The Trinity: Sorta Female, Sorta Black, Sorta Gay

Let's just get it over with, okay? I'm sick of it. You're sick of it. The whole damn country is sick of it. The "coming" election, that is.

The only problem is that the election is more than a year off and everybody, including the candidates, is so sick of it I expect projectile vomiting contests to replace the "debates" in order to garner an audience somewhere north of negative numbers.

So let's just cut the crap and, with a minor adjustment in one candidate's candor and another small alteration in the US Constitution, get those worthy democrats into office and on with the business of running the country, the world, and your life.

By turns:

Minor adjustment in candidate candor. It is, to put it bluntly, time for John Edwards to come out. Indeed, he should come out even if he isn't gay because, frankly, that's the only way he has a hope of getting elected to anything. It just makes no sense for all those working for John, from his wife to the lowliest blogger, to keep getting up every morning and hauling ass around the country pretending this man is going to be President. Waste of money and time all around. The only way John Edwards can rivet the attention of the nation is by admitting, at last, he is gay -- even if he isn't.

The reason for this is clear. It will give the Democrats a 100% lock on the disaffected in America. And since there are evidently more Americans unhappy with their lot than content, this will assure victory when he joins the ticket with the other two candidates. Yes, "the other two candidates." That beings us to the....

Small adjustment in the US Constitution. This one we should be able to handle by fiat either by just having Gallup run a poll and amending in that way, or getting the New York Times to write a strongly worded editorial.

The way I see it, this country just isn't small enough to be handled by one man/woman/mascot. It needs at least three bozos to get anywhere and to have all the diverse whiners, carpers, and complainers heard and mollified.

We need to have 3 people on any single slate of candidates for president. But it shouldn't be called a troika (too Russian), nor a menage a trois (far too French and perverse). Nope. We need to enter, finally, the New America and get ourselves a threefer' !

And when you think that way, what party can give us a better threefer' today than the Democrats? I mean, all the Republicans can muster -- even if Fred does mosey on in -- is "White," "Male," "Bald."

Not really a great bit of casting is it?

But the Democrats are ready for "The Age of the Threefer'." They've been studying troikas and menage a trois since college. They are up to speed. It looks like this:

Is that a winning ticket or what? All that has to happen is that Edwards needs to be taken aside and told, "Hey, John, it's time you took one for the team. So to speak."

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Posted by Vanderleun at August 10, 2007 2:38 PM | TrackBack
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