I'VE BEEN MEANING TO WRITE something other than my typical cheap shots at the Moonbat Tribes of Seattle, but new blogger "AskMom" has beat me to it with: The Genesis of the Norg.
Of course, having a family that has lived here for generations, she has a bit of a jump on me. Still, the essay will turn a lot of the things you think you know about Seattle on their head:
Seattle, the Stealth City that, dare I say it, rules the world from within a Volvo limo with smoked windows and the very finest in fleece upholstery. Posted by Vanderleun at March 4, 2006 1:24 PM | TrackBackOther places have small pockets of communal culture, little remnants of company towns or Utopian villages clinging to viability in the modern world. In Seattle, the commune has morphed with the modern city and subsumes everything that pokes into it.
Consider that Seattle is home to three of the first-est, biggest, most successful cooperatives on earth: REI outdoor equipment, Group Health Cooperative Health Care, and Puget Consumers Co-op, a grocery supplier. Accept that three of the most smotheringly uniform retailers ever to gladden the hearts of Wall Street -- Starbucks, Nordstrom, and Costco -- were born and are cherished here. The operating system that drives and unifies the world's computers is written here at Microsoft. Remember, when you consider what a small world it is, that without the Boeing Company it would be a much more disconnected one. As you decry the reality that everyone from Timbuktu to Kokomo is reading the same chunky meaningless bestseller, notice that it's Amazon who sells them.
"Fleece upholstery!"
Now that is a damned good idea!
Posted by: Raw Data at March 4, 2006 3:58 PMIt goes without saying, in Seattle at least, that anything worth making is twice as good with fleece. You wonder when someone is going to sell a fleece checkbook cover - so handy for wringing dry those tech stock options that have been under water since 2001.
There's already a fleece cover for the most unmentionable of all body parts. Surely this will be the "must have" accessory for Academy Awards Parties here in Latteland; perfectly merging Northwest practicality with mandatory homoerotic chic.
Posted by: AskMom at March 5, 2006 12:34 AMThe most popular roleplaying game in the world is published in the Seattle area. And it tries to cover everything that might happen with a set of rules almost as comprehensive (and befuddling) as the U.S. tax code. Given that ideologies are founded and controlled by people with control issues, this make too much distressing sense.
Posted by: Alan Kellogg at March 5, 2006 10:18 PMIf you don't like the Seattle area because it's littered with "moonbats," why not move to a state where you'll feel more at home?
Kansas?
Posted by: E T Spoon at March 6, 2006 7:27 AMYou sir, and I do not say this lightly, are a complete idiot. I could explain why but the number of keystrokes I am willing to expend on that task ends at this period.
Posted by: Gerard Van der Leun at March 6, 2006 6:19 PMSorry to say he's: right. Seattle was a fine city until it was over/run with the Dolphin Free Tuna Goddess crap. And hell, fleece free people could actually afford to live here. Used to be we could drive down town and do something called park, go to a show (affordable) and head home.
Now we have the Fleece lined brain clan running things. And it is screw time.
The vanishing breed of Seattle are people that work for a living unless you want to call 15 year old wages, ok. Which I think Gerard: you do.
Go have a tuna sand-witch, when you hear a big explosion, not to worry, it is just your head popping out of you ass.
Posted by: hanpi at March 8, 2006 12:19 AM"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated to combat spam and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.