March 20, 2005

Time-Outs to Be Forbidden at Gitmo -- Bad for Terroist Esteem

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ALAN BROMLEY proposes some bold new Gitmo rules--

The new rules, with the working title of, "Terms of Internment", should be: • We really, really respect all your beliefs and all your writings, even if you use them as your basis for killing us. • We want you to retain your beliefs, and therefore we will continue to supply you with every written word that reinforces your instinct to kill. • We will honor those words, at all times, as much as you do, lest we offend you. • We will only serve you the best humus available, from Zabar's (serving airline food is a severe violation of these protocols), or have kosher catering from the nearest kabbalah center. • We will cover our women, from head to toe, in your presence, lest you be unduly offended--or aroused. • We will give each prisoner one innocent civilian to hide behind during interrogations. • We will prepare each prisoner a list of 72 virgins (or give them 72 raisins, I forget which they want). • We will never lie to you or try to deceive you in our quest for your information. • We will neither wake you early, nor keep you up late, and will always wait until your prayer sessions are complete before questioning you. • We will house you in no less than five-star accommodations, and if all the hotels are booked, will place you in the five homes owned by Sen. John Kerry and his wife.
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Posted by Vanderleun at March 20, 2005 11:28 AM | TrackBack
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