Comments or suggestions: Gerard Van der Leun
The Man Who Loved Not Wisely But At Least Twice

Call him Carl.

Many, many years ago I founded and ran my second magazine in San Francisco. In time, I sold my share out to my partner and, flush with cash for the first time in my life, decided to move to New England with my then live-in love whom I shall always think of as "The Socialite." The Socialite's family was one of the 500 and, although fallen on hard times, they retained their position within high Eastern society because of their illustrious name. Their family seat was in Newport, Rhode Island, and The Socialite would, years later, live there with her husband and their daughters. I think about her from time to time and saw her once five years ago. She'd turned into her mother -- slim, patrician, and slightly nuts.

But this is not about her, or those white nights, or even the oh-so-social summers at Bailey's Beach. This is about Carl, the most unwise lover I ever met. I'm telling you


Posted by Vanderleun Apr 29, 2005 10:18 PM | Comments (12)  | QuickLink: Permalink
The Silhouettes

Off the beach and beyond the reef where the breakers slash,
two ships scud in silhouette, struggling towards safe harbors
over sheets of burnished pewter as the rogue wave rises.

The small town's ordered lawns, spattered
with deserted wives and businessmen,
make calm ponds of green, of vacant thoughts of green,
bordered by a planked path that curves
between the grass and the clean and sifted sand.

Once off the path our steps were quick
among the shells of ancient crabs,
the finer grind of granite,
the grey grains of bone and pearl;
among the buried beach glass, the shards
of broken promises and lives,
that, concealed beneath the wave smoothed surface,
would slash a foot set wrong an inch.
And so along the long sands we stepped,
hunched against our wind-tossed histories,
and hurried homeward in the afternoon.

Our pace, pressured as a drunken tambourine,
beat to the sound's small tide that,
cupping emerald seagrass in soft hands,
swelled within the water
as your breasts might when,
caressed by languid fingers
in a careless night, rise
in a rage of heat, up over rocks, and rip salt-flamed
all walls to ruined rubble, and remove
all drowned and rusted monuments to navigation,
that once out of chains the soul chimes
to free the fettered mind from memory that it sing,
and louder sing, until light is taken out of dark,
drowning all of was to raise in dawn what is,
that trumpets scorch the stones and scatter then,
like ancient bones tossed into ash, all the past
lashed onto the slow sea swell withdrawing ,
drowning them down in the eel's dank lair,
into that damp oblivion the stars create
by shining on the waters of the moon.

To drown in one great wave the shore,
the grass, and all the waste of was.
To leave the past annihilate,
as waves once spent, forget their water,
erasing footprints, ash and embers,
single feathers curved for flight,
become glass shadows on the tide moist grass,
or fading fog on silver plashed,
or the listless lift of empty hands,
or the dream sealed in the stone.

(Her skin glowing with a scatter of stars,
the untraced map of forsaken constellations.
Her taste, the tang of seafoam and copper fading
into blue behind the high cirrus.
Her kisses like the pale glimmer of cave fish
born to blindness in the caverns of the sea.
Her thoughts, pale flickers of farewell.)

On the horizon, two trim ships,
their sails set full in silhouette,
merged, and then passed,
and then sailed into the distances

and drowned.

                                    --Crystal Cove, Laguna Beach 2005

Posted by Vanderleun Apr 27, 2005 3:58 PM | Comments (4)  | QuickLink: Permalink
Closing Time

She was cruising down the Big Sur coast,
Looking for a little romance.
I was walking the edge of Highway One,
Hoping for a second chance.

She pulled that Ford to the side of the road.
I opened the door, got in.
Said, "My name's Adam, baby. What's yours?"
She said, "They call me Original Sin."


Posted by Vanderleun Apr 23, 2005 8:33 AM | Comments (3)  | QuickLink: Permalink
Consulting the Oracle

Posted by Vanderleun Apr 22, 2005 7:19 PM | QuickLink: Permalink

I WILL BE ON RETREAT for eight to ten days, so there won't be any new entries during that time. If you'd like, here's a selection of essays from my archives that seem, at least to me, to have some value beyond the moment they were written. Almost all of what I write here and publish here is a first draft so they will have all the flaws commonly found in such essays. This is not, I hasten to add, a digest of the Digest. Only things selected on the run from the archives -- which are, to say the least, chaotic:


Posted by Vanderleun Apr 10, 2005 7:01 PM | Comments (2)  | QuickLink: Permalink
Thoughts While Waking, Showering and Shaving

While I Was Sleeping

BEING NO LONGER COMPELLED to follow every trend of pop music, I missed the moment when the ability to actually sing was removed as a basic requirement for performance, adulation and success. This is not to say I was deaf to the merger of street-corner doo-wop with "doing the dozens" that occurred somewhere during the time when break-dancing on stained cardboard was the money-raising rage on New York streets. Neither was I deaf to the Punk Rock triumph when the ability to play the electric guitar well was deemed to exist once one had learned three, and only three, chords. Nor did I neglect to notice the rise of Rap from it's origin in failed grammar classes in our more deeply disturbed schools of the inner cities.

But everyone has to sleep sometime and while I was sleeping it seems that the ability to sing was tossed out right behind the three chords. The result, if various television and radio spots and commercials are to be credited, is that pop music has become the apotheosis of affirmative entertainment action. No talent other than an obsessive loggorhea of doggerel seems to be required. Song itself has been effectively banished.


Posted by Vanderleun Apr 10, 2005 9:26 AM | Comments (2)  | QuickLink: Permalink
Blog Suite

When I write blog
I am moved by strange whistles and wear a hat

When I write blog
I am the hunter. My prey leaps out from where it
hid, beguiling me with gestures

When I write blog
all may command me, yet I am in command of all who do

When I write blog
I am guided by voices descending from the naked air

When I write blog
A revelation of movement comes to me. They wake now.
Now they want to work or look around. Now they want
drunkenness and heavy food. Now they contrive to love.

When I write blog
I bring the sailor home from the sea. In the back of
my car he fingers the pelt of his maiden

When I write blog
I watch for stragglers in the urban order of things.

When I write blog
I end the only lit and waitful things in miles of
darkened houses

-- Apologies to Lew Welch who disappeared. (Wherever he may be, God rest and keep his Beat soul.)

Posted by Vanderleun Apr 3, 2005 5:21 PM | Comments (3)  | QuickLink: Permalink
Itunes and Apple Come Out as Anti-American and Anti-God

OF THE MANY MILLIONS OF SONGS AVAILABLE ON ITUNES, it is more than just an accident that this one is being given away free at present in the "Alternative" category** : When The President Talks To God

When the president talks to God
Does he ever think that maybe he's not?
That that voice is just inside his head
When he kneels next to the presidential bed
Does he ever smell his own bullshit
When the president talks to God?

At the link above are the complete lyrics to this jejune and uninspired rant that catalogs the ever-revolving whines of the "oppressed" lunatics that pass themselves off as a genuine opposition party. We expect this from them. They literally have nothing else to offer other than unceasing blather in the same well-worn ruts. It's one thing to sell this song, but it is quite another to pander to these sentiments by giving them away in the midst of millions of others that you sell for 99 cents. That's not marketing, that's a statement of corporate policy.


Posted by Vanderleun Apr 2, 2005 3:33 PM | Comments (10)  | QuickLink: Permalink

Avalon, Catalina Island, 01/02/03

In these five years in what I've spent and earned:
Time does not finish a poem.
Upon the old amusement pier I watch
The creeping darkness gather in the west.
Above the giant funhouse and the ghosts
I hear the seagulls call. They're going west
Toward some great Catalina of a dream
Out where the poem ends.
                                             But does it end?
The birds are still in flight. Believe the birds."

-- Jack Spicer, Imaginary Elegies, 1950-55

Posted by Vanderleun Apr 2, 2005 1:40 PM | Comments (1)  | QuickLink: Permalink
Pix and Fonts Newspapers Won't Make It

GLENN REYNOLDS points to the now common tale of newspaper circulation woes published today in the Wall Street Journal: "Newspaper Circulation Continues Decline, Forcing Tough Decisions." The article cites the new numbers coming out on the decline in newspapers circulations across the board that are dire enough to be called hemorrhagic. And while it is obvious that something has to be done to stop the bleeding, everything that is being done seems to open the vein wider.

You know this if you still take and are paying at least passing attention to your local newspaper. It has, you've probably noticed, become more colorful and jazzy in the last few years. It has gone from "Just give the news please" to "Here's a lot of nifty color pictures, graphs, and charts and other PIX along with a fresh selection from our bottomless FONTS collection." I call this the PIX & FONTS DAILY -- a way of presenting something that is supposed to be a "paper on which is printed the news" as a dog's dinner of "Graphics Gone Wild." Pulling the news out of this fornication festival of visual white noise is becoming, really, far too much of a chore. And yet the papers, scared out of being themselves by television news, persist in trying to reinvent themselves as TV news that doesn't move and has no sound.

The sections on pop culture have become popsier. The sections on the home have become homier. Large headlines have become larger, pull-quotes more numerous until they march across the page like some many infolet islands. If it has a comics sections more panels have come in and it has probably expanded to two pages jammed with gag strips but fewer continuing story strips. The front page, especially above the fold, has become not a quick scan of the important and interesting news of the day before, but a kind of carny display of fascinating featurettes you will find inside if you will only ("Please!") take the time to read them.


Posted by Vanderleun Apr 2, 2005 6:52 AM | Comments (7)  | QuickLink: Permalink
The Passion of the Pope

[Republished without revision from March 7, 2005]

MORE FEARFUL NOW THAN DEATH, to those fortunate enough to live in the First World, is a long decay before death. We fear mortality but we fear a long morbidity before mortality more.

Living wills. Increases in approved euthanasia in many nations. Personal hordes of pills, "just in case." "Senior care" warehouses to sustain us; to fill us with tubes and place us in a bed that monitors our internals that the least little slide towards death triggers alarms and the staff scuttles in to haul our shattered bodies back again. Rinse and repeat until our 'living' will or tired family frees us. All these are our shared horror show of which we know but seldom speak.

We live more and more, but more and more we do not know how to die.

To teach us this thing the Pope will now enact the lesson, if we have eyes to see and ears to hear. His is the ancient church that, teaching First Things in ways many now no longer care to hear, teaches us now about Last Things in ways that many fear to learn. And it is the leader of that Church who, as he


Posted by Vanderleun Apr 2, 2005 12:22 AM | Comments (23)  | QuickLink: Permalink
New York Times Picks Up Borders CEO Letter


Click to enlarge.

Covering the web-wide kerfuffle and building blogger-led boycott of Borders since our publication of the Borders CEO's personal letter to leading bloggers yesterday (See item directly below this one.) the opening text reads:

Borders Blasts Back On Controversial Cartoons
Published: March 31, 2006

Filed at 11:59 p.m. ETNew York, Mar. 31 - Gregory Josefowicz, the combative chairman of Borders Books, blasted back at his on-line critics today in a scathing on-line letter singling out right-wing blogger Charles Johnson of "Little Green Footballs".

FULL STORE AT: Borders Blasts Back On Controversial Cartoons

Posted by Vanderleun Apr 1, 2005 8:11 AM | Comments (10)  | QuickLink: Permalink
G2E Media GmbH



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By Mail: Gerard Van der Leun | 6616-D Clark Road #176 | Paradise, CA 95969

If my child were ever killed in such an attack,

I would go on a God-damned (and I don’t make this invocation lightly) one man Crusade for vengeance.
God may have said “vengeance is mine” but I would damn my soul to Hell to get even with anybody who attacked my family. So the passivity and magical invocations of the Progressives grates on my nerves. It’s disgustingly naive and utterly insane. It is the man who passively bows down to his executioner instead of fighting to the last. I don’t understand it. I can’t fathom it.Candlelight Progressive Magic... Again | Declination

Everybody Must Get Chipped!


Swedish Tech Company Implants Microchips in Employees Bodies to Make Their Lives Easier
“We already interact with technology all the time,” Epicenter employee Hannes Sjoblad told the BBC, in 2015. “Today it’s a bit messy – we need pin codes and passwords. Wouldn’t it be easy to just touch with your hand? That’s really intuitive.” “We want to be able to understand this technology before big corporates and big government come to us and say everyone should get chipped – the tax authority chip, the Google or Facebook chip,” Hannes added, convinced that this way he will be able to question the way the technology is implemented from a position of much greater knowledge.

The Revolution has moved onto a new phase.

In the French Revolution, after the White Terror, the Constitution of 1795 established The Directory.
This was the start of a new phase in which the lower classes were mostly ignored, as the new ruling class consolidated its power. That may be what we are seeing with our managerial class as they largely ignore the results of recent elections and enforce discipline in their own ranks. Ruminations On The Way Down The Mountain | The Z Blog

A Window Looking Over "Happy Acres" is Here


Tumblr killed off his site there without warning. Twitter still tolerates him, but Twitter will purge him.
For now he's at: HappyAcres (@HappyHectares) | Twitter I tried to tell him that he needs to get his own platform. If on Twitter tell him too. We will need the sites we like to survive and not be killed off by Jack and other Neojacobins of his ilk.

Trump was a political asteroid impact


The idea that someone who shakes parmesan from a can contravened the wishes of those who can taste the difference between serrano and iberico Jamón is simply unacceptable.
Maxine Waters, Nacy Pelosi, Barbra Boxer and Al Green, are so far removed from traditional America as to be alien life forms. Outside of the 6 -7 major media/political centers in the US, the rest of the population simply do not factor into the equation until election time returns. The Price of Delegitimization – The Virginia Freeman's Society

" This is Topic A -- and there is no Topic B until further notice... "

Manchester: This Time They Came for Our Children

Politicians and the media particularly must face reality. We may not like it but we are at war. You should behave accordingly. This is Topic A -- and there is no Topic B until further notice... that is unless you want Manchester actually to be the "new normal." It pretty much is already. How horrible is that for all of us, how horrible for our children. Why don't we all get together and put an end to it? It's even more important than impeaching Trump.

The truth of the matter is that modern universities are not in the business of leader-making.

Our leaders these days come from other places, or other times;
because our institutions of higher learning have turned their energy to licensing managers to serve as the officers of our managerial oligarchy. According to Patrick Dennan, students these days are “…the culmination of western civilization, a civilization that has forgotten nearly everything about itself, and as a result, has achieved near-perfect indifference to its own culture.” If You Don’t Read Books… | Joel D. Hirst's Blog

"We won’t need to build new holding cells on Guantanamo Bay this time."

In this case, the visuals will be provided by future terror attacks.

That reinforces the “evil” part, obviously. But more importantly, the Losers will be doing nothing but losing on the battlefield from now until “annihilation.” They are surrounded, and the clock is ticking. Oh, and the press isn’t allowed to watch the final battles. In other words, we won’t need to build new holding cells on Guantanamo Bay this time. No press means no prisoners, if you know what I mean. (American soldiers won’t be shooting the prisoners. We have allies for that sort of thing.)Goodbye ISIS, Hello Losers | Scott Adams' Blog

How To Make It As A Left-Wing Polemicist

Has your novel just not flowed from your fingertips like you’d imagined?
Does each year of being an adjunct professor feel less fulfilling than the last? Starting to think that no amount of Adderall can launch you past the boredom of your role as a research assistant? Could it be that so much time has passed since you last picked up your guitar that it wouldn’t even be possible to get the old band back together again?

Do you seek validation? Are you hungry for permanent and hip confrontational posturing? Still having dreams about the glory of radical nonconformity? Eager to purge your upper-middle class and white guilt? Want to do something new with your life, but want to rely on the skills you already have instead of learning new ones?

I’ve got just the thing for you: become a left-wing critic of the mainstream American Left. It’s easy, really, and no matter what, your Twitter following will increase at least five-fold. How To Make It As A Left-Wing Polemicist - Social Matter

The Japanese. Nuked Too Much or Sleeping with the Fish?


Japan's adult wrapping wellness trend is so weird it's creeping out the Japanese people | SoraNews24
In otona maki, participants lie down on a large, sheet-like piece of cloth. An attendant then wraps them up snugly, leaving their face completely obscured their knees tucked up near their waist, and their overall posture resembling the fetal position. The only openings are two small gaps near the participants’ midsection, left over from how the cloth is tied.

I am the king of lost places.


Nowhere-land. The triangular mud minarets of Sankore Mosque in Timbuktu, in front of that silent sandy plaza that used to host a university, back when life in Timbuktu had significance.
A Catholic seminary converted into a hostel in the old Belgian administrative center called Lubero tucked in the highlands of eastern Congo – blue helmets and razor wire waiting to accept the genocidaire; monsters who had decided upon the extinguishing of another race. Eating escargot and drinking warm beer with the priests. The cement and zinc-roofed house of a witch in a village in northern Nicaragua, sitting in front of her on a rocking chair imploring her to release the sick under her spell so I could take them for hospital care. The King of Lost Places | Joel D. Hirst's Blog

Occupation of a defeated America

would take a form other than garrisoning huge numbers of troops and running the place as a prison camp, the standard motif of doomer movies and novels.
The likeliest would be a Vichy-type puppet government that took care to mimic our current structure and outward forms. Just as in France, they'd have little trouble finding reliable, unprincipled opportunists already in place and eager to serve. Woodpile Report

"Black Lives Matter might more accurately be named White Killers Matter,

because it only seems to care about black lives that are ended by white people.

And that, of course, is because Black Lives Matter isn’t about justice, but about racial agitation."
But the routine taking of black lives by other blacks generates no interest in the mainstream media. Forty-three hundred people, including two dozen children under the age of 12, were shot in Chicago last year. Had 4,300 white people been shot, there would have been a revolution, and the media would have set up headquarters in the city to cover the breakdown of law and order. But because the victims were nearly all black, few pay attention—besides the police. Some Black Lives Don’t Matter | City Journal

The Way It Is

They ain't gonna do jack shitski.
At least nothing of physical context to anyone, cept maybe a couple pisswillys that needed it. On a large scale, say, several hundred people? Not hardly. Look cross eyed at em and they'll be slip-slidin in their own loose fecal matter. Then, with gas mask applied and industrial grade boot covers, just walk amongst them with a 28" Louisville Slugger crackin heads in both directions. Posted by: ghostsniper at May 20, 2017 8:25 PM

If they do break Trump, I don't think the genie goes back in the bottle.
I think the days of leftist pissants grinding our faces in the dirt under the threat of government coercion are over. How it will evolve, I don't know but I don't think it will be peaceful. Posted by: Bill Cox at May 21, 2017 5:13 AM
The Top 40: This is not about Donald Trump’s alleged character defects.

Why do many people want to deny us our past?

Why does the brutishness of our ancestors offend so?

And why do the stories of tremendous resilience, of family and purpose and fight and faith offend them? We are told that because they were not perfect – that they held prejudice in their hearts or often misbehaved – we are not to look to them; certainly not as a means to better understand ourselves. As if we are not even now brutish and vile – albeit in different ways. As if the progress we have been sold, so carefully scraped of all vestiges of the past, is even healthy – even progress at all really, instead of another dark age served to us by know-nothings.Castles, Civilizations and the Know-Nothings | Joel D. Hirst

Memes that Make You Go, "Hummmmm..."

House of Eratosthenes

Two New Things Under the Sun

Louis Réard, the inventor of bikini, with a model in 1946.
He named his creation after the Bikini Atoll, which was the site of nuclear weapon tests, as he felt his new swimsuit would create an “explosive commercial and cultural reaction.”

Why the C-130 Is Such a Badass Plane


Designed to carry only 90 paratroopers, the Hercules's belly was bursting with far more people than that.
Its lone pilot, a VNAF major, pushed its four Allison T56 turboprops to full throttle and began his takeoff down the 10,000 foot runway. At the opposite end of the runway, the airplane still hadn't taken wing. But in the runway's 1000-foot overrun, the C-130 staggered into the air. After a harrowing flight, it touched down three and a half hours later at U Tapao Royal Thai AB, southeast of Bangkok. On the ramp, American personnel were visibly surprised as they watched 452 people disembark. With herculean effort, the C-130 had lifted more than 20,000 pounds above its operational limit. -- Popular Mechanics

This is not about Donald Trump’s alleged character defects.

The Resistance would have arisen against whoever represented Americans who had voted not to be governed as they have been for the past quarter-century.
It is a cold civil war against a majority of the American people and their way of life. The members of the Resistance mean to defend their power. Their practical objective is to hamper and otherwise delegitimize 2016’s winners. Their political objective is to browbeat Trump voters into believing they should repent and yield to their betters. This campaign might break the Trump presidency. The Cold Civil War

Racism: The Last Refuge of Us All?

Race is what you cling to when you have no meaningful achievements of your own to display.
It’s a safe space for the unaccomplished. That’s why there’s been such an explosion of racism on the left, especially among some of its less successful demographic groups. When you have nothing to offer, or when you just don’t want to make the effort to be successful or productive, well…at least you have your skin. And the left has proved to be expert at making everything about skin. With so many layabouts, welfare cases, entitlement whores, and blame shifters among the masses, leftist intellectuals in politics, the media, and academia gain lots of traction by continually reassuring certain constituencies, “Hey, man, your skin color makes you special! Your skin color makes you deserving!” - David Cole

No. Just No.


Uniquely Designed Jeans That Easily Convert Into High Cut Shorts Either In Front or On the Side

“Weapons are the tools of power.

In the hands of the state, they can be the tools of decency or the tools of oppression, depending on the righteousness that state.
In the hands of criminals, they are the tools of evil. In the hands of the free and decent citizen, they should be the tools of liberty. Weapons compound man’s power to achieve whatever purpose he may have. They amplify the capabilities of both the good man and the bad, and to exactly the same degree, having no will of their own. Thus, we must regard them as servants, not masters–and good servants of good men. Without them, man is diminished, and his opportunities to fulfill his destiny are lessened. An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it.” — Attributed to Col. Jeff Cooper [via Power Tools – waka waka waka]


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