September 21, 2007

Heartbreaker: I am not a lesbian! I am a free man!

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"I did not have sexual relations with that woman!"

Untold thousands of Americans suffering Lesbian Bed Death had their hopes for a cure crushed today when Presidential hopeful Hillary revealed that she was not, at long last, one of them after all.

Hillary Clinton: "I'm not a lesbian."

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At the same time, tens of millions of Americans suffering from Heterosexual Bed Death were not feeling all that well either.

Sean Kennedy, the gay magazine's news and features editor, asked the presidential candidate, "How do you respond to the occasional rumor that you're a lesbian?"....

Sen. Clinton (D-N.Y.) replied. "It's not true, but it is something that I have no control over."

Kennedy told the Daily News he's convinced. "I 100% believe she's a straight, heterosexual woman," he said.

The followup question, "Are you gay?," was not asked.

Also unprobed in the interview was the persistent Internet rumor that she was in an ebay bidding war with her husband for BARBRA STREISAND'S VERY SHEER RED BRA .

Developing....

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Posted by Vanderleun at September 21, 2007 10:46 AM | TrackBack
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

Hmm. I knew Streisand was a red diaper baby, but I didn't know about the red dapper boobies.

Posted by: Gagdad Bob at September 21, 2007 12:14 PM
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