July 19, 2004

Demo-Demento-Depression ® : Just Say "Medicate!"

AS DIFFICULT AS IT IS TO IDENTIFY with the hamstrung, sold-out, and Gobstoppered Republicans currently dissipating electoral power in Washington, it must be much more difficult to be a classic Democrat these days. On some level it has simply got to make you sick.

The Democrat Disease has many manifestations but now most often presents as "Semantic Dementia " -- progressive and with no known cure. Not even a telethon. And as Republicans continue to refuse to step up to the plate and take a manly cut at the Big Whiffle Ball in the White House Tee Ball & Pack the Court Festival, the disease seems to be leaping the blood-brain barrier and infecting previously sane people. These tendencies need to be spotted and treated at the point of infection before the virus

settles in the host. While it is true that "everybody wants to get you down in the hole that they're in," just because you have compassion for the afflicted is no reason to bed down with them in the ICU.

At a small conference I attended on Sunday I noted that more than one of those in the room introduced themselves as a "recovering Democrat." The only self-avowed "liberal Democrat" in the room was one Kevin Drum, but since he has made a tidy career out of this retro-identification he was issued a hall pass.

What was notable about this group was that, although identified with Conservatives, Libertarians and Republicans (the ostensible party in power), it found it almost impossible, at lunch and during breaks, to talk about politics in a way that did not let the current manifestation of the Democrats' depression and dementia drive the conversation.

This month that means "Karl Rove" and/or "Rove, Karl" until your teeth burst into flame and your head implodes like a gut-shot television. Maddening until you
understood the origins of the discussion were not to be found in reality but in the fantasied utopias of the Democrat mindset. The nature of clinical depression and dementia is that, if enough people manifest the behavior consistently, it becomes communicable. The result of this transference is a compulsion to emulate the infected Democrats and actually engage their current favored fantasy as if it was something more substantial than a drunken dwarf spider's single-strand web across your front door on a sunny summer morn.

Sane people would listen for a moment to the Karl Rove mantra and reply, "Okay. Fine. I hear you. Bottom line: you've got nothing and are repeating the nothing you've got. Consult current medication dosage and increase. Then seek new professional help because the talking part of this cure just ain't making it. Moving right along now, how about those Mets?"

This, of course, does not happen since the compulsively political class is also the compulsively nattering class. It has been since all its members, of whatever party, ran for and lost the election for hall monitor in the sixth grade. Hence, it tends to natter on about whatever is put in front of it and labeled "Political Issue du Jour: Would You Like the Five-Minute Argument or the Whole Decade?" Like a skin rash, these sort of discussions tend to come out in the summer.

But since you can become what you behold, I'd caution fellow Independents and Republicans about engaging every manifestation of "Demo-Demento-Depression ® ". Not only does it burn up the time available in office for doing real things, it can transform you. If you engage long enough, you can become the one thing in American life that is currently even more depressing than being a Democrat; being a Kennedy.

Yes, it is indeed the case that "Going Kennedy" is now known to be the penultimate stage of Demo-Demento-Depression ® ; a fate even worse than not being elected since it often leads to not being elected (See "Kerry, John"). Still, a moment's reflection would lead you to an even more chilling conclusion: there now is a state of political dementia even more deadly than simply "Going Kennedy."

Think of it. A rise within the party and America beginning with the son of an Irish Immigrant becoming a successful politician in Boston. His son, with the eye on the main chance, rises higher through politics, stock speculation, bootlegging and other businesses. That man decides to create a political dynasty and has the sons and daughters and resources to do it. It begins in ernest with the election of his son, John F. Kennedy, as President, a squeaker as dubious as the Florida vote in 2000. It goes on from there through trials, tribulations, and tragedies well known to all. It goes on and it goes on and it goes on. Whole libraries are written about it. Multiple millions worship at the feet of this fantasy. It is, it seems, the stuff of American myth and legend.

And now, several decades, numerous deaths, and many millions of dollars later, the entire project has produced for the ages as its final result, the Kennedy Apotheosis in three small but hefty letters: T E D.

As I said, there are more depressing things in our politics than being a Democrat. You could always be a Kennedy. You could even be a Ted.

Other than abstinence, there's no cure.

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Posted by Vanderleun at July 19, 2004 10:07 AM | TrackBack
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

I've stopped taking the Democrats seriously.

It took a lot for that to happen - eight years of Clinton, the Florida 2000 aftermath, Rathergate... but the kicker was the Plame affair.

It was over a week ago, when the Time reporter related that Rove wasn't his source. But MSM has continued felling entire forests for print column inches to repackage the facts into conspiracy theories that would be laughed at on DU.

Watching the Dem reaction to Bush's nomination of Roberts was delicious, in a perverse, I-know-exactly-what-to-expect sort of way.

He could have appointed Sandar Day O'Connor's government-constructed clone (operation performed using stem cells stripped from euthanized Dutch babies) and it wouldn't have changed a thing.

They have no "JOIN ME" mojo. Just cynicism, fear and a broad stripe of petty viciousness of the type that alienates most Americans at a visceral level.

They can have the universities, TV, and newspapers for a little while longer. The brightest and best informed kids I've met in the last ten years never finished high school.

What is important to mark is that with Robert's confirmation and Rhenquist's immenent (sp?) departure, the Democrats are just about defeated in their generational effort to deconstruct our Constitutional system. I worried a lot on my way to these(EARLY) middle years but the feedback correction built in to our electoral system seems to have actually worked. Again. Still.

Leahy...Schumer...and Oh My GOD KENNEDY and DEAN and PELOSI...

Dean the DNC Chairman. It brings to mind the old Ed Sullivan rule: "Never Follow An Animal Act".

I don't think anyone will have to. This show is over. Oh, there's still syndication and niche markets and the cult convention circuit, of course. The papers will continue to write reviews for the benefit of the nada class, of course, but everyone else will be reading the blogs.

Posted by: TmjUtah at July 19, 2005 10:50 PM

"But since you can become what you behold..."

Uh, ok.

Posted by: The Owner's Manual at July 20, 2005 7:13 AM

Fox News tagged it best: "Rove Rage"

Posted by: StephenB at July 25, 2005 6:37 AM
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