Bozo Speaks: Mouth. Foot. Maher.

"Bill, how about a nice steaming
cup of STFU?"

The problem with being a bad comedian is that the more your jokes bomb, the more you start to think they are "serious ideas." Bill Maher, the man known for TV shows in which he proves again and again that he is not funny, has taken to writing "think pieces" in order to keep his hand from attacking him between bombs. His latest entry into the "Deep Thoughts of Bill is: Recalls Are for Cars, Not California Governors in which we are treated to observations like:

Now, I'm not saying that I like Davis. Being enthusiastic about Davis would be like saying your favorite food is straw.

Translation: "Please don't think I'm really this stupid."

But he fought for his country in Vietnam and won a fair election, and he's entitled to his term.

Actually, the law, Bill, states that he is entitled to his term unless he is recalled. Being a Vietnam Vet has nothing to do with it. But don't confuse yourself with a law that millions of people understand.

Maybe he's a lousy governor, but he was the one elected by voters who bothered to show up at the polls. Their efforts shouldn't be undone by disgruntled shoppers signing a petition on their way out of Target.

Yes, Bill, those pesky downmarket citizens that shop at Target. So much human detritus to those like you who shop Rodeo Drive. And they also fail

to watch your shows, which are so senstive and caring and amusing, right? Right. It is nice to know you don't count yourself as a man of the people any longer, since it is clear that the people don't count you as a man worth watching... or even a man.

Anyone who thinks this recall is some great affirmation of democracy should review early American history. This is precisely the kind of direct involvement by the howling masses that the framers wanted to avoid.

The fact that the framers also made it possible for the states to draft items such as the recall laws is probably lost on an entertainer so out of touch with the howling masses that he makes Bill Moyers look like Oprah.

And it'll really help the state economy, too, when investors realize our political system is on par with Belize.

If this is the Maher vision of the investor mindset and how simple they are, I'm glad he's a bad comedian and not working for Merril Lynch. He could keep the Recession deepening with only one day of trading.

Oh, and a recall election will cost the state up to $35 million. Money we would otherwise just waste on schools and roads.

I'm sure Bill and his friends could raise that much and much more just by agreeing not to make another Gigli anytime soon. Seriously, Bill, more than $35 million has already been wasted on you by several Television organizations and you still seem to be using up oxygen on th planet. Please stop with the plaints about the cost. Everybody with an IQ north of room temprerature knows $35 million is chump change unless you can get it in your personal account.

And we'll still have to have a regular election in March.

Bill, Bill, Bill... listen closely and try to understand the meaning of these two simple words: "So what?"

But this really isn't about elections at all. This is about a congressman named Darrell Issa, a Republican car alarm magnate who wants to be governor and has spent $1.5 million of his own money to fund the recall effort.

Hey, we weren't expecting you to reach for your wallet, and Barbra is busy suing helicopter pilots, and did you really think things were done by quarters dropped in jars in Circle K's? Somebody's got to write a check for these things. And, given the lack of success you've been having as a joker, they probably didn't think you had it to spare.

P.S. It is, Bill, about an election. Watch for it. Don't forget to vote unless you're too busy taking a meeting to pitch your next series 'Politically Incomprehensible."

(Hat Tip to: Matt Welch, a sane man, for leading me to Maher's blatherfest.)

Email this entry to:


Your email address:


Message (optional):

Posted by Vanderleun at August 2, 2003 2:00 PM | TrackBack
Save to del.icio.us