Drive-By Weekend

• IF YOU LIKED L. RON HUBBARD'S SCIENCE FICTION, you'll love his religion!
• WHY IS GOOD DUMB? asks Spengler: "If suicide bombers drive American troops from Iraq, Bush's "war on terror" will meet an ignominious end. It will, of course, resume before long, but it will be someone else's war. "
• "I AM NOT AN ANIMAL ! :" He said he had built me, that he gave me buttock implants and fixed my ears and this is false -- I'm not the creation of a surgeon, he just did my bust and my nose.
• MOVING? CHECK OUT MOVINGSCAM.COM: "Can you recommend a good moving company?". If the answer to that question was easy, then there wouldn't be a reason for maintaining a web site called MovingScam.com.
• ODE TO MONICA S. (Manual)
• BLOGGING THE 3/9/2: >*CuTi3_Pi3 Ke3pIn' It GaNgStA!!!* < -- "MY HOMEBOY DOMINIC WAS CHASED DOWN BY 3 HISPANICS. HE WAS STABBED 9 TIMES. 2 HOURS LATER HE DIED AT THE HOSPITAL. "

• ETERNAL QUESTIONS UP FOR BID ON EBAY: "This vintage I.W. Rice Lipstick Holder (G-16248) comes with something extra, an incredible image of a human embryo in the mirror. What's it worth?….Who knows, but I imagine for the right buyer, who knows what to do with it, this figurine is a goldmine. This remarkable likeness also reflects on one of today's most important and complicated issues, the "right to life", the "right to choose", and of course, the big question everyone is asking, "When does life begin?"
• MCCAIN / RICE IN 2008 BURIES HILLARY + ANY BODY: "Arizona Senator John McCain would overwhelmingly defeat New York Senator and former First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton in a theoretical 2008 presidential match-up, a new Zogby America poll reveals."
• LILEKS, James MADE ME do this to you.
• EASY FOR YOU TO SAY: "This is not a smoking gun for superfluidity. This is a cannon."
• TASTES JUST LIKE CHICKEN: Eat Hufu - The Healthy Human Flesh Alternative! Demand is growing. Hufu creator Mark Nuckols is looking towards a land-office business: "This is kind of uncharted territory. You can't really project sales of human flesh substitute," says Nuckols. "But so far we've gotten a pretty strong reaction. I'm hoping that by mid-summer Hufu is going to be a household word."
• A NEW REASON FOR JESUS to walk on the water: "The Jordan River will disappear if nothing is done soon. More than half of it is raw sewage and runoff water from agriculture. What keeps the river flowing today is sewage."
• NOT-SO-EASY RIDER: " ... the original "chopper" model. Ah yes, there was a day when you could rake in the compliments with this cutting-edge model ... and I hear it got excellent grass mileage, too."
• CELESTIAL SUMMIT MEETING: "A spectacular gathering of three of the brightest planets will be the chief celestial attraction in the evening sky during this upcoming week.  It will, in fact, be possible for anyone with a clear and unobstructed view of the west-northwest horizon to see three bright planets -- Venus, Mercury and Saturn -- in a single glance."
• SOKOJIKARA AMERICA: "The Japanese have a word for this uniquely American strength -- sokojikara. This is their term for our resiliency and ability to recover in new and often unexpected ways. They view it as resting on three pillars—our vast natural resources, our deep human resources thanks to our large population and continuing stream of immigrants, and our wide-open economy which is constantly reinventing itself. "
• HELL NO, WE WON'T PAY! : "Instead of burning draft cards, these student protestors plan on shredding their Social Security cards. "Social Security is a miserable deal for today's young people," says event organizer Jessica Colon, director of Fix Our Future.com. "My generation gets the joke that we will have to pay in all this money in taxes, and won't get anything out of it."