Oh Great Goracle
(All praise be to Thee),
I here pray fervently.
Abide with me
in my 65 degree house.
Illuminate my soul
as I read by the light
of my 20 watt bulb.
Warm me with thy good cheer
as I bask in my cold shower.
Be the wind at my back
as I dutifully bike
20 miles to work.
I have been thy good servant
and done all, nay even more,
than Thou hast asked of me.
Surely I will be rewarded
with your blessings from on high
as you pass over
in your glorious Green Jet.
Oh Goracle (All praise be to Thee)
use your mighty powers
to insure that all we little people
will be forced to contribute
to the great cause of saving Earth
so we may all, each and every one,
suffer equally in this most worthy cause.
All this I ask in the name
of the Great Goracle,
saviour of our globe from the evil CO2.
Amen (or "Apersons" as you may prefer)
by American Digest commenter "Jimmy J."
Posted by Vanderleun at February 27, 2007 10:49 PM | TrackBackGood one!
Praise be the great Goracle!
Lately as I've realized the error in my gas-guzzling ways, I've been seeking solace with the Global Warming Prayer (see link). I offer it to you and your readers in the name of peace and carbon credits:
“Dear Gaia, I know that I am a sinner on my way to Hell — a hot planet. I know that I have no hope in myself. I repent of my sins, and show this by turning away from them, selling my car, and walking to You in faith, as my Lord and Savior. I trust in the shed ice of Antarctica to cleanse me from my sins. I believe that you were melted, and that you froze again as You have said, and that one day, You will take me home to be with You in glory. I now accept You as my Lord and Savior. Thank You for saving my soul. In Marx’s name, Amen.”
Posted by: southchild at February 28, 2007 5:08 PMRumor has it that the Great Goracle wears a sable bathrobe.
Posted by: JeriSue at February 28, 2007 9:04 PMBrought to you by The Church of the Immaculate Environment (UN Synod). Tenzel would approve - leave your tithe in the kiosk on the way out. "As your check clears the bank, your carbon footprint will be blank!"
Posted by: Stratrat at March 1, 2007 9:18 AMTodays Journal reported that Gores 10,000 sq ft mansion in tennesee uses more electricity in one month than the average American household uses in a year. Between that , the private jet travel, and all the limo's , the man has a carbon footprint like a giant Wackinarial!
Posted by: flannelputz at March 1, 2007 1:10 PMThus Spake Gorasthustra
Posted by: G. Weightman at March 1, 2007 7:10 PM"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated to combat spam and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.