONLY WORDS THAT ARE BADLY USED.
136. ON THE NET THE STUDY OF RHETORIC IS MORE USEFUL THAN THE STUDY OF WRITING STYLE.
137. YOU'VE GOT TO SEND MAIL TO GET MAIL IN THE BEGINNING, BUT AFTER AWHILE YOU WILL GET MUCH MORE MAIL THAN YOU SEND.
138. EMAIL IS NOT ALWAYS INSTANTANEOUS, BUT THE SEND COMMAND IS.
139. EMAIL DOES NOT ALWAYS ARRIVE.
140. EMAIL, WHEN UNPROTECTED, IS NOT SECURE.
141. EMAIL, WHEN PROTECTED, IS FAIRLY SECURE.
142. EMAIL IS EASILY MISUNDERSTOOD.
143. EMAIL IS NOT A SYNCHRONIZED MEDIUM.
144. EMAIL CAN BE JUNKMAIL.
145. EMAIL ENDURES.
146. EMAIL PROGRAMS USUALLY ASK YOU IF YOU ARE SURE YOU WANT TO SEND THE MESSAGE. THIS IS FOR A REASON.
147. MANY SYSOPS READ MAIL AND USER'S FILES, BUT NONE ADMITS IT.
148. EMAIL AMPLIFIES EMOTIONS
149. EMAIL IS TOO EASY.
150. BE AWARE THAT COMMON NAMES OFTEN GET OTHER'S EMAIL.
151. UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE DOING WHEN YOU SEND ATTACHED DOCUMENTS TO A MAILING LIST.
152. NEVER LET OTHER PEOPLE SEE YOUR EMAIL BEFORE YOU DO.
153. HALF OF ALL EMAIL IS ANSWERED WITHIN A DAY.
154. EMAIL CAN BE FORGED.
155. EMAIL IS PRIVATE BUT NOT SECRET.
156. POST ALL CHAIN LETTERS TO DEV/NULL
157. THAT FLIRTING NOTE YOU SENT THE NIGHT BEFORE WILL IN YOU BOSS' EMAIL BY THIS AFTERNOON.
158. YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS IS JUST LIKE YOUR REAL WORLD ADDRESS, EXCEPT IT IS HORIZONTAL.
159. WHEN IN DOUBT ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT AN IMPORTANT EMAIL MESSAGE HAS BEEN RECEIVED, PICK UP THE PHONE.
160. IF A MESSAGE REALLY NEEDS TO GET THROUGH QUICKLY AND YOU REALLY NEED TO BE ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY SURE IT GOT THERE, USE THE TELEPHONE.
161. DON'T FEED RANTERS.
162. JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS PASSIONATE DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE HOSTILE.
163. DON'T EMPOWER TOPIC DRIFT.
164. PUTTING YOUR OAR IN-BETWEEN TWO TOPIC DRIFTERS RARELY GETS THINGS BACK ON COURSE.
165. IF IT IS INTERESTING ENOUGH TO CAUSE SERIOUS DRIFT, IT IS INTERESTING ENOUGH TO START A NEW TOPIC.
166. NEVER ASK THE NET WHICH COMPUTER IS THE *BEST* COMPUTER.
167. BEFORE POSTING IN AN ONLINE DISCUSSION GROUP FOR THE FIRST TIME, YOU WILL READ ANY FAQ FILES FIRST.
168. IF YOU ARE DISGUSTED BY A "DISGUSTING" JOKE IN A TOPIC CALLED "REALLY DISGUSTING JOKES", YOU HAVE ONLY YOURSELF TO BLAME.
169. IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR CONSTANT CONSENSUS, JOIN A CULT.
170. ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SURGE PROTECTOR.
171. LURK BEFORE YOU LEAP.
172. WE DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE COMING OR GOING.
173. DON'T ASSIGN MOTIVES LIGHTLY.
174. MESSAGES TELLING YOU TO TAKE IT TO EMAIL MAY BE ONTO SOMETHING.
175. ISSUES ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN PERSONALITIES, BUT PERSONALITIES ARE USUALLY MORE INTERESTING.
176. YOU OWN YOUR OWN BROADCASTING STATION BUT OTHERS OWN THEIR RECEIVERS.
177. ON THE NET THERE'S A PLACE FOR EVERY POST AND EVERY POST IN ITS PLACE.
178. DON'T GIVE THE WORLD HEADLINES IN DISCUSSION GROUPS.
179. DISCUSS, DEBATE, PREEN OR COLLABORATE. YOU DECIDE.
180. MOST SYSTEMS WILL ASK TWICE BEFORE LETTING YOU POST. THIS IS FOR A REASON.
181. IF YOU'RE A FASCIST HIDE THE FACT OR INURE YOURSELF TO DISAPPOINTMENT.
182. RECOGNIZE PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO INPUT PORT.
183. THE PHRASE "THIS IS NOT A CRITICISM." USUALLY PREFACES SOMETHING PASSIVELY DEVASTATING.
184. IN HEATED DISCUSSIONS PEOPLE WILL MAKE EXAGGERATED CLAIMS ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF EMAIL SUPPORT THEY HAVE RECEIVED FOR THEIR VIEWS.
185. LEARN TO APOLOGIZE GRACEFULLY.
186. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT DOGS DON'T UNDERSTAND JOKES.
187. A SMILEY CAN BE THE LAST REFUGE OF A CAD.
188. LEARN TO SAY WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN PROVED WRONG.
189. ONLY QUOTE APPROPRIATE PARTS OF A MESSAGE WHEN REPLYING.
190. "KNOW WHEN TO HOLD. KNOW WHEN TO FOLD..."
191. HARSH WORDS ARE GIVEN SLACK IF THE ARGUMENT IS SOUND.
192. NOISE EQUAL EMOTION. SIGNAL EQUALS INFORMATION. MIX THEM IN THEIR PROPER PROPORTIONS.
193. IF YOU'RE GOING TO BEAT A DEAD HORSE, CARVE A NEW CLUB.
194. IT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION THAN TO WIN POINTS.
195. AGREEMENT IS ASSUMED.
196. IF IT'S LONG, SAY SO AT THE BEGINNING.
197. MAKE QUOTES OBVIOUS.
198. ONCE IT'S ON THE NET, YOU CAN'T CONTROL PROPAGATION.
199. **** THINK BEFORE ENGAGING THE KEYBOARD ****
200. IF YOU MEET THE BOZO ON THE NET, IGNORE HIM.
201. "EVERYBODY'S TRYING TO GET YOU DOWN IN THE HOLE THAT THEY'RE IN." -- BOB DYLAN
202. BLANK POSTS SIGNIFY SILENCE.
203. DON'T BE AFRAID TO GET ROWDY.
204. BREVITY IS APPRECIATED BUT NOT MANDATED.
205. A GOOD JOKE TRUMPS A BAD TRUTH.
206. IF YOU HAVE NO FACTS, TRY PROOF BY RIGOROUS ASSERTION REPEATED AD INFINITUM.
207. NOT EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR AN ARGUMENT. SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST SPEAKING THEIR MINDS.
208. NEVER INVEST IN A MONEY-MAKING SCHEME POSTED IN ANY OTHER ONLINE GROUP OR SERVICE.
209. NEWBIES ARE NOT NECESSARILY CLUELESS AND THE CLUELESS ARE NOT NECESSARILY NEWBIES.
210. TALK ABOUT ISSUES; NOT PERSONALITIES. UNLESS ITS BORING OR YOU'RE BEING PROVED WRONG. THEN FIRE AWAY.
211. WEAR A THICK SKIN, BUT DON'T BUTTON IT ALL THE WAY UP.
212. EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO THEIR OPINION, BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE THEM RIGHT.
213. BEWARE THE PHONY SENSITIVITY OF MANY POSTERS.
214. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO CHANGE YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION OR GENDER AT WILL.
215. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.
216. IF YOU ONLY CONNECT WITH PEOPLE ONLINE, HOW THEY ARE OFF-LINE IS IRRELEVANT.
217. PEOPLE ARE NOT THEIR NET PERSONAE.
218. USE AS MUCH CAUTION IN MEETING PEOPLE ONLINE AS YOU WOULD MEETING PEOPLE ON THE STREET.
219. "AD HOMINEM ARGUMENTS ARE NOT NECESSARILY INSULTS. INSULTS ARE NOT NECESSARILY AD HOMINEM ARGUMENTS." -- ROBERT ROSSNEY
220. THE SIMPLEST SYSTEM IS NEVER THE BEST SYSTEM.
221. POSTING EMAIL MAY SOMETIMES SEEM LIKE THE RIGHT THING. IT WILL SOMETIMES BE THE RIGHT THING. IT WILL NEVER BE A GOOD IDEA.
222. NETSEX IS THE ULTIMATE SAFE SEX.
223. LIST FIRST, GROUP LATER.
224. CUT SLACK AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE SLACK CUT.
225. NET PEOPLE ARE NEVER STUPID, ONLY MISINFORMED OR CONFUSED.
226. SEEK UNDERSTANDING INSTEAD OF AGREEMENT.
227. NO WHINING.
228. THERE'S NO SHORTAGE OF CONTENT ON THE NET, BUT THERE'S A SEVERE SHORTAGE OF CLUES.
229. IF YOU'RE FROM AOL, TELL THEM GROUCHO SENT YOU.
230. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE "PAYING FOR IT" DOESN'T MEAN YOU OWN IT.
231. KEEP A WEATHER EYE POSTED FOR TROLLING.
232. 83% OF THE NET IS *NOT* MADE UP OF PORNOGRAPHY.
233. VIRTUALITY IS NOT REALITY. COMMUNICATION IS NOT BEING THERE.
234. TRY NOT TO TAKE THE NET PERSONALLY. WELL, TRY.
235. ONLINE IS NOT ABOUT "BUYING FROM", BUT "CONNECTING TO".
236. HITS ARE NOT VISITS ANY MORE THAN YOU CAN READ A BOOK BY LOOKING AT THE COVER.
237. FLAME WARS ARE GOOD FOR BUSINESS.
238. LEARN BASIC HTML.
239. LINK AT WILL.
240. DON'T MAKE YOUR HOME PAGE ONLY A PICTURE -- EVEN ONE OF YOUR DOG.
241. WATCH OUT FOR CORPORATE WEB SITES THAT POLLUTE THE NET.
242. "PEOPLE ON THE NET ARE NOT KNOWN FOR THE SIZE OF THEIR WARDROBES." -- THE UNKNOWN POSTER
243. SLOW KILLS.
244. WEB SPEED WILL BE TOO SLOW UNTIL IT BECOMES AS FAST AS TELEVISION.
245. CUT TO THE TEXT.
246. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE PART OF A VIRTUAL COMMUNITY, THERE'S A CORPORATE WEB SITE THAT WANTS TO REACH OUT AND TOUCH YOU.
247. CORPORATE WEB SITES WORK BEST AS FLAGPOLES OR CEMETERIES.
248. SLEEK SITES STOKE. SLICK SITES SUCK.
249. SWIFT SITES STOKE. SLOW SITES SUCK.
250. IF A WEB SITE HAS NO FEEDBACK MECHANISM, FORGET IT.
251. NONNET BUSINESSES MOVING ONTO THE NET WILL SPEND MUCH MORE AND MAKE MUCH LESS THAN INITIALLY ENVISIONED.
252. REVENUES FROM THE WEB WILL ALWAYS BE AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE LESS THAN PROJECTED.
253. AVOID INFO CLUTTER.
254. THE MENTAL AGE OF THE AVERAGE WEB SURFER IS CURRENTLY 15 YEARS. THIS MENTAL AGE WILL INCREASE ONE YEAR FOR EVERY THREE SPENT ON THE NET.
255. WEB SITES DIE BECAUSE THEY ARE BORING.
256. IF YOU WANT TO BLOW OFF AN HOUR A DAY IN 30 SECOND INCREMENTS, FIRE UP YOUR WEB BROWSER.
257. FIFTEEN MINUTES AFTER SURFING THE WEB FOR AN HOUR, MOST PEOPLE CAN'T TELL YOU HALF THE PLACES THEY'VE BEEN NOR A QUARTER OF WHAT THEY'VE READ.
258. CUTE ICONS ARE INFO-CLUTTER.
259. IF A SITE TAKES MORE THAN 30 SECONDS TO LOAD, HIT THE STOP BUTTON.
260. WEED YOUR BOOKMARKS FILE REGULARLY.
261. ON THE WEB, VISION IS THE MASK OF GREED.
262. NO CONTENT, NO CALL BACK.
263. WEB SURFERS HAVE NO PATIENCE, NONE, ZERO, NEGATIVE NUMBERS.
264. THE HARD CURRENCY OF CYBERSPACE IS ATTENTION.
265. A HOME PAGE HAS VERY LIMITED REAL ESTATE.
266. REVISE ALL ESTIMATES OF TIME AND MONEY BEFORE BEGINNING WEB WORK. DOUBLE THEM. WAIT A WEEK AND DOUBLE THEM AGAIN. START. THEN REVISE TIME LINE AND COST ESTIMATES UPWARD.
267. BE WARY OF WEB SITES BEARING GIFTS, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE VISITOR 999,999.
268. SIMPLE MINDS ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO THE NET. BUT IT CAN MANUFACTURE THEM.
269. AVOID ANONYMITY.
270. STEAL A PASSWORD, GO TO JAIL. THOU SHALT NOT HACK PASSWORDS.
271. *CAN* DOES NOT MEAN *MUST*.
272. ON DYSFUNCTIONAL SYSTEMS AND PAGES EVERYONE THINKS ALIKE.
273. ON FUNCTIONAL SYSTEMS EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE ALLY.
274. DO NOT INFRINGE COPYRIGHT.
275. IT'S *ALL* COPYRIGHTED. LEARN IT, LOVE IT, LIVE IT, BUT FOR GOPOD'S SAKE QUIT DEBATING IT.
276. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ARE ASKED FREQUENTLY.
277. NEVER BUG OR HARASS OTHERS WITH FEMALE LOGINS. WE NEED ALL THE WOMEN WE CAN GET IF CYBERSPACE IS EVER GOING TO BECOME CIVILIZED.
278. YOU REALLY CAN'T MAKE MONEY FAST ON THE NET NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU SEE A NOTICE THAT SAYS SO.
279. DON'T DO BUSINESS IN THE SCHOOLYARD.
280. THOU SHALT NOT SPAM.
281. TIME SINKS ARE JUST THAT.
282. WHEN PROVEN WRONG INSULT THE VICTOR.
283. DON'T SNOOP.
284. IGNORE ALIEN ORDERS.
285. THREATENING TO SUE OR TO CONTACT AN EMPLOYER WILL ONLY GET YOU SHUNNED.
286. THOU SHALT NOT SPAM, NOR SHALL THOU BUY ANYTHING FROM THOSE THAT DO.
287. GOOD PROGRAMMERS DON'T RELEASE BAD VIRUSES.
288. LOOK AWAY WHEN SOMEONE ENTERS THEIR PASSWORD.
289. KEEP YOUR PERVERSIONS TO YOURSELF.
290. GOSSIP TRAVELS BY EMAIL FASTER THAN BY TELEPHONE.
291. THERE ARE NO FLAME FREE ZONES IN CYBERSPACE.
292. DON'T TRY TO PUT OUT A FLAME WAR WITH A SQUIRT GUN.
293. THE FIRST ONE TO BREAK OFF IN A FLAME WAR IS NOT NECESSARILY THE WINNER.
294. BETTER A LURKER THAN A LUSER.
295. IT IS FUTILE TO TRY TO FORCE YOUR WILL ON PEOPLE WHO CAN TUNE YOU OUT WITH THE PRESS OF A KEY.
296. IN CASE OF FIRE, CUT SLACK.
297. DON'T FEED SOMEONE ELSE'S FLAME WAR.
298. AS A LAST RESORT, TRY LOGGING OFF.
299. TELLING A FLAMER TO 'GET A LIFE' WILL NOT WORK.
300. IF FLAMED, FLAME BACK. OTHERWISE, YOU WILL GET NO RESPECT.
301. FLAMEWARS SURFACE THE LURKERS.
302. THERE ARE ALWAYS FEWER LURKERS THAN PEOPLE THINK THERE ARE.
303. DO NOT POST THE STATEMENT "RAP IS NOT MUSIC." TO ANY DISCUSSION GROUP AT ANY TIME.
304. IMMEDIATELY DELETE AND IGNORE ANY STATEMENT THAT BEGINS, "RAP IS NOT MUSIC."
305. LARGE FLAMEWARS NEVER DIE. SEE: "WHAT IS FAIR USE?"
306. IN A FULL-SCALE FLAME WAR THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR VICTORY.
307. THE DRAMATIS PERSONAE OF THE NET ARE: YAHOOS, KOOKS, MALICIOUS USERS AND SOCIAL ENGINEERS, BLATHERERS, ELITISTS, LUSERS, NEWBIES, CYBERHOMOPHOBES, VICTIMS, ENCYCLOPEDIA SALESMEN OF THE SELF, SCREED MONGERS AND PAMPHLETEERS, THE NICE POLICE, THUGS, PERVERTS, AND PUNKS. BUT YOU ARE AN INDIVIDUAL.
308. THE NET IS MORE THAN THE SUM OF ITS HYPE.
309. THE DEATH OF THE NET IS NEITHER IMMINENT NOR PROBABLE.
310. THE LIMITS OF KNOWLEDGE ARE IN OUR MINDS NOT OUR MACHINES.
311. IF YOU PLAY WITH IT TOO LONG, YOU MIGHT GO BLIND.
312. DON'T GO META WITHOUT A GOOD REASON.
313. THE INTERNET MAPS THE HUMAN MIND AND SOUL.
314. THE NET IS FREE BUT IT STILL COSTS MONEY BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH "INFORMATION WANTS TO BE FREE" PEOPLE STILL NEED TO GET PAID.
315. ON THE NET, SEPTEMBER IS THE CRUELEST MONTH.
316. THE NET IS NOT AN ORGANIZED ENTITY, ALTHOUGH IT DOES POSSESS ORGANIZATION. TO AN EXTENT. SOMETIMES.
317. COMPUTERS ONLY ENHANCE, BUT CANNOT REPLACE, TEACHERS.
318. *THEY* DETERMINE WHAT'S IN THE MEDIA. *WE* DETERMINE WHAT'S ON THE NET.
319. THE NET DOES NOT REPRESENT THE EMERGENCE OF THE WORLD MIND, BUT IT IS A REASONABLE FACSIMILE.
320. REALIZE THAT LIBERTARIANS ARE THE DOMINANT POLITICAL PARTY ON THE NET.
321. DO NOT USE CLIPPER OR ANY OTHER GOVERNMENT MANDATED ENCRYPTION SYSTEM. GET PGP, SOMETHING LIKE IT, OR ROLL YOUR OWN.
322. BE SUSPICIOUS OF ALL MODERATORS.
323. MAKE IT HOT FOR THOSE THAT TRY TO CHILL THE NET.
324. MAKE NO RULES USERS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO KNOW.
325. ONCE YOU KNOW HOW TO GET ON THE NET, HELP TWO OTHERS TO GET ON THE NET.
326. WE DON'T HAVE TO GET THE NET TOGETHER, THE NET IS TOGETHER. OUR JOB IS TO *KEEP* IT TOGETHER.
327. THE NET IS BOTH A SOLVENT AND A RESOLVENT.
328. WHAT IS THE NET? IT IS THE FIRST FREE AND GLOBAL REPUBLIC OF THE MIND. IT BELONGS TO YOU. IF YOU CAN KEEP IT.
329. THE NET ONLY CONNECTS.
330. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT'S OUT THERE. ENGAGE
The John Edwards Esquire Cover:
Getting That "Come Hither" Look
to Sell Your "Book."
As some of my readers and all of my detractors know I spent many years as an editor for Penthouse Magazine. I worked for it when it sold in the millions and I worked for it when it sold, as it does today, in the hundreds of thousands. You might have your fantasies about what it was like to work for the magazine and while most are false, some are true. But those stories are for another time. Today's tale is about how professional men's magazine editors work up the magazine's most important page, the cover.
Continued...
In mid-July the tree in my front yard is losing its leaves. It's a weeping birch some fifty feet high. It doesn't so much shade the house as stand guardian to it. On its trunk the black and white patches have merged together and long ebony tendrils of branches dangle down festooned with dark forest-green leaves like emerald fireworks frozen above the lawn.
The shade pool from the tree covers my neighbor's yard to the north. He sits under it on his lawn on hot days. He's a quiet neighbor and a nice man. Speaks two languages and has a few political ideas which
Continued...
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
-- Sonnet 18
In the end, it is not our failure to learn from history that condemns us to repeat it, but our mind's turning away from even the briefest glimpse of what the dark passages of history were like that damns us. We may know, but we refuse to see. We blind our own mind's eye. It is our inability to imagine the most evil things that all men are capable of that corrupts us.
No, do not say "our inability" to imagine. Say rather, "our refusal" to imagine since the imagination itself -- if we were honest -- can indeed visualize carnage and depravity with ourselves as the actor and never the acted-upon. Our mind can and does see things that we cannot stand to admit. Our mind can bring to an image and hold in our mind's eye things of infinite vileness.
Continued...
Seen outside of Elgin, Oregon on the Hell's Canyon Scenic Byway, spanning the sky, this rare horizontal rainbow.
Here's a close up.
Here's another.
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- December 2007
- November 2007
- October 2007
- September 2007
- August 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- May 2007
- April 2007
- March 2007
- February 2007
- January 2007
- December 2006
- November 2006
- October 2006
- September 2006
- August 2006
- July 2006
- June 2006
- May 2006
- April 2006
- March 2006
- February 2006
- January 2006
- December 2005
- November 2005
- October 2005
- September 2005
- August 2005
- July 2005
- June 2005
- May 2005
- April 2005
- March 2005
- February 2005
- January 2005
- December 2004
- November 2004
- October 2004
- September 2004
- August 2004
- July 2004
- June 2004
- May 2004
- April 2004
- March 2004
- February 2004
- January 2004
- December 2003
- November 2003
- October 2003
- September 2003
- August 2003
- July 2003
- June 2003
"Children seem to be 'diagnosed' with lots of things lately. It has become customary for at least one of their parents to be somehow 'enthusiastic' about said diagnosis, sometimes even confessing to having requested or demanded the diagnosis. Said parent is invariably female. Said child is invariably male. The lopsided gender trend is curious, and so is the spectacle of parents ordering diagnoses for their children, like pizzas or textbooks." - House of Eratosthenes
Please study this evidence carefully. The saints of San Diego and surrounding areas in California NEED TO BE WARNED of the MAJOR JUDGMENT coming upon them that will be MUCH WORSE THAN 911. This evidence shows JULY 8, 2008 is hard coded in the Word of God as the next Major Judgment Date that will fulfill scripture just like the attack on the Twin Towers Sept 11, 2001 and Hurricane Katrina fulfilled scripture . It cannot be prayed away and It will not be delayed. -- !!! 2,492 DAYS !!!
"I'm surprised at how finely calibrated every single word was measured. I wasn't saying anything I hadn't said before, that I didn't say a year ago or when I was a United States senator," said Obama, who is still a senator from Illinois. -- Obama puzzled by Iraq comment frenzy
A woman fell into a tank of slurry as she tried to make "manure bombs" using her stockings, German police today said. The unfortunate woman stripped off her foul smelling clothes and fled the scene naked, along with a female accomplice wearing just her bra and pants, a police spokesman told Reuters. - Cow dung fate for 'manure bomber' | World news | guardian.co.uk
"As Marie-Antoinette is said to have remarked about her starving subjects who were demanding bread, "Let then eat cake," our elected Democratic members of Congress are in effect saying of Americans, "Let them ride bikes." -- It's Time for Rage - HUMAN EVENTS
"500 years ago, oil was not a resource. Neither was uranium. People around at the time didn't know how to use them. Things that weren't resources became resources. Our ability to use new resources made old resources obsolete. Now, no home in the UK needs to burn wood for heat, for example. Or, as Bjorn Lomborg has put it, the Stone Age didn't come to an end because we ran out of stones." - Climate Resistance: Infinite Regress
"Seattle Police opened fire on a suspect in Downtown Seattle this morning who they say robbed a West Seattle bank wearing black shoe polish on his face and a wig." - Police shoot bank robbery suspect Seattle, Washington
So there I was, in the lion's den, calling Joe Lieberman an asshole. And people applauded and cheered. - Kos: Into the tiger's den
Kaboom: A Soldier's War Journal: News Well, LT G got the order from his chain-of-command to delete his blog. I guess no longer posting wasn't good enough.Archive survives at the link.
Howard Dean in 2004: "Military experience is vital"
"Who would you rather have in charge of the defense of the United States of America, a group of people who never served a day overseas in their life, or a guy who served his country honorably and has three Purple Hearts and a Silver Star on the battlefields of Vietnam?" McCain, by the way, has been awarded the Silver Star, the Legion of Merit, two Bronze Star Medals, a Purple Heart and the Distinguished Flying Cross.
"All the News that's Fit to Print"? How about "Yesterday's News, Spun and Bent"? - Roger's Rules - The New York Times catches up with Mark Steyn (sort of)
"Let's assume that talking on a hands-free cellphone indeed leads to higher accident rates. So I ask: What is the difference between talking over a hands-free cellphone and talking to a passenger in the car? I say there is no difference; both can present distractions. Therefore, in the name of public safety, I strongly urge -- no, demand -- that state legislatures immediately act to prohibit all talk in moving automobiles." - Donald Pittenger
Washington DC - In a sweeping 4 1/2 to 3.14159 decision with 1.35841 abstaining, the United States Supreme Court handed down a ruling this morning in the landmark Abdul the Party Clown v. U.S case, recognizing the individual rights to gun ownership by child rapists and Guantanamo detainees. The decision was immediately hailed by international human rights activists and child rape organizations..... In his dissenting opinion, Justice Antonin Scalia said "I totally fucking give up." -- iowahawk: Court Okays Gun Rights for Detainees, Child Rapists
S+ = F- (More Safety equals less Freedom)
"In government economics, supply and demand are irrelevant -- what counts are the feelings of major campaign contributors and large voting blocks. In government economics, you take money based on rate of increase of profits, not on actual profits. In government economics, you claim that a program's funding was cut because you decreased its annual rate of funding increases. In government economics, forcing businesses to increase wages is improving the free market. In government economics, you repeatedly overestimate tax revenues and economic growth and repeatedly underestimate government expenditures, interest on debt, and future obligations. There must be some secret place where government economics is taught, since it doesn't appear in university catalogs. Maybe that's what goes on at Area 51." -- Dr. T @ Coyote Blog: Economic Morons in Europe, but is Congress Much Better?
Obama was introduced by Karen Bass, the California Assembly Speaker. Donors sipped wine and bottled water. Waiters wearing black vests, white shirts and black ties served hors d'oeuvres: endive spears of brie, toasted almonds and truffle oil; tuna tartare with passion fruit ponzu and macadamia nut on wonton crisp; beef short rib skewers with Asian flavors." -- Lynn Sweet: Obama Hollywood fund-raiser. Pool reports
"In many ways nonsense is a more effective organizing tool than the truth. Anyone can believe in the truth. To believe in nonsense is an unforgeable demonstration of loyalty. It serves as a political uniform. And if you have a uniform, you have an army." - Unqualified Reservations: OL4: Dr. Johnson's hypothesis
"It's also critical that you avoid the fatal mistake of getting creative and comparing people you don't like to other evil dictators, such as Joseph Stalin or Fidel Castro. With few exceptions, white people are actually fond of almost any dictator not named Hitler...." - Stuff White People Like
Power has all the usual reasons to hide. Power is delicious, and everyone wants it. To bite into its crisp, sweet flesh, to lick its juices off your lips -- this is more than pleasure. It is satisfaction. It is fulfillment. It is meaning. The love of a bird for a caterpillar is a tenuous and passing attachment next to the bond between man and power." - Unqualified Reservations: OL7: the ugly truth about government
"A listing of books, a Web site, movies and restaurants on Friday with the Weekend Explorer column, about sites in New York associated with the photographer Weegee, referred incorrectly to Lombardi’s Pizza, at 32 Spring Street on the Lower East Side, an area where Weegee lived and worked. It sells pizza only as pies, not by the slice." - Corrections - For the Record - NYTimes.com
"Here we stand. We have squandered great wealth to defeat death -- only to find ourselves impoverished, and turning to death itself for our answers. The succubus we sought to defeat now dominates us, for she is a lusty and insatiable whore. We have sacrificed our humanity, our compassion, our empathy, our humility in the face of a force far greater than ourselves, while forgetting the power and grace and the vision which first led us and empowered us on this grand crusade. Our weapons are now turned upon us; let the slaughter begin." - Crossing That Dark River | The Doctor Is InOn the Oregon Health Plan that will pay for cancer patients to die, but not to live.
Then:
"How tough do we have it, really? Our most threatening menace is a gallon of gas that costs four dollars and sixty cents." -- House of Eratosthenes
Doing the Job American Journalism Won't Do By Counting the Jobs They Will:
Obama Media BJs To Date - "Not that there's anything wrong with that."
Marriage as it is known would have to end but couples could form mutually agreed unions. They would list their "desires, diseases, needs" on little cards and a central authority would decide who was fitted for whom. - Socialists made eugenics fashionable
It is weird how so many who claim to like Obama hope he is lying.
"And with the loss of transcendentals comes the loss of the human -- not to mention the hero, the saint, the sage. These are our fixed "vertical stars" that have always guided us up the ladder of ascent, but in the Darwinian paradigm, these are all illusions, pure and simple. Richard Dawkins is greater than Shankara. Chrisopher Hitchens is superior to Meister Eckhart. Ray Ingles is on a higher plane than Jesus. " - One Cosmos: Religious Humanism vs. Darwinist Animalism
"You know, I did not want Barack to go into politics because I thought politics was a mean business. And you know, I knew this man that I loved, he was sweet and pathetic, I thought. there was no way....... Lynn Sweet: "The View" ladies dive in to rescue Michelle Obama after she calls Barack "pathetic." UPDATE Obama spokesman Vietor said Michelle said "empathetic.""Empathetic" Yeah, right.
That punk Morgan over at House of Eratosthenes is "Hot Pants -- Upping the Ante". Oh, yeah? He says, "This can't possibly end well." Oh, yeah?
Dukes of Hazard
Wife #2
Wife #1
Girlfriend #49
wear them myself.
"I do have recollections of black women who aren't angry, and each and every single one of them is a person I know from talking face-to-face. Electronic media is a very different thing, because in that forum there are powerful nameless faceless people who get to decide what I'm ready to see. And for reasons I don't quite understand -- or maybe I do, and that's a loathsome thought by itself -- these nameless faceless people seem to think the black woman I'm ready to see has to be angry, or else I have little interest in seeing her." - House of Eratosthenes
This playset is one of the best purchases I have made for my three-year-old. In the past, when we have been stopped at roadblocks, or when during one of Daddy's arrests, he would start crying uncontrollably. Now, after playing with this for the past several months, he is perfectly docile. As an adjunct to this product, I would also recommend that you purchase the Playmobil Armed Standoff Playset, Fisher-Price Little People Battering Ram, and the Nerf Tear-Gas Canister Deployment Gun.
"Looking at Germany, then, Iran sees a country with nothing to counter the pressure of merely an implied nuclear threat. Jihadists see the linchpin of Europe, easy of access and inadvertently hospitable to operations, that will hardly punish those who fall into its hands, and that can neither accomplish on its own a flexible expeditionary response against a hostile base or sponsor, nor reply in kind to a nuclear strike. Thus the German government should be especially nervous about cargos trucked overland from the east." - Mark Helprin - The New Soft Underbelly of Europe
"Spring is in the air! Its the time of year to release your gametes into the water and make baby barnacles. But wait a second, you are a permanent fixture on a rock. Can't move. What is a young, lovestruck sessile she-male to do? Well, if you are hung like a barnacle you don't really have to move that far." -Deep Sea News : Environment Shapes Barnacle Penis
"The easy story is the one right down the hall and the easy story that "speaks to the heart" is the one that speaks directly to the writer's heart. NBC News, I'm sorry you lost a skilled colleague and a well-liked friend but he is not the news. Report his death, cry in private and get back to work. -- And man up a little, willya? It's creepy to see grown up men blathering like schoolgirls. Ew." -- Roberta X
"I hope it was a good idea to appease those Hillfems by partnering with Elizabeth Edwards on my Health Care platform. I'll let you in on a little secret, the health care plan is one of those "throw away" platforms every candidate has. We never really plan on improving or changing it, it's what we call a "filler piece" we can fall back on if we hit a hard spot. See also the Environment. I gotta run Countdown is about to start, hit me back when you get a chance. I left you a message on myspace." - vksempireofdirt.com
"The sheer repetition of lies about Bush is wearing people down. There is not a liberal in this country worthy of kissing Bush's rear end, but the weakest members of the herd run from Bush. Compared to the lickspittles denying and attacking him, Bush is a moral giant -- if that's not damning with faint praise. John McCain should be so lucky as to be running for Bush's third term. Then he might have a chance." - Ann Coulter
In Bizarro World, illegal foreign combatants are granted constitutional rights; in Bizarro World, people react to high gas prices and energy shortfalls by refusing to boost domestic capacity. - LILEKS (James) the Bleat
"Do you really think most of the halfwit 'celebrities' who contribute to my blog even know how to write a complete sentence? So really, it's not like anyone noticed when I switched to AutoBlogger anyway."
"If they bring a knife to the fight, we bring a gun," Obama said at a fundraiser in Philadelphia Friday, according to pool reports. Uh huh. I hope he also brings a gun permit, a trigger lock, and a good lawyer. And a health care plan. -- JustOneMinute: The Chicago Way
Yes. Hulk. Smash. Yes. Smash. Big Hulk smash. Smash cars. Buildings. Army tanks. Hulk not just smash. Hulk also go rarrr! Then smash again. Smash important, obviously. Smash Hulk's USP. What Hulk smash most? Hulk smash all hope of interesting time in cinema. Hulk take all effort of cinema, effort getting babysitter, effort finding parking, and Hulk put great green fist right through it. - Peter Bradshaw @ guardian.co.uk Film
"The Environmental Puritans agree with the ayatollahs on this one point: America is the Great Satan. And Obama echoes that view when he refers to our gasoline consumption, our eating, and our air-conditioning and heating as if they were sins for which we are accountable to the rest of the world.... Let me guess, though, where Obama's thermostat is set. You can't run for president and have people see you sweat."
The end. Who says scrolling is without rewards?
"I am going to stay optimistic. Chistendom can be revived -- not through political action, but by fulfilling the Great Commission with both word and deed. Good people create good culture, from which springs good government. By living the words of Our Lord, we have the hope of becoming good people; therefore, it is imperative that we concentrate all our energies on doing so. It's salt, light, and leaven that will defeat the Conspiracy."
"Pity the nation that reaches a point where it needs a Churchill to save it; but pity even more a nation that, needing a Churchill, fails to find one." - Adam Kirsch, The New York Sun
- A Fresh Heart with a Jump Start for Dick Cheney
- 330 Things I Know About the Net
- How to Make a Real Man's Magazine Cover
- The Sick Birch
- Can You Imagine?
- Oh Beautiful for Rainbowed Skies: Rare Horizontal Rainbow Over Oregon