I, (Frank Rich) Robot

If it is Sunday, it means it may be hard to avoid Frank Rich. Yup, there he is in full blather mode over at the New York Times: The Year of 'The Passion'

I once asked if Frank Rich of the New York Times got his position by bribery or by begging on his knees. He certainly didn't get it from a power-packed prose style or intellect. I was assured that he didn't have the kind of money for bribery.

Today Rich is back at his favorite Kool-Aid stand where he sells large glasses of his particular brew. At hand is his latest screed against the Right in general and Christians in particular. He loves this theme and returns to it "as doth a dog to his vomit."

But the particular paragraph below caught my eye.

Frank Rich from the Left: What is this about? How can those in this country's overwhelming religious majority maintain that they are victims in a fiery battle with forces of darkness? It is certainly not about actual victimization. Christmas is as pervasive as it has ever been in America, where it wasn't even declared a federal holiday until after the Civil War. What's really going on here is yet another example of a post-Election-Day winner-takes-all power grab by the "moral values" brigade. As Mr. Gibson shrewdly contrived his own crucifixion all the way to the bank, trumping up nonexistent threats to his movie to hype it, so the creation of imagined enemies and exaggerated threats to Christianity by "moral values" mongers of the right has its own secular purpose. The idea is to intimidate and marginalize anyone who objects to their efforts to impose the most conservative of Christian dogma on public policy. If you're against their views, you don't have a differing opinion — you're anti-Christian (even if you are a Christian).

How wrong and how Richian, I thought. And then I took another look and saw that Rich was not, after all, a writer, but a bot in the Times copy computer. Why with just a few, a very few, changes it could read exactly the other way around... say...

COPY, GET ME REWRITE!

Frank Rich from the Right: What is this about? How can those in this country's overwhelming political majority maintain that they are victims in a fiery battle with forces of darkness? It is certainly not about any loss of freedom. Freedom is as pervasive as it has ever been in America, where it was declared a God-given right by the Declaration of Independence. What's really going on here is yet another example of a post-Election-Day loser-needs-power grab by the "politically correct" brigade. As Senator Kerry shrewdly contrived his own crucifixion all the way to the bank, trumping up nonexistent threats to freedom to hype his candidacy, so the creation of imagined enemies and exaggerated threats to freedom by "political correctness" mongers of the Left has its own fantatic purpose. The idea is to intimidate and marginalize anyone who objects to their efforts to impose the most liberal of Demmocratic dogmas on public policy. If you're against their views, you don't have a differing opinion — you're anti-Humanity (even if you are a Human.)

No need for the Times to hire a new conservative columnist. I'll just rewrite Frank Rich columns for them. It is so easy, I'll do it for free and an invitation to their ChanukahKwanzaHolidayC____mas Party.

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Posted by Vanderleun at December 17, 2004 8:23 AM | TrackBack
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