January 21, 2006

The Kos is Either at Your Throat or at Your Knees

A NEW ARRIVAL IN THE SYCOPHANTS' HALL OF FAME TODAY IS Markos Alberto Moulitsas ("Screw 'Em") Zuniga, the hyperthyroid Janitor and lead ranter at The Daily Kos. (Am I the only one who thinks that "The Daily 'Koz' " sounds like some sort of rough and clensing Serbian high colonic? )

Kos has recently scored what must be a fluffy feather in his commodious backside with the advent of John Kerry starring in "I, Blogger". Of course, the question of whether or not the functionally illiterate John Kerry is actually pounding out the keystrokes for this Kos "Diary," or if that is left to a lackey or other low functionary is not entirely beside the point. My money is on a web monkey of some sort since the laying in of links and the terse paragraphing simply shrieks "staffing." Besides, how would an "important" man like John Kerry have time for blogging, what with his duties of not drafting legislation in the Senate, mapping out his plan to rule the world in 2008, and his decanting of his wife's third bottle of wine before tiffin all competing for his precious seconds?

No, the interesting tale of this tapeworm is not the actual blogging of the Kerrybot, but the fact that he's evidently been readmitted into the National Socialist Democratic Party of Markos Alberto Moulitsas ("Screw 'Em") Zuniga. It seems like only yesterday that Kos was calling out to have Kerry shot to death:

Daily Kos: What the hell happened

But what makes me angry was Kerry and his gang's inability to take advantage of the situation. I may regret saying this later, but fuck it -- they should be lined up and shot. There's no reason they should've lost to this joker.

Hey, come to think of it, it was only yesterday. Or at least, yesterelection.

Ah, how the mighty have fallen. From the standard bearer of the once mighty Democratic party, John Kerry -- presently less visible than Al Gore -- has been reduced to sucking up to Markos Alberto

Moulitsas ("Screw 'Em") Zuniga.

But wait, maybe its the other way around since it is always difficult to discover who is sucking up to who in the new and ever expanding daisy chain of the amazingly shrinking Democratic party.

Perhaps it is indeed Markos Alberto Moulitsas ("Screw 'Em") Zuniga who is at the knees of John Kerry. After all, Kerry is still sitting on millions in campaign donations from the most recent Democrat's debacle. And then there's his wife who is, quite literally, sitting on millions more gleaned from dead husbands of yesteryear. It seems to me that a career opportunist and bounder such as Markos Alberto Moulitsas ("Screw 'Em") Zuniga would not be slow to recognize that, going into the next round of Democrat debacles, the Heinz-Kerry's represent a fountain of funding still too tainted for traditional Democrats to quaff.

What easier way for a man without scruples, such as Markos Alberto Moulitsas ("Screw 'Em") Zuniga, to move towards a rich foamy bowl of funding then to give John Kerry a bullysh*t pulpit when nobody else will even give the man the courtesy of a reach-around? And the beauty of it is that it costs Markos Alberto Moulitsas ("Screw 'Em") Zuniga nothing at all. In fact, I'll bet that the "Take John Kerry out and shoot him" moment didn't come up at all in the discussions. Still, it would be nice to know which case of vintage chardonnay Markos Alberto Moulitsas ("Screw 'Em") Zuniga gave to Teresa to ease his way back into her graces.

It all brings to mind Kos as the Alan J. Lerner character who was described as: "Oozing charm from every pore, he oiled his way across the floor."
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Note: For a rich and full-bodied report on John Kerry starring in "I, Blogger" see Alexandra von Maltzan's Daily Kos Is A Mouthpiece For Kerry's Campaign from "All Things Beautiful."

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Posted by Vanderleun at January 21, 2006 4:00 PM | TrackBack
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

All Things Beautiful TrackBack Daily Kos Is A Mouthpiece For Kerry's Campaign

"... Gerard van der Leun @ The American Digest is deciding whether Daily Kos is at our throats or indeed at our knees. With the famously long socialist arm, I wager our [K]ossack tries to do both."

Posted by: Alexandra at January 22, 2006 4:59 AM

From the Department of Strange Coincidences:

When I read Mr. Zuniga's full name for the first time, I was immediately struck by the initials: M A M Z. That in turn led me to the Hebrew word, mamzer, generally translated as “bastard” but more specifically “one born of an incestuous or adulterous relationship”.

Posted by: Dave Schuler at January 22, 2006 5:40 AM

Outstanding and very clever Dave. Gave me a good laugh which I really needed today after Gerard posted all those links reminding me of the realities of the War against muslim fascism. Iran should be in the crosshairs. I say we get it done now rather than wait when it will become infinitely more difficult.

Regarding that dog, John Kerry - I so wish he would just go away. What a maroon. I used to have friends in Massachusetts years ago but lost touch. What the hell happened up there? How can they continue to elect Kerry and Kennedy? What do they see in those two buffoons? One is a traitor and the other is an unindicted felon. Please explain, anyone?

Posted by: Chester at January 22, 2006 7:52 AM

"What the hell happened up there? How can they continue to elect Kerry and Kennedy? What do they see in those two buffoons? One is a traitor and the other is an unindicted felon. Please explain, anyone?"

I asked a lifelong Bostonian that once. He was a liberal but with neocon leanings, so I thought maybe he would be frank with me. "They bring home the pork" he said.

Posted by: Yehudit at January 22, 2006 8:19 AM

I confess to being fond of Kos. Everything he touches turns to mud.

I don't think a single candidate he's supported has got elected.

Keep up the good work, there, Kos.

Posted by: Eric Blair at January 22, 2006 8:27 AM

No, the interesting tale of this tapeworm is not the actual blogging of the Kerrybot, but the fact that he's evidently been readmitted into the National Socialist Democratic Party of Markos Alberto Moulitsas ("Screw 'Em") Zuniga. It seems like only yesterday that Kos was calling out to have Kerry shot to death

This is like Sinatra welcoming Elvis back from the Army. I just can't tell which one is which in this case.

Posted by: Jeff Cook at January 27, 2006 10:47 PM

This site has pathetically few posters and readers because of posts like this. Though Eric Blair there likes to say Kos isn't effective, all we have to do is point to the fact that Hackett almost one in an incredibly red area thanks to the hard work of kos's posters and people going out.

In terms of some other comments above, they merely show you're sillyness in resorting to namecalling like "kerrybot" or calling Kos himself names.

If this article were paper, I'd throw it in the round file, right where it belongs.

By the way, I'm not a kerrybot or a kozbot--just a person who hates smearbots like you.

Posted by: Tia at February 10, 2006 6:46 AM
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